Turkish

Happy new year mugs.

My dad missed my birth because he was the FA Cup fifth round match v Man U at the Dell in 1977. True story, I don't know if that explains a lot or leaves more questions than answers.

dsm

I thought you'd be staying in an watching a nights worth of Question Time recordings.

I wouldnt put it past Cortese to pull the old Joe Pesci 'funny what' routine from Godfellas if he tries laughing off any thoughts of joining Southampton.

It's rare that there is such as a thing as an easy game in this league but tomorrow is as close as you can get to it. A club in decline with an arrogant c*nt as a manger come to St Mary's. Their two brightest stars Walcott and chamberlain have ruined their careers and stalled their progress by joining Arsenal, meanwhile players that have stayed at Southampton like those two should have are tearing the premier league apart. Gibbs is a terrible defender and their best centre half is as fast as people's dead nan so it should be no problem to destroy their defence. Southampton have a far superior coaching set up to their London opponents and The current Saints team is man for man better than the team which narrowly lost to the best Arsenal team ever in 2003 cup final so on paper you can only see one winner in what could be one of the most one side games in the history of English soccerball. Prediction Saints 8 Arsenal 0

If Juve do make a bid then it is.

Did he misss the Barbers chair and end up falling over into the mirror?

Clap clap clap clap clap x100 sung at 100000 mph. Not so good Now is it smartarse.

This.

He was excellent i thought. Good on the ball in the first half and then got back and provided the support of the full back we've often been missing this season. Really felt for him as when he missed that chance it gave all the helmets a chance to attack him again. Which they are doing.

sour Mash is right in as much of the three goal custodians we've played this season Boruc is the best bet. Whatever issue is preventing his from playing needs to be resolved, it cant be that bad as he is still here and not been paid up/sacked/Puncheoned. Either use him or lose him or bring another glovesman in. It's clear Davis and Gazza (at the moment) aren't the answer.

It's quite a pathetic situation that we have 3 goal keepers, 2 of which are new signings and not one of them is reliable or an automatic choice. It's shambles.

The Italian Gary Cahill or Phil Jakielka is still twice as good as we have and no bad thing Colin!

30 is a good age for a keeper though, coming into their prime, a lot go on into their late 30s. He'll have at least 5 years left in him.

Last seen in goal for Warford making howlers against us last season.

I'd say Robinson is ideal. Experienced, proven keeper, good for a couple of years for Gazzaniga to learn from and be back up too. Then he can be brought through when he's reedy, not thrown in at the deep end like he has been, we'd just be doing the same with Butland.

I'm far from convinced Butland is the answer, Astoria sounds like he'd be an excellent signing though.

No but a bit of gratitude for the sage advice I gave you two years ago would be nice. Keep up this spoilt, ungrateful behaviour and your bird will be off getting pounded by someone else before you can say 'is it really worth it' and we'll be back to square one this time next year.

They get the money at the start of the window to spend on their own targets?

There are no maybes about it. Two years ago you were drunkenly whinging that your life was crap on new years eve, now you've done something about it, changed your job and got a bird. So by making an effort and not sitting sround bleating about it your life is better. I like to think that in a small way I may have helped with this.

I fancy one of those now.

Well you're contradicting yourself as you've made the effort to change career and get a bird and life is better for it, yes? You've made progress haven't you. Maybe your laziness, lack of motivation and woe is me attitude were the reason why life wasnt worth the effort and you were whinging how terrible it was two years ago.

Likewise. So is life now all that? What progress have you made in the last year?

This sounds like an excellent plan sir.