CHAPEL END CHARLIE

Yes, transforming the Klingons from the pantomime villains of TOS, into the proud and noble warrior race they were to become, was a something of a triumph. Indeed, when you think about it inventing (from scratch almost) an entire culture with its own language, politics, history, cuisine, and religion is a achievement to rival the ambition of truly great sci-fi literature, such as Frank Herbert's 'Dune' for instance. Of course the Klingons of Captain Kirk's era are notable for their entirely smooth Human-like foreheads. I see that various attempts have been made to explain away this obvious visual discrepancy, but I for one don't find them to be all that convincing. One aspect of TNG I never much liked was the design of the 'D' Enterprise itself. Compared to the strange elegance of the original NCC-1701 (much enhanced now with the benefit of modern special effects in the remastered TOS episodes currently being shown on CBS) to me this ship looks oddly ill proportioned, with its ugly oversized 'saucer section' and flattened hull. I also never understood how the saucer section could possibly maintain warp speeds when it was separated from the 'star drive'! Both the NCC-74656 'Voyager' and the NX-01 'Enterprise' designs seem much more elegant and successful to my eye. But if I could vote for my favorite spaceship design it would just have to be this one - The 'Discovery 1' from 2001: A Space Odyssey:

We seem to be extraordinarily good in this country at prosecuting aged DJ's and half forgotten pop stars for historic sex offenses, and few will have much sympathy for them, but when it comes to tackling powerful establishment types, men who may well be guilty of crimes even more serious in nature, nothing much seems to be happening - apart from the old trick of a instigating a Public Inquiry that will take so long to report that by the time it does the half suspects will be dead that is. I smell a rat here ... and I don't just mean Paul Gadd.

* WARNING TREK TRIVIA AHEAD * I've been watching Series One of Star Trek TNG yet again recently (yes I know there's no hope for me) and its interesting to see how both the cast and the writers had yet to settle fully into their roles at this early stage in the shows history. Geordie La Forge is to be seen at the helm rather than in Engineering, Data's behavior is even stranger than usual, and for what I believe the only time in trek history the Captain actually swears (Merde!). I was also mildly surprised to see that Lt Worf was a very secondary character back then - Tasha Yar's dogsbody almost. Speaking of the lovely Denise Crosby, it's hard to imagine now, but at a relatively late stage of TNG pre production she swapped roles with Marina Sirtis, which considering that the 'Councilor Troi' part would endure all the way the the conclusion of the series 7 seasons later may well have been a mistake on her part. In case anyone was wondering she is indeed the granddaughter of the great Bing Crosby. The reason Denise subsequently asked to be so dramatically written out of the series (TNG S1/23 'Skin of Evil') was because she was dissatisfied with the way the writers were dealing with the Tasha Yar part - she could she herself gradually becoming another dull desk bound 'Uhura'. Denise would come to regret her decision and was later written back into the series as her own daughter! You can see why the cast hated those original skin tight Star Fleet uniforms - one doughnut too many at lunchtime and it'll show!

Really? Their motivations seem transparent enough I would have thought - IE provoke their outraged enemies into more military action against them and the new recruits to swell their ranks, and the additional funds to fill their coffers will surely follow. As plans go it's a barbarically cruel, yet depressingly effective one.

I watching once again yesterday Peter Capaldi's 'The Cricklewood Greats' which is a spoof documentary dealing with the output of North London's (fictional) 'Cricklewood Studios' - think a cinema equivalent of 'Spinal Tap' and you will have the idea. If you haven't seen it already, this really is a very funny programme that deserves a much bigger audience than I suspect it will find on BBC4 late at night. Half the fun is trying to work out which old British films and actors are being (not always affectionately) satirised - Charlie Chaplin, Gracie Fields, Will Hay, Peter Cushing, Hammer Horror, are all here if you look hard enough, but there are no prizes for guessing that the real world 'Carry On' series have been transformed into Cricklewood's notorious 'Thumbs Up' movies, complete with a self loathing Kenneth Williams clone. How fantastic it would be if there were a real films called Florrie Drives a Lorry, Brest's of the Vampire and Thumbs Up Her Majesty's Pleasure ... come to think of it I'm almost sure I've actually seen some of them. Peter Capaldi is of course far too busy time traveling in the Tardis at the moment to be doing more quality stuff like this, but as he wrote, starred in, produced and directed 'Cricklewood Greats' it does go to show what a exceptionally talented chap he is. http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01bs3ww/the-cricklewood-greats

Methinks some of you lot would do well to concentrate more on the standard of your own driving and less on what everyone else is doing. You never know but a bit less of the 'Death Race 2000' attitude and a little more James May style 'Christian Motoring' might even make our roads a better place for everyone. ... and yes I am holier than thou

