Whitey Grandad

From 2006 but I don't think the criterion has changed: http://www.theguardian.com/football/2006/aug/23/theknowledge.sport "As a rule, if the initial attempt is goalbound it is credited to the player making the goal attempt," explained a Premier League spokesman. "However if the deflection means that a wayward effort results in a goal then it is attributed to the player who had the last definitive touch of the ball."

I don't see why we need to contribute more for the benefit of other Europeans. Most of them are living over here already

If the price is set then January or June won't make any difference. There may be other accountancy considerations, corporation tax on a new asset for example.

http://www.alumni.cam.ac.uk/sites/www.alumni.cam.ac.uk/files/styles/250px_155px_product/public/images/products/tie_v2_0.jpg

And cheap supermarket lager.

And 'cup tied'.

It's clear as daylight that Mane is aiming for the right of the goal and the ball deflects in off Van Aanholt's outstretched foot. His shot is on target so what's the problem? They can't seriously think that Van Aanholt's gets there ahead of Sadio, can they?

I posted this on the match thread: Absolutely ridiculous decision. I said earlier that Mané was aiming for the other side of the goal but there's no way that was an own goal. His shot was on target and it deflected off the defender's attempted block. Somebody needs to teach these idiots how football works. Does this now mean that every time a shot gets a nick off a defender it's going to be classed as an own goal? Pillocks.

Absolutely ridiculous decision. I said earlier that Mané was aiming for the other side of the goal but there's no way that was an own goal. His shot was on target and it deflected off the defender's attempted block. Somebody needs to teach these idiots how football works. Does this now mean that every time a shot gets a nick off a defender it's going to be classed as an own goal? Pillocks.

Great fun, thanks. Is there a better quality version? Mine was very jerky all the way through

Nice verb - I like it

In the war against Tesco every Lidl helps. I'll get me coat.

Yes, I was hoping for 0-8

Finishing above them would be good.

Sterling, unfortunately.

Balotelli creeps off at halftime. It's the fastest he's moved all game.

As Oscar once said: "it would take a heart of stone not to laugh"

Are you sure it wasn't 'get stuck into the Real Madrid team'?

Dreaming of playing in Madrid?

Is Balotelli on the pitch? He's as invisible as Lallana.

0-2 Benzema header.

On the bench

Even better, Lovren lobbed over his head He should be called Lob-ren.

0-1 Ronaldo Luvverly jubbly

8-0 is twice 4-0 so they should paid out twice