CHAPEL END CHARLIE

Let's just say I think you probably have some 'issues' you need to deal with. It seems to me that but for your fanatical determination to have the last word, this thread would surely have died a natural death months ago. The problem is your pig-headed attitude has stirred up so much opposition on here that - unless some merciful mod puts a end to this folly - you will now never get the final say you are so desperately seeking. One might wonder at what kind of satisfaction it would give you even if you did? The latest bombshell in this ongoing soap opera you have created - IE that you are a man in his 60's rather than the adolescent ''LOL & Emoticon'' merchant you come across as - is perhaps your most eye-opening contribution yet. The only advice I can offer you is that for your own sake you'd do well to ''step away from the keyboard'' for a week or two ... I don't expect that will happen however because you may lack the level of wisdom required to understand why you should do that.

If you have been to any recent SFC v AFC fixtures then you'd know just how keen some of their more excitable fans are to turn this situation into a proper local grudge match - I remember SFC supporters getting dogs abuse at Dean Court a few seasons ago. Nevertheless - well done to them. They have one of the best young managers in the game and I hope their fans - a much more common sight in Poole and Bmth than ever before surprisingly - enjoy the season or two they might spend playing in the PL.

I met a old Canadian friend the other day, for the first time in decades as it happens. Regulars on this thread may be surprised to learn that she was quite normal and not at all psychotic. A true - if rather boring - story.

I agree with Pap! From that iconic opening sequence with Tony Bennet blasting out 'Rags To Riches' on the soundtrack, right to its wonderfully seedy ending, 'Goodfellas' is without any doubt at all a superb movie. Indeed, Martin Scorsese has arguably produced here a better gangster film than even Francis Ford Coppola managed in his wonderful 'The Godfather' series I think. Joe Pesci steals the film from under the noses of Robert De Niro and Ray Liotta - that scene set in a restaurant when he 'jokes' with the Liotta character - the know the ''do you think I'm funny'' scene - is quite remarkably tense. I doubt that a psychopath has ever been more chilling portrayed in cinema history. Pesci would go on to receive the 'Best Supporting Actor' Oscar for his performance in Goodfellas, but I take issue with the 'Supporting' description because I think he is central to the success of this film. oh, and by the standards of the day epic levels of swearing in this film too ...

There was a time when a car battery would let you know when it was starting to struggle. The starter motor might turn over abnormally slowly but the engine would just about start - if you were lucky. On modern cars however there is no middle way anymore. Battery's seem to perform as if they were a on/off switch - IE they either start the car instantly or (without any warning) you just get that dreaded 'tick' noise from the ignition and a call to the AA is in order.

I've just enjoyed again what is I think by far the best joke ever seen in the entire history of Star Trek. The incurably infuriating ''Q'' has been (temporarily alas) reduced to mortal status aboard the Enterprise. When he asks what can do to convince a skeptical Captain Pickard of his new reduced circumstances Worf replies: ''die''. Quick as a flash Q counters with the repost: ''Ah Worf ... eat any good books lately'' The lesson here is that it is unwise for comparatively primitive warrior types to attempt to match wits with someone who has a IQ of over 2000.

Catastrophe: Europe Goes To War 1914 - by Max Hastings I don't suppose there are many more complex historical story's to tell than the saga of why and how the Great War started. So a substantial book will inevitably result then and if you prefer your history to come in 'bite sized' chinks then this is probably not a book for you. If however you want to read a (single volume) history that explains what happened in a lucid and easily comprehensible manner then this effort will serve admirably I think. Hastings is not a academic historian writing dense history only for his peer group to read. He writes for a general readership - IE people that are interested in the subject while not necessarily being experts. So while you will not find much original archival research here, or important new discovery's, the number of accounts (often rather obscure ones) the author has read in order to assemble this work of his is formidable. So a book about other books then, but a labour of love nevertheless. What makes this history such a stimulating read is that the author is not at all afraid to criticise those whom he thinks were especially culpable for this calamity that overtook Europe. He places most of the blame for the war on Germany's fateful decision to grant the Austro-Hungarian empire a 'blank cheque' of unlimited support over their plan to invade Serbia. The warmongering leader of the Austro-Hungarian army (Conrad von Hotzendorf) comes across here as perhaps one of the biggest fools of history, the German Chief of the General Staff (von Moltke) equally incompetent. Allied leaders do not escape either. In the months leading up to the outbreak of war Liberal Prime Minister Herbert Asquith seems to have been much more interested in Ireland's perennial 'troubles' rather than the unfolding disaster in the Balkans. The general chosen to command the 'British Expeditionary Force' (Sir John French) was it seems utterly unsuited to the burdens of high command. Even France's legendary 'Hero of the Marne' (Marshal 'papa' Joffre) was responsible for awful French casualties in the opening encounters. However, for all the terrible bloodshed and incompetence that ensued, Hastings central theme is that Britain, France, and Russia had no real choice but to resist German aggression in 1914. The poets are wrong perhaps - the Great War had to be fought and won regardless of the immense Human cost.