Are you always in this state of constant rage, or is it just because we lost today? If you can manage to calm down and use your brain for once, I think what Ellison was trying to say is that without some context what would a idea such as 'pleasure' really mean anyway? For instance, if you have never experienced sickness then what pleasure is there to be had in good health, for how could you possibly appreciate it never having known any other state? On a more profound level it is perhaps our mortality that makes life the precious thing it is because only the 'pain' of knowing that life is so very precarious gives it real meaning. In the story once 'Paingod' comprehends just how crucial he is to the universe he overcomes his moment of doubt and redoubles his efforts - dispatching a melancholy thought to some barely conscious crystalline rock creature hanging on to life at the edge of the galaxy, or unsupportable suffering to a sublimely beautiful life form that inhabits the very centre of the universe. 'tis a good book.

You're quite right of course, the religiously inclined may say that God gave us 'free will' and that he works in 'mysterious ways' that are far beyond the comprehension of we mere mortals. Many seem to be dissatisfied with that answer. I wonder if Stephen Fry is familiar with the writing of the science fiction author Harlan Ellison, because the great man once came up with his own answer to this age old question: 'The Deathbird Stories' - Harlan Ellison 1974. In other words suffering is God's 'gift' to the world, for without it life can have no meaning.

I was thinking more along the lines of 'slapped in the face with a wet Haddock'.

You know sometimes when you invite a guest onto a TV interview show and they're just too cautious to say anything very interesting or provocative ... well there's no danger of that happening if our Stephen is involved. [video=youtube;-suvkwNYSQo] I bet that went down well with all those Catholics ...

If he was a car I'd drive him into a lamp post and claim the insurance money.

New BBC sit coms - one bad, one good: Still Open All Hours (BBC1 Sunday) Back in the day I was a big fan of the original 'Open All Hours' but comedy has moved on and without a comic genius of Ronnie Barker's stature involved the weakness of Roy Clark's outdated (and all too predictable) scripts are horribly exposed. As fresh as a dead dog this miserable, mirthless, excuse for sit-com really should have been strangled at birth and the fool responsible for commissioning it should be taken out and shot. Count Arthur Strong (BBC1 Tuesday) Just to prove that old fashioned need not always mean unfunny, this modest little sit com (one I understand that first saw the light of day on radio) about the ridiculous misadventures of a bewildered OAP does at least generate some genuine laughs. Arthur (the excellent Steve Delaney) is a old man curiously at odds with the modern world around him, which leads him into constant trouble of course. But more than any of that, there is something inexplicably funny about this comic creation - the way he walks, his looks, that hat ... Tommy Cooper resurrected almost.

I'm pretty sure Uncle Les assured us that the club has a comprehensive scouting network in place to ensure that we are not entirely reliant upon YouTube to find players. There's nothing wrong per se with signing players from the Eredivisie of course, but methinks you exaggerate your case when you claim there are only a few exclusive areas on this big planet where we might find good players. Why should we not again find new players from Asia, Africa, or S America, as so many other PL clubs do ... even the French have been known to produce a decent player or two every now and then! No, I say we should 'cast our net' as widely as possible, and if one day we end up with what is effectively a Eredivisie squad in exile then I for one would find that situation to be more than a little odd. Before the forum's more hysterical members jump in again, I do know we are not there yet ...

Well thanks for your concern my Scandinavian friend, but you'll be pleased to learn that (despite one ridiculously OTT reaction) I've managed to remain perfectly calm all day. Back to the issue at hand - I put it to you that one of the reasons many progressive clubs are now replacing traditional 'Managers' with 'Head Coaches' is to avoid, or at least lessen, the problem of 'their' players wanting to follow the manager who signed them out of the same door when he goes. Clearly this concern does not rate very highly here at the moment, and considering how well things have gone so far this season that is quite understandable. But perhaps one day issue this might just come back to bite us. That is all. Now instead of attempting to raise what seems to me this mildly debatable issue, I should perhaps have posted how good this player looks on some silly kid's computer game. But as I'm not a teenager and I don't use my laptop for playing games on anyway I can't really do that. Maybe a dull comment on how impressive his YouTube clip looks would have met with widespread approval. But as almost any player can be edited to look good on there I don't really see the point of that either to be honest about it.

My dear Ludders. If you want to avoid making a utter fool of yourself on here its probably best if you let the alcohol flush out of your system first before posting. Come back when you are rather less 'tired and emotional' and then perhaps we can discus the matter without resorting to childish insults.

Oh do calm down Dierdre.

