Sheaf Saint

Yep. Literally any one of those players on the bench right now would be a better option than him. Utterly, utterly awful tonight.

FFS Redmond actually just ducked out of the way of that FK instead of trying to get his head on it. Get that useless c*nt off the pitch now MoPe.

I can sort of see the logic of playing Redmond in this game, as in theory he is pacy and should be able to cause the Citeh defense problems on the break. But oh my days he has been crap. No ball control, no intelligence and just generally awful. Very much the weak link tonight.

Yep. Hoedt free header from a corner. Should have buried it but just got a little bit under the ball and couldn't keep it down.

Absolutely awful. Managed to cock up his through ball to Lemina and got a lucky ricochet, then when Lemina burst through he's just stood there on the edge of the box without a clue what to do or where to be. Shocking player.

Oh lordy. We actually should be 2-0 up by now.

They are killing my acca at the moment. Everton were so bad on Sunday I thought they would be nailed on to lose again.

Everton 2-0 up against West Ham now.

Yep. Despite our ultra-defensive lineup we still contrived to leave 3 Citeh players unmarked in our own box there. We'll get heavily punished if we carry on like that.

This one is working well for me (through a VPN though)

Not sure what Redmond was trying to do there. Coming backwards and looking for options, and just wellies it straight at one of his own players.

Ref telling us off for time-wasting. On 19 minutes. Have we turned into WBA tonight?

An actual diving save from Forster. Wow!

I've just gone for the fall-back option of First Row sports. Poor resolution and foreign commentary, but at least it's reliable.

Well I've come to the conclusion that Flawless TV is possibly the most inappropriately named service ever. I've tried multiple regions on my PIA VPN and can't get it to work at all. Load of sh!te.

3-5-2 then... VVD, Hoedt, Yoshi Cedric, PEH, Romeu, Lemina, Bertrand Redmong, Long

As have quite a few Everton fans on Twitter, by the looks of it... https://twitter.com/SkySportsNews/status/935845666408009728

So he really seems to have lost his grip on reality in the last couple of days. First he has started to deny that his "Grab them by the pussy" moment ever happened (having previously accepted it and apologising), then he tried to resurrect his completely debunked old theory about Obama not being American. Now he is re-tweeting inflammatory videos posted by Britain First's queen of ignorance and hypocrisy Jayda Fransen... http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/trump-retweets-british-far-right_us_5a1e9cd9e4b0cb0e917caaa1 I wonder what he is trying to distract everyone from now?

Allardyce confirmed at Everton... http://www.skysports.com/football/news/11671/11148852/everton-agree-deal-with-sam-allardyce-to-become-new-manager Reading some of the Everton's fans comments about this in Twitter - it's hilarious.

We already knew that though. He admitted when he signed that he saw us as a career stepping-stone. He's got a long way to go to prove himself worthy of a big money move yet though. He was very good on Sunday, but one swallow does not a summer make. He will need to show that level of performance consistently over a season or two before he starts attracting champions league suitors.

I think it is perfect logic actually, for three reasons... 1. He scored two goals on Sunday because the Everton CBs were shocking and left him completely unmarked to get on the end of those crosses. He won't get anything like that amount of space against Man City. 2. If our gameplan is to park the bus and hope for a counter attack, then he is not the right man to play that one up front role. Would prefer to see Gabbi or even Long in that role. 3. I doubt he would be able to play 3 games in a week, and would rather see him kept fresh for Bournemouth next weekend where he will be able to find much more room to operate amongst their defenders.

But it still crossed the line. So it was on target, but only by the faintest of margins

Yes it would. If you're looking to apportion blame to anybody, then VVD slipped when Sigurdson turned back onto his right foot. If he hadn't then it's possible he could have blocked the shot, but we'll never know.

Yeah I don't think anyone can lay the blame for it on Forster's doorstep. But.... If you look at it in isolation, despite us being so dominant yesterday, we still somehow contrived to let Everton score with their only shot on target.

How about we follow the Tories' recent idea of diverting our foreign aid budget to the Israeli armed forces instead?