CHAPEL END CHARLIE

Can I just take a moment and step back from the gloriously funny detail of this unfolding story and offer my personal vote of thanks to the fans , players , management , and above all the many owners of Portsmouth Football Club for the months of free entertainment they have so selflessly offered up to Saints fans everywhere . The magnificently venal greed so openly displayed , the sheer farcical incompetence exhibited by all concerned shows such a spirit of generosity towards us that I can hardly express how deeply grateful we truly are . The really great part is that hilarious as your season has been so far , I strongly suspect that the best is yet to come - outstanding ! Part of me thinks we should try our Leon best to lose the forthcoming cup tie in a vain effort to repay you , it's the only decent thing to do really .

I would have demanded biscuits , and proper McVities Digestives too - not that cheap rubbish you get at Lidel's .

There's certainly a good case for the Army taking control of all tactical helicopters and drones with the RN taking over the Nimrod maritime patrol force and SAR , but the complete abolition of the RAF ? that seems a 'bridge too far' to my mind . There are still air missions that don't seem to fit in at all well with the proper role of a army or navy - such as air defence of the UK , battlefield air superiority , strategic reconnaissance ... etc . If this drastic measure were to occur however the RAF would have no one to blame for their downfall but themselves in my view . From a historical perspective the RAF's obsession with the failed concept of strategic (area) bombing before and during WWII was a frightful drain on resources that could surely have been better used elsewhere , and its prewar control (and neglect) of naval aviation would leave the RN grossly inferior to its US & Japanese counterparts for much of the war . I must stress I make absolutely no criticism of the magnificent effort and sacrifice the RAF's aircrew have made for this nation ever since its formation in 1918 , but sometimes it does seem we have won wars and battles in spite of having an independent air force rather than because of it . Even today the balance of our air power is all wrong . We have far too many 'fast jets' (Typhoon/Tornado/Harrier) and not nearly enough transport aircraft and army support helicopters (C17/Chinook/Puma) . This can partly be explained by the fact that the strategic situation has changed radically since the end of the cold war but the suspicion remains that the real reason we are so 'top heavy' with supersonic fighters is because that is what the RAF top brass really prefer to spend its money on rather than (dull frankly) transports and helicopters . Regardless of its faults I don't see the abolition of the RAF actually happening anytime soon as this would surely be a political disaster for any government proposing it . Memories of Fighter Commands heroic defence of the nation during the Battle of Britain and the 50,000 men Bomber Command lost bombing Nazi Germany run deep in this country (and justifiably so many would say) but the case for a reformed RAF that is much more focused on supporting the needs of the other two services seems very a strong one .

I obviously went to a better class of court than you then because I felt the barristers and judges I meet were absolutely first class , although the London barrister who missed his train and stopped the trial for hours did incur the terrible wrath of the judge . Let me assure you this was an expierence neither he nor I are likely to forget .

This is very unfair , I happen to know that Avram only visits 'knocking shops' in a charitable attempt to save fallen women .

Broadmoor ?

As a former jury member and foreman (twice) I may be able to offer you a few 'pointers' : 1 - You are guaranteed loads of hanging about not doing very much - take something to read . 2 - Commonly if you don't get a case then they will eventually send you home/back to work . You may get to see the game afterall ! 3 - The court will pay you your wages and reimburse you any travel expenses , you also get free food & drink . 4 - If/when you actually do get a case it can be a fascinating insight into human life . 5 - You are an important part of the criminal justice system , pay attention to the evidence & use your best judgement . 6 - You must never discuss the case outside of the juryroom . 7 - Dress smartly but many jury members don't wear a suite & tie these days . 8 - The barristers and judges you will encounter will probably be among the most impressive/intelligent people you ever meet . 9 - Never underestimate the difficulty of getting 12 different people to agree on anything - the voice of experience . 10 - Don't look on jury service as a negative , you may well find you enjoy the experience - I did .

It sure does . I see so many on here adopting a 'my club right or wrong' attitude that I seriously wonder if they even bothered to pause for thought for a second and realise just how petty this stupid business makes our club look to the outside world . Will all involved try to grow up and act like adults please .

