Whitey Grandad

I don't need to look at the table. It's imprinted in my brain.

Going to the crowd is an automatic yellow. I'm not sure the threshold but touching any part of it is probably enough.

Yes and yes, in that order.

I'd rather have an indecent one.

Not any more, not round here anyway. They were all turned off last Wednesday.

No rail replacement buses?

Unless you are prepared to pay a few pounds a month to go through a proxy.

My son has an Iphone 4S with both front and back cracked (grandchildren had an argument). Can you do this sort or repair?

Easter Monday? Are the trains running that day?

Can you get BBC2 online?

When I was a kid the toilet was out in the garden. Newspaper was what you wiped your arse with. Or wrapped up fish and chips. Or both.

The Germans have a word for that.

But this thread isn't about us.

I reckon Friday 13th could be the night!

I've been thinking 87 for some time. Our goal difference might look good at the moment but it can soon be eroded, although it would need both the others to catch us and they do have to play each other.

One would assume not. What HMRC should do is transfer the responsibilty for paying PAYE and NI to the players, or at the least demand a downpayment on account from newco if they have a history of defaulting.

I will accept nothing less than Champions League. I've waited long enough.

For promotion, if we beat Reading: If WH lose to R the maximum points are WH 92 R 91 so we would need 92 to be certain which is 17 more than now so we would need 4 wins plus beating Reading plus 2 draws. If WH draw with R the maximum points are WH 93 R 89 so we would need 90 to be certain which is 15 more than now so we would need 4 wins plus beating Reading. If WH beat with R the maximum points are WH 95 R 88 so we would need 89 to be certain which is 14 more than now so we would need 3 wins plus beating Reading plus 2 draws. My head hurts. I used to do all this when we were bottom of the Premiership. This makes a nice change.

After seeing about 10 seconds of highlights I plumped for Jos. Life's not fair.

I remember people saying that they liked Southampton because we played good football, and of course they all liked Sir Matthew. Perhaps they were were too polite to say we were a soft touch in my presence.

Yes, let's get the next four games under our belts and then see how it looks. But I have a feeling that Home v Reading may well have a carnival feel about it.

Both, but try not to spill anything.

Pity. We need another points deduction.

One last bright rally before the inevitable end?

When you put it like that... Besides we've had our share of injuries this season. Brilliant evening, clean sheets from here on in and we're laughing.