I can claim little meaningful knowledge of this particular player, but if this report is correct it is yet more evidence that we do seem to be focusing our interest on players the manager already knows and trusts. That's all well and good as far as it goes, but it does raise a question mark over whether we are in danger of missing out on potentially better players just because they don't happen to have played in the Eredivisie before. Another potential problem with this strategy is that when the manager eventually leaves - and he will at some stage of course - we may be left with a sizable group of unsettled players who want off too because they owe their allegiance not to SFC, but to RK personally. So are we storing up problems for the future here?

Holbein: Eye of the Tudors - A culture Show Special. (BBC2 Saturday) http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0513ghb/the-culture-show-holbein-eye-of-the-tudors-a-culture-show-special A truly excellent programe I thought (and one that is still available on the IPlayer if you missed it) about everybody's favorite 16th century artist - the great Johannes Holbein. ... just don't ask me to pronounce 'Waldemar Januszczak' unless you want a face full of spittle.

Pretty much this really. All I will add is that I'm not all convinced that (£10m) Fraser Forster is any better than (free transfer) Arthur Boruc is, and when we were literally minutes away from going out of the cup we still only had one man in the box at times. Let's face it, we were beaten by a better team on the day - but sometimes you can worry too much about keeping your shape and playing the percentage ball when what you really need to be doing is throwing the proverbial 'kitchen sink' at it. Great as this season has been this fan found that second half (non) performance to be bitterly disappointing.

Wolf Hall (BBC2) You might well think that the Tudors have been done to death on TV recently - you might think that until you see Wolf Hall and then, if you're anything like me, you'll be thinking that we could do with some more. I know this is obviously is a work of fiction, but even so Thomas Cromwell makes the most unlikely of historical heroes, he is usually portrayed as the scheming villain that famous Holbein portrait somehow makes him look. But Hilary Mantel has brought out a unexpected Human side to the man that means spending a hour in his company is no hardship - indeed despite everything you can't help but like this version of Cromwell and soon become fascinated by him. Much of the credit for this must be shared with Mark Rylance because his central performance as Cromwell is just superb - a masterclass in the actors craft. I must shamefully admit that I hardly know him because he has spent most of his career on the stage playing all the heavyweight Shakespearian roles that are the lot of a actor of his class - the screens loss being very much the stage's gain I'm thinking. Needless to say Rylance is ablely supported by a outstanding cast and the production values on display here are beyond reproach. It is quality drama like this that justifies the existence of the BBC because I seriously doubt that any other broadcaster could do this type of programming half as well as they do - indeed just one episode in and already Wolf Hall is right up there with I Claudius as 'must see' television for any discerning viewer. When the drama is of this standard even though history tells us how these stories must end, that doesn't seem to matter somehow because the journey we are on is just unmissable. PS - I see some are complaining that because many of the night time scenes have apparently been shot using authentic period candlelight only this makes the action hard to see! As the series looks so utterly sumptuous (like a 'old master' painting at times) as complaints go this is kind of ... well 'dim' is the word I'm looking for.

Oh controversy is allowed on here and if you don't much rate Clint Eastwood then that's your business of course - 'each to his own' as they say. However, as a life long fan of the man I must point out that he is a widely respected film maker with a six decade long body of work behind him - both as a actor and a director - that is perhaps unmatched. So in the great man's defence here be, in no particular order, some of my personal favorite Eastwood films with a brief explanation offered as to why I love them so ... and yes I do accept that even he has made few bad films in his time too! Honkytonk Man (1982) Our hero plays Red Stovall, an ailing Country & Western singer suffering from the effects of TB who has been given that proverbial 'one last chance' to make it big - as long as he can get to Nashville with his young nephew in tow that is. A subtle, beautifully shot, film that understands intrinsically what Human frailty means and how precious life is. Eastwood may have made his name as a traditional 'all guns blazing' action hero, but understated little films like this demonstrate that (unlike many of his contemporaries) he has so much more to offer than just that. Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974) A heist movie that not only works superbly as a crime yarn, but also succeeds brilliantly in making you genuinely care about the fate of its two lead characters - Eastwood and a young Jeff Bridges. The final scene, where Eastwood and his unfortunate partner drive off into the distance in that new Cadillac that has cost them so very dearly is surely iconic ... and one that this viewer found to be almost unbearably moving by the way. Unforgiven (1992) The western was a fading genre long before Eastwood crafted this magnificent piece of cinema history, but my God if they never made another Western that would be okay with me because how on earth could anyone possibly top this? Eastwood has made a living out of portraying violence of course, but 'Unforgiven' shows that he has grown to understand that acts of violence will have their inevitable consequences. There is a famous scene near the end of this film that I call the 'he had it coming' scene where the aging Eastwood - his face like a mountain - absolutely 'nails it' in a way that perhaps no other actor possibly could. The single finest moment in American cinema history - in my opinion of course. A Perfect World (1993) Eastwood the director shows what a generous filmmaker he is my taking a relatively small role in this fine film, a film that charts the highly unusual relationship that develops between a violent criminal and a young boy he abducts - both of then 'damaged goods' in their own way. Again Eastwood leaves his audience with a ending that is quite devastating. Note the interesting contrast on display here between the liberal message of this film and Eastwood's earlier (ultra Conservative) work such as the 'Dirty Harry' series for instance. Bronco Billy (1980) A film about the importance of holding on to your dreams and of being true to yourself and your loved ones. Bronco Billy (Eastwood) is a middle aged shoe salesman who reinvents himself as a wild west cowboy type figure leading a ragtag assortment of oddballs across the Midwest in his traveling circus. Humane and at times very funny, 'Bronco Billy' may be one of Eastwood's lesser known films, but it is a little gem methinks. Any Which Way But Loose - Any Which Way You Can (1978/80) Okay not the most subtle example of intellectual film making ever produced, and films that I strongly suspect some keep silent about liking. But this Eastwood fan is not at all embarrassed to admit that he utterly loves them in all their joyous irreverence and unsophisticated 'redneck' silliness. Just ask yourself how many other filmmakers can boast a breath of work that not only forces you to think profoundly about the world and Human nature, but can also make fun nonsense like this that makes you laugh out loud and forget your troubles for a hour or two?