There is more than a hint of truth in this . The real reason why St Marys (and other modern stadiums like it) does not produce a great amount of noise has little or nothing to do with where the away fan section happens to be located . Rearranging the seating arrangements will not only annoy a great many fans (I note many of those in favor aren't directly effected by the proposed changes :mad:) but it will almost certainly prove entirely ineffective in achieving the stated aim . There are many reasons why the match going experience is somewhat different now from what is was in the past , we don't have terraces anymore , fans are yards from the pitch , because you can't mix freely you may not know the person next to you ... etc etc but the most important reason is that the makeup of the football crowd (like society itself) has changed fundamentally over time . Look back at any old black and white film of a football crowd from the past and you will observe a sea of working class men standing packed together on a terrace all wearing flat caps , now if you could magically recreate that somehow you might just recapture the atmosphere that type of crowd generated . Today's football crowd is of course very different from that nostalgic 1950's vision . At St Marys now you find all sorts of people from all walks of life mixed together . That Dentist who sits next to you is never going to sing OWTSGMI at full volume , the father with his young daughter can't really scream obscenities at opposition players for 90 minutes (I would hope) and the ladies (in many cases anyway) don't seem to sing very much either . So do we only have 3000-6000 Saints fans who really want to sing ? I think we probably do and the proof of that is that hardly anyone bothers to sing outside the stadium anymore - try explaining that on the seating arrangements .

Irrespective of any teething problems this large and complex programme is experiencing in the medium/long term securing a place on board the F35 JSF will undoubtedly provide both the Fleet Air Arm with a state of the art stealth aircraft and prove to be a very good piece of business for 'UK PLC' in the process . Anyone with even the slightest interest in military aviation will be aware of just how successful the F35's predecessor -the F16 - has been in commercial and military terms and as 1000's of these excellent aircraft come up for replacement over the next 20/30 years the F35 will be well placed to secure the lions share of that business - with a significant proportion of that work heading our way . While the benefits to our beleaguered manufacturing economy are obvious the aircraft itself is an amazing piece of kit , for example sensors embedded all over the airframe will feed images to the pilots computerised helmet sight enabling him to virtually 'see' through solid objects (such as the floor or wings of the aircraft) as if they weren't there - even Luke Skywalker couldn't do that ! The version of the F35 we are interested in (the F35B) will replace the famous Harrier 'jump jet' and frankly it will offer a quantum leap in capability , kinda like exchanging a old Cortina for a new Mondeo . The objection will certainly be raised that we can't afford the F35B JSF and the two 'Queen Elizabeth' Class aircraft carriers they will operate from at this time . My reply to this is that the reasoning behind the decision to build the carriers (expeditionary warfare) is as sound now as it was when it was taken and that as the carriers are largely contracted for already for it's too late now to cancel them anyway . Naturaly it makes absolutly no sense to build aircraft carriers and then not buy any aircraft to fly from them . My solution to the funding issue would be to cancel plans for a land based RAF F35 force and just buy around 70 (rather than the planned 150) for use primarily aboard the RN's carriers . As this design will be in production for decades to come in all likelihood (unlike Eurofighter) I see no reason why we should not spread the cost and order them in small batches - something like buying 10 a year for 7 years may be just about affordable even for our ever shrinking defence budget . We are an island nation absolutely dependent on the freedom of the seas for our national survival , consequently we still need to have a navy that counts for something in the world .

As point of order I think the club is wrong to initiate a vote while being less than candid with the voters (on the OS at least) about the full implications of the proposed changes . We on here know the plan is to move the away section to the Chapel/Kingsland corner but many of those who only visit the OS may well be completely unaware of that very pertinent point . Perhaps if they knew the full facts (as they should) then some of the fans voting 'yes' might take a very different view if they realised that it was their seats that would be directly effected by this (ill-conceived IMO) scheme . We're all going to get quite enough of that kind of thing from our politicians in the upcoming election without our club joining in !

There's no need for a 'AFC Portsmouth' because I understand that poor sap who owns the title 'Portsmouth Football Club Ltd' (and gets the bailiffs knocking on his door as a result) might just be open to offers .

Shirt sponsorship deals are virtually 'free money' to football clubs and this news that we don't even need a sponsor anymore is proof positive (if anybody still doubted it) that this club is easily the best financed club outside of the Premier League . I wonder how this story will go down at the wrong end of the M27 . Being a rich man's plaything certainly has its perks my friends - let's hope our 'sugar daddy' doesn't lose interest in us any time soon .

Are you saying you have nothing to look forward to ?

