Convict Colony

****ing hell this is depressing, everyone is ****

hahahahahahhaaha

On the plus side we have reduced the goals conceded by 50% from our are last PL away fixture........ so far

Mine is f*cked as it only takes me about a year of being somewhere before i start sounding like a local. Used to be proper farmer (herefod) then went normal when i went to live in hong kong as a kid, then went posh back in Eng then went aussie after 3yrs there, then chinese ( i keep using mandarin words as part of english sentences) after 4 yrs in Singapore and now am in Suud Afrikaaa so am sounding like the racist guy out of Wild Geese or that swiss bloke out of Zulu Schiess "How far can you march in a day" fella. Only aim is to avoid living n US as no one wants to sound like a yank.

I know Adkins loves stats and KPI's so thought i would post a review of that half according to 4-4-2 stats zone app on the iphone we have had the following: 58.5% possession Territory 54.5% 175 out of 247 passes completed villa have managed 113 In the attacking 3rd we have completed 56/91 passes, villa 22/51 However for some reason we have done more defensive tackles than villa 12 v 8. So in my rubbish supposition we are passing well but the final ball is usually **** as villa aren't having to tackle or block which seems to explain Puncheons influence on the game.

On another note today will be the day i finally can be arsed to upgrade my account so I will be posting all over the shop and putting up lucky knockers on the match thread.

What's the worst that can happen, Kelvin has already let in 14 goals in 4 games and i think we all agree some of them have been preventable. If we keep KD and lose v Villa then what ? every game since our 1st loss at city is a must win game and if we lose v Villa then the next game will just increase the pressure and he will never get a go. Start him at home, positive support and i think our concerns about the change will be unfounded. Old article but always a nice reminder - http://www.lifesapitch.co.uk/opinions/the-top-10-emerging-players-from-the-football-league/

The number 1 thing that annoys me about watching these games is that whilst the premier league is mean't to be the best in the world the commentators are not. They have no professional integrity as they are normally just name who talk about football and normally the Top 4 teams at that. Stop sucking off famous players, read up on the lower placed teams, understand the progression each team has made and know the players strengths and weaknesses. Why do you think Gary Neville is a surprise as a pundit !!! its cos you are all crap and he puts effort into his craft unlike you numpties. Rant over.

hahaha i was just chuckling at your previous posts which you were right about at the time.

Not sure if mayuka has gone away with Zambia (I know SA are playing Brazil and then someone sh*t in a qualifier) but if he hasn't he would be getting drilled daily (no need to comment Bearsy or Tokyo) with whatever midfielders are left to work on the principles of our style, obligations and link up play. Surely 10 days training with the coaches will increase his saints knowledge massively, its like getting 1 on 1 training with the teacher, his learning curve will improve massively, therefore i would have him on the pitch somewhere for pace on the counter attack. If he's gone away ignore :-)

Gutted but yet again we have shown we can play football against the best. Still a lot of $$ to come onto the pitch for the arsenal game. Forward 3 were awesome but spiderman was immense. Gazza deserves a game and someone buy Nathaniel some studs for his boots.

right I've missed the knockers pics this year, I can't wait for Toyko's contribution after in innocent porn faux pas.

I'm going to be at 4. I would of hoped to of knocked Wigan over yesterday if we had done all of our transfer business, but given that we still are "apparently" in for 4 more positions (Ram, Phillips, CB,LB) we can still mathematically could improve 35% of the team based on signings alone (if we played Jrod as CF its more like 45%) so i retain long term hope based on the assumption we get those A class players. I think to pursue and create long term value you need patience, have belief in what you are doing and set standards of excellence. Reacting to the short term events (I would taken 1pt after 4 games before the season started) and letting your emotional response drive you negates this and we become like every other knee jerk club, results matter in May not August. On another note the impact both Santi Carzola and Michu have made on their teams leaves me highly optimistic that a Ram or another could do the same for us, its just that as mentioned billions of times, JRod, Guly are playing in positions to which they are not suited at this level which inhibits the 4-3-3 framework as 2 of the forward 3 are out of position. You can make do in the championship but not with the big boys, I do hope Man City spank Liverpool who i think have similar problems to us and like us are bottom.

I lasted 10mins f****ng hell, by that I mean before I had to come back and check :-)

Right I give up, I can't deal with the hourly emotional roller coaster that has occurred since Friday (when i first checked), I need Bearsy and Tokyo Saint to write some witticisms in the Muppet Lounge and enable me to focus on the important things in life like bans, porn, mods and random birds that can be manipulated to cook for Bearsy.

Excited at not having to find a stream every weekend and now being able to see it on my 55 " tv in HD but disappointed at not being on the look out for bouncing jugs on the match thread.

Tokyo I haven't seen anyone out porn you yet I don't think the bear has it in him, your ways are too stealthy and I personally enjoy the "i didn't know angle" to avoid bans. You are my 2nd favourite poster behind the Bear young jedi.

Bearsy is the new statto, you are already the lady skewering king of SWF and now you are adding stats to your resume. Next trick will be to out porn Tokyo Saint.

Just cos we are putting up old school tunes this is my fav by a long way, wicked tunes, gold chains and hair all whilst looking tough in a playground. If we had Poke still I'd volunteer Gazzaniga having a song called "I ain't no poke"[video=youtube;2TN-kDEKxF0]

I had the misfortune of living in Australia when I joined but now I am living in District 9 aka Johannesburg I should be something more bad ass like "The Hijack Kid" or "Gunsforshowknivesforapro". Or I could just call myself Nelson or Simba but they dont sound cool, actually f*ck it I am gonna look into changing it to Rorkesdrift or Zulusr****.

How about Bearsy investigates the perfect woman shape ? I am talking breasticles and their perfect sizing combined with their butt size. There is an awesome example at my work as she looks like she could bounce right back up if she fell forwards or backwards. I would ask for a photo but I don't think she would appreciate me posting on of here here, needless to say I will try and do a sneaky.

I give up, 3 posts used.

My bad http://ist1-4.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/4/9/5/1/49519/m/q/V/F/mqVF/jiggle_juggs.gif

Not seen some for a while on here and needed to get back to basics ahead of the match thread tomorrow. http://ist1-4.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/4/9/5/1/49519/m/q/V/F/mqVF/jiggle_juggs.gif

Its on South African TV and its a Friday, surely we must win now given we've been **** every other time I have watched since I got here.