I've just seen 'Millionaire Basement Wars' on the old iPlayer and what great fun it was. This programe told the story of why in the posher parts of London - such as the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea - because strict planning restrictions mean you are no longer allowed to build up or out, the mega rich residents of these exclusive areas are now excavating huge subterranean basements to house their assorted cinema rooms, gyms and underground waterfalls - features that I think we can all agree are now essential to civilised life. Some have gone so far as to turn their property's into so called 'Iceberg Houses' - IE there is more beneath ground than on top. The problem is that all the inevitable disruption caused by this prolonged bunker building activity is sunsetting their equally wealthy neighbours no end. Schadenfreude is nothing to be proud of course, but come on, there is something intrinsically funny about seeing the wealthy and powerful having to suffer the kind of everyday crap that is normally the lot of the rest of us. Indeed, seeing the privileged upper class types such as 'Jeremy' lose their rag with a bunch of builders and grab lorry drivers who couldn't care less ... well you'd need a heart of stone not to laugh. http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b05r86yg/millionaire-basement-wars

But football is a branch of showbiz is it not? Every fan I have ever met likes to see his team win - of course they do. They also (being greedy types) want to be entertained in the process too. I think almost everyone at St Marys last Saturday were to some extent dissatisfied at half time - including Ronald Koeman by all accounts. Therefore, reflecting those feelings on here seems perfectly in order.

It didn't take long but the old Rosberg v Hamilton feud at Mercedes is back on again with Nico publicly complaining that Lewis effectively ''backed'' him into the chasing Ferrari's in China. Whether you buy that story or not, if Nico's decision to go so very 'public' with this allegation was a attempt to unsettle Hamilton then it did not seem to work because Lewis refused to bite, merely stating that it was his job to manage his own tyres rather than anybody else's. Nico on the other hand came across rather badly I thought. This season has hardly started so there is obviously a hell of a lot of racing to come. Nevertheless it seems that Lewis is well on his way to that 3rd F1 championship and his rivals are struggling to come up with ways to frustrate him.

Because the club knows/thinks that he'll never be good enough for the PL and they plan to move him on in the summer?

Apart from the very agreeable scoreline, I felt this was quite the worst game of football I've witnessed in some time - especially during that utterly turgid first half when both teams appeared to be attempting to outdo each other in their display of incompetence. My match day experience was not much improved by finding myself sat among a group fans who were either drunken louts who insisted on screaming foul language at max volume constantly (regardless of the fact that there were many children in the area) or two utter bores who did little else but witter on incessantly about their work life or holiday plans - again with the ''F'' word being employed to link every syllable. Those who like to bemoan the lack of ... eh ''atmosphere'' at modern games should understand that for many fans too much of this can be far worse than too little and the fact that you are at a football match doesn't entirely excuse you from behaving in a reasonably civilised manner. Mercifully we spotting some nearby unoccupied seats and moved down a row at half time which - coupled with a marginal improvement in the standard of play - made the second half a rather more tolerable viewing experience. I was very pleased indeed to see JWP score his first PL goal and even Pelle managed to find the back of the net for the first time since the old king died. Hallelujah! But I was most impressed by Kelvin - what a superb pro that man is.

The question is entirely academic of course, but methinks we would most likely be a somewhat better team with Adam and Sir Rickie still here - the table shows that as little as two points more would put us back above Spurs and Liverpool today. I remember being told - after he been here for about five minutes - that Tadic was a much better player than Lallana was and those who claimed that had the stats to prove it ...

The above is as blatant an example of sophistry in action as I've seen put forward on here for some time.