Antonio - Although young and still learning his trade you can see this lad can really play . Just about quick enough to pose the opposition problems and good technically (especially his close control) when you add in the proven ability to score then he must go down as a really good prospect . I see him potentialy developing into a winger at least as good as Nathan Dyer - if not better . Out of contract I believe in the summer this decision really is a 'no brainer' IMO and whoever spotted this lad languishing unwanted in Reading FC's reserve team deserves a pat on the back . Papa Waigo - What I like about this player is that he makes things happen . As last Saturdays game showed he can shake things up and arguably he provides our attack with a touch of class and pace that lower league defences find really hard to cope with . While he's not perhaps the brightest player ever to don a Saints shirt (which may explain the managers obvious reservations about him) I'd say he's worth keeping if he wants to stay , but only if the price is right .

Good to read that - there was an unlikely rumour going around St Marys on Saturday that he had been sold to an EPL club .

Christ was/is the ultimate optimist I suppose , but I'm quite prepared to make him the exception to the rule in my 'round them up and shoot them all' request .

What a load of Cobblers ! :mad: It has been the optimists not pessimists that have been responsible for all the evils of the world throughout history and if they were all rounded up and shot tomorrow (as I optimistically advocate) then our little blue planet would not only be a saner more realistic place for us all , but perversely it would also be a rather happier one as well . Embrace your negativity , welcome the pessimist - you know it makes sense . George Bush and Tony Blair are optimists - end of .

Yeah thanks for that Ludwig . So Shakespeare's dead then ? I didn't even know he was ill .

It's a cardinal mistake to consider that the written language is in any sense controlled and regulated by a set of fixed 'laws' that must never be broken . The term 'law' implies that some international regulating body exists somewhere with the authority to dictate a set of official rules on users of the language and even impose punishments on transgressors . No such body exists of course and the so called 'Laws of English' are in reality little more than mere conventions , and relatively recent ones at that . The last time I checked being unconventional is not generally regarded as a crime in most walks of life . Much as I respect the work of the good people at the OED they cannot in any real sense be said to own or regulate a language as hugely dynamic and ever evolving as English , so as long as your meaning is clear and unambiguous then (especially on a medium as trivial as a Internet forum) I think we can all afford to adopt a relatively relaxed attitude to the odd misplaced comma , spelling mistake , or even (horror of horrors) a redundant question mark . Look at it this way , by all accounts a chap called William Shakespeare managed to employ our language pretty effectivly and his spelling and punctuation was quite appalling . PS , No doubt I've committed numerous grammar crimes in the above post , but please don't bother correcting me as I really don't care that much .

Well we'll have to agree to disagree - I thought he was excellent (in a poor team performance) and easily our best player for most of the match .

My ratings for Saints v Stockport County (2-0) K Davis 7 - Faultless but a pretty routine day at the office in all honesty . J Ostemobor 6 - The kind of player who is unlikely to be bad enough to lose the game for you - or good enough to win it . J Fonte 6.5 - Looked competent but hard to really tell against opposition as poor as this . D Seaborne 6.5 - See above . J Mills 6 - Plenty of mistakes but signs of the real ability that he undoubtedly processes as well - a young player learning his trade . M Antonio 7.5 - A super display of effective wing play , his close control of the ball is exceptional . M Schneiderlin 8 MOTM - Midfield dynamo . Mobile , creative & the hard tackling midfielder every team needs . Magnifique ! P Wotton 6 - Typical mix of honest hard work & near comical inability with a football . L Holmes 7 - He got (much) better as the game progressed , properly match fit now & surely a useful asset for the rest of the season . L Barnard 6 - A proper grafter but fluffed the few goal chances he had . Subbed for Papa . R Lambert 6.5 - Credited with the vital (& v scrappy) 1st goal but not really terribly effective I thought . Substitute : Papa Waigo 7.5 - Changed the entire game when he came on . Don't ask me why he doesn't feature more often . :confused: Conclusions : A poor game of football against the worst (& smallest) team we're likely to see at St Marys this season , it only really came to life when Papa came on in all honesty . Bright spots were the excellent Schneiderlin , Antonio's wing play and signs that Holmes is regaining good form . Credit to the manager for getting the substitution exactly right . A win is always a good result at any level but anyone who came looking for evidence that we are on the verge of mounting some unstoppable run to the playoffs is likely to have left somewhat 'unconvinced' .

As we are on the subject the use of two question marks seems a tad superfluous .

An interesting question indeed and one that I've often wondered about myself . I suppose as the inner workings of Markus Liebherr's mind remain a bit of an enigma all you can say at the moment is that we'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it .

Rearrange the following words : Muck - Common - As