Crazy Diamond

Honestly I just think it was the fact we were in League One, without wishing to sound like a Johnny Come Lately, and I was also living in Bournemouth at the time which had an impact. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy some bits. Like beating the Franchise, that was lovely. It just always felt like with the football we were playing, the players we had, the attendances we got, all of that kind of thing, we shouldn't have been playing down there. Two years of trips to places like Rochdale and Wycombe took their toll and I can't look back with an awful lot of fondness. I'm not stupid though, we've no divine right to be in any league but I really didn't like League One.

Before he starts, **** off MLG you utter mong. I stick by what I said a while ago. McGoldrick is one of the worst players I have ever seen. No composure when one-on-one, shooting ability of an amputee, all the footballing brain of a wet cabbage. The way he used to **** himself when there was a defender within a mile of him also speaks volumes.

Indeed, Neil Blake is his son is he not? He's not the nicest chap I've ever met I must say. I couldn't give a toss - but surely you owe him something at least for preventing you from going out of business then assembling a great team last season?

I have to say I didn't really enjoy last season, looking back on it. I didn't go mental when we went up either. This feels so much different though and yes I believe we've stepped up a gear. So far so good, but there is a long, long way to go.

For the record, Corp Ho and all other Portsmouth contributors, I'm not up to speed with your current financial situation, I'm not going to trawl through a Google search and bring up any incriminating evidence that I don't properly understand, that's for other people to do if they like. However. When I see someone on a forum whose signature reads 'HMRC got prawned by Pompey!', I do wish you'd have ended up in the state Weymouth did (relegation after relegation after relegation and no future) and the game is worse off for Clubs like yours who can monumentally **** up and get a reprieve and act like nothing has happened. Many Clubs overspend, we did in 2006/07 and I was very uneasy about it, but to your extent? Christ.

That statement is just completely untrue though, isn't it. And a lot of the anger to a man who saved your Club is based on the fact he took the **** out of this borderline obsession with us. It is so utterly pathetic that your fans keep up this artificial hate towards us that it defies belief. And as for spiteful, you're the fans that drove Eddie Mitchell to the state he was in yesterday. You are lucky to have a Club to support, so my advice would be to start acting like it.

A suggestion for Steve Fletcher. Excellent. Non-league in a matter of years.

I feel sorry for his secretary. There'll be a few smelly envelopes to open on Monday morning.

I'm going to stick my neck out here. He lives in a construction of some kind, perhaps using materials such as brick and glass. I'm open to debate on it though.

They're trying to imitate fans of big clubs who have proper rivalries. It's pathetic. They ought to stick to Poole Town, Dorchester Town, Weymouth... They'll be playing them soon enough.

Lee Bradbury just can't follow in the footsteps of Eddie Howe, its pretty obvious. They've been a victim of their own success, no question at all. Their players from last season realised they could play at a higher level, it was unravelling after Howe left, they got moves away. Simple. Mitchell has done a good job. They ought to be a bit more grateful.

I'll give it a go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh wait no, it is possible. F*ck 'em. I couldn't give a toss about them, and especially not after their attitude last season.

Hope we can learn from the mistakes today, delighted with the three points and a hat-trick for Rickie at this level is absolutely fantastic.

Matt Diving Derbyshire. Ha.

McGoldick. Bastard.

He was amazing by Bompey standards. Meaning he falls well short of ours.

That is incredibly stupid. Because we all know we're going to finish 17th EXACTLY and Hoddle would have prevented all of this.

I saw the Editors and the Rakes warm up for Franz Ferdinand in 2005. The lead singer of the Editors was a bit weird, I swear he kept staring at me throughout. The Rakes on the other hand were fantastic. Oh and speaking of the Rakes, I've been in contact with Alan Donohoe their lead singer, I'm interviewing him soon about some new material he's working on.

Sarmiento and Tejera please. We never unlocked their potential, with Nigel now in charge, the world is ours.

He gave me my GCSE certificates. He did a good job too. Sign him up.

That you have personally heard. An old housemate of mine got a girlfriend who was as thick as ****. She was an art student and dressed like she'd nicked all her clothes from a charity shop. She was talking about going to the summer solstice and uttered perhaps the stupidest thing I have heard in my life: "I want to go because my friend went last year and got a handjob from a witch - I want that" This was also the girl that thought she could use a tennis racquet as a spade to dig a hole on Bournemouth beach... With inevitable consequences, i.e the sand fell through the gaps between the strings...

Ha. Believe it or not it's all down to one simple thing, team talks. http://www.fm-base.co.uk/forum/football-manager-2011-tactics-training/29092-woifsongs-teamtalk-guide.html

It's January, I'm six points clear at the top with possibly the worst squad ever. The two biggest earners are also the two most injury prone players, their contracts are until 2012 and 2013 so I can't just release them and no one wants them on a free.

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Will get right on that. The BBC football website needs a live feed for this story alone. UPDATE: Beckham DOES own a house round this way. Otterbourne. Specifically 5 Greenacres Drive.