Hatch

I once ****ged a bird in someones front room once, while at the other side of the room, just 3 yards away, an ex-Saints & England player was ****ging her sister. Very odd night out.

and bras wouldn't fit.

referees and linesmen . as usual.

oh , and thanks to the Welsh FA and Northern Ireland FA for not backing us up. The Premier League and the FA should throw all the welsh clubs out of the league. Tossers.

Looks like the FA attempts to halt the election have been shouted down by the might of the FAs of Congo, Benin, Haiti, Cyprus and Fiji. We should know our place!!

must be a different Michael Owen, surely.

Don't understand the hate for traffic wardens. You know the rules, where you can and can't park. Sometimes, you take a risk and get caught. Imagine the chaos if there were no parking restrictions anywhere.

I want to be a traffic warden.

he saved a last minute penalty against the Germans once.

FFS . within 20 seconds of me posting this. It happened again!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I just read a book about someone who tried something similar with Darts. Julian something or other I think. He gave up his job and everything, just to play darts non stop. Practice practice practice... He got no-where.

people forwarding me emails that I have already been cc'd in. You can see my name on the list, DO NOT ****N resend it to me again.

unpeelable oranges

money taken now. nearly £3k, out of an application of £12k. I've worked it out to be either 2 sets of Athletics tickets or a basketball/football combo.

Not being able to dock my Boris Bike anywhere near my office. The milk in the fridge being off when i finally got in to the office, so couldn't have a cup of tea. People emailing me, to find stuff on the internet for them, when it would have taken them longer to write the email than do it themselves. Not signing Michael Owen yet. My soon to be ex-wife. Banks Fax Machines

Kebe or Long

no, we need players of premier standard, not good L1 players.

Millbrook, Thornhill , whatever. all scum.

That Bruno one, my local had a lock in for a group of us to watch that fight, this was before all night opening, You can imagine how ****ed we were by the time the fight finished. A great great night. Linford at Barcelona 1992. Jonny Wilkinson Germany 1 England 5 Ashes 2005

Did he sing 'Crazy Horses'?

came in to say this.

Berbatov. Move in quick tonight, while he has got the hump.

Berbatov left out, not even on bench. PL top scorer! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I love the Play offs. Best games of the season. Don't care who wins League 2, Huddersfield for League 1 and Reading for Championship. As I live in Berks and my oldest was born in Reading.

Maybe they will just be visiting 'Arry when is in Winchester nick in a few months.