I've just seen his post match interview and I must say it was refreshing. Obviously delighted to be here and back in the goals, clearly grateful that RK has given him a chance (after what seems to have been a difficult time in Germany) and apparently interacting with his new team mates well. In short everything I want to see from one of our players and not a sign on show of the reputation for being rather 'difficult' that preceded his arrival. We've all seen many new players start well but then rapidly go off the boil, but I'm thinking that Eljero may well prove to be a real asset to this squad for the rest of the season - and maybe beyond.

It's almost scary to think where this team of ours might be with a fit and in-form JayRod contributing - the gap between us and the top two could well be minimal now. It's still early I know, but Koeman surely has to be in with a shout of the 'Manager of the Season' award.

An excellent post if I may say so sir. Toleration and mutual respect is the only way forward, although I'm well aware that sounds rather like a 'motherhood & apple pie' type of comment because (I would hope) no reasonable person could possibly disagree with it. It's right that we in the 'West' place a high value on our freedom of speech, but that freedom doesn't mean we need gratuitously insult the religious faith of minority groups without good cause. I call that behavior 'respect'. The other side of that coin is that Muslims who choose to live in the West, or are born here, must learn to accept that these are multicultural secular society's that can never be transformed into the devout Islamic caliphates that some extremists seem to be seeking. We might call that behavior 'tolerance'. I've lived on this planet long enough and read enough of its often brutal history to know that, beneath the thin veneer of civilisation, the base nature of the Human Race is as resistant to improvement as it ever was. We may carry our primeval 'monsters from the id' into the stars with us one day I suppose - Roddenbury was wrong alas. Nevertheless, even this world weary realist finds the wave of extreme violence and intolerance sweeping across parts of our world to be a profoundly depressing phenomenon. Far from progressing, the actions of extremist groups such as ISIS and Boko Haram seem to suggest that we as a race are in danger of regressing into some sort of of historical barbarism I had hoped we were on the verge of leaving behind us. But we must never despair of the world because for every ignorant murderous savage out there, there are a hundred decent people who manage to peacefully live their lives doing no harm to others in the process. I'll try to hold onto that thought the next time I hear tale of another bus load of innocents slaughtered because they were not able to recite verses from some 'acceptable' religious or political text - whatever one that happens to be.

A good result of course but it's a bit of a shame that, despite our lofty league position, we're just not all that entertaining a team to watch at the moment. Some how that amazing Sunderland result seems a long way away now. I'd be surprised if the BBC single us out for special attention again anytime soon. Of our younger players who featured - JWP, Harrison Reed, Matt Targett - they all look competent and competitive and they all slotted into the first team nicely, but where was the display of individual flare you want to see from players of that age? The manager knows his business needless to say, but I was a little disappointed to see Lloyd Isgrove denied a opportunity to show the nation what he can do, because methinks he may just be the type of player to grab a game by the scruff of its neck and make a real impact on it. Never mind we won and we're one step closer to Wembley - so on the next round and I hope the club and Crystal Palace can agree another sensible ticket pricing arrangement so that we fill St Mary's again.