I'd say that if the old 'cold war' is indeed warming up again, then rather than blaming the US for some reason we might better look towards what Vladimir Putin has been doing in the Ukraine to explain this dangerous and highly unwelcome development. It goes without saying that we must act carefully here, but NATO is still vital to the defence of democracy and its smaller members - such as Latvia for example - are entitled to the same treaty provisions of ''collective defence'' as the UK, Germany or Canada are. How should NATO respond to the clear threat to the territorial and political sovereignty its eastern member states? I don't have some easy answer to this difficult question, but something tells me that a feeble display of weakness in the face of Russian aggression may prove to be just as dangerous as too strong a reaction might be. As for calls for the US to 'get out of Europe' ... well I understand the US Army now has a grand total of 26 tanks remaining fully operational on the continent. So it may not be too much of a exaggeration to say that in reality they are pretty much gone already.

To answer the question, yes it is wrong - I think - to actively support a foreigner when he is playing against your own national team. When Pelle is wearing the blue of Italy he is at that time not 'our' player and hence should not receive the support of anyone on here to purports to support their nation - unless you happen to be a Italian SFC fan that is. I also find myself out of step with the majority on here (yet again) in my instinctive reaction to Pelle's goal. While many of you lot were jumping up and down celebrating like mad things, but my first reaction was to wonder why the hell he can do that for Italy when recent performances in the red and white of SFC show that this player's ability to hit a cow's backside with a banjo is in some doubt!

I'm not very proud of it, but I will admit that I too can be quite stubborn on here when I'm in the mood - especially when it comes to issues that I feel strongly about. But I would hope that I'm also sufficiently self-aware to realise that stubbornness is not much of a virtue in a grown man. Indeed, when taken to and beyond the limit of all reason - as at least one person has on this thread - it more closely resembles a character flaw rather than anything to be very proud of. This thread, for all its obvious lowbrow entertainment value, is now many, many posts beyond the point when there was last any substantive discussion of the gun control issue. A case of more 'heat' being generated than 'light' it seems to me. So in the interests of the mental well-being of certain forum members, I think it would probably be best now if some kind mod would coming along and put this thread out of its misery. You mods do actually visit the lounge occasionally don't you?

Keep this under your hat, but in the attacking sense, our national team is now looking rather stronger than it has for many years. Whether we currently have enough defenders of the required standard to really 'do something' on the international stage for once is another question however - the Italy match should show.

Sarnia - you have just been well and truly WHOOOOOOSED!

That won't do because any hijackers would only have to hold a blade to the throat of whoever had the key and they would then have free access to the cockpit. The earlier point re why no phone messages were (apparently) sent from this aircraft's passengers is a good one.

Unconfirmed reports that one of the pilots of the downed Germanwings A320 had been locked out of the cockpit are very disturbing. Reinforced cockpit doors had been introduced as a response to 9-11, what a terrible irony it would be if that move had made this - and possibly other - air crashes more possible. I note that the names of pilots involved in this incident have not yet been disclosed - this may be significant.

Criticising new generation ''Top Gear'' for not being the traditional 'motoring magazine' style programme it once was is akin to complaining about the lack of space aliens on ''Casualty'' - IE that was not what the it was all about. This should be obvious to anyone who has seen the series is it not? I happen to think that in this age of 500 channel TV their really should be room somewhere on our screens for a series that reviews how good the the latest £9,000 hatchback is and where you might get the best chamois leather available for under a tenner, and one where 3 blokes go around the world messing about in Ferrari's etc.

Oh dear, some of you Clarkson haters are really quite vitriolic in your hatred aren't you? I should try and keep things in some kind of perspective if I was you. Nobody died. If JC did hit this producer then he had to go of course - I doubt that many will disagree with that - but I've enjoyed Top Gear over the years and I'll be sorry to see it go - if that is what happens now.

But surely that's the best time to do it #nonplussedindorset

This story proves that, unless you want to wake up with a dead horse in your bed, don't mess with the mods! A positively Stalinist exhibition of brutal totalitarian power this - I expect that as we speak that ruthless despot Steve is engaging in franticly 'air-brushing' his post history from the forum record - and he'll never get that fiver back now for sure. Our erstwhile friend could be entertaining enough on his day I suppose, and surprisingly insightful on occasion too. However, attempting to draw a analogy between some utterly trivial spat with authority on a football forum, with the genuine horror of Auschwitz, was both spectacularly dumb and not a little offensive too. I wonder if he knew what was bound to happen and committed forum 'hari-kari' to ensure that he left behind a James Dean like reputation for tragic young death and unfulfilled promise ... I know that MLG for one will be utterly distraught this weekend. So RIP Turkish - in death you became the ultimate exemplar of football forum mongnitude at its very height. I shall always remember you as ''not a little offensive'' - and who among us could possibly ask for any more than that?