notnowcato

Very sad news.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

We pay our bar bills?

Agreed, I'm sure the Brighton fans who do not see the bigger picture would have expressed doubts and criticism too. I'm also sure that when the Mancs drew with Birmingham and lost to Wolves recently, their fickle fans would have been questioning Sir Alex because obviously it's always the managers fault when a team fails to perform.

Marian Paharthclearer

I think, not certain, but BA stopped flying into Tripoli last Thursday, this should have set alarms ringing in government particularly given the recent unrest in other north African countries.

Terkish and Dune

Has he signed yet?

5 second rule. Kiss them and trouser them. The filthy things would be smothered in germs before they hit the pan anyway.

.... when NC will get his man and install Roberto Di Matteo? Even if we get promoted I can still see this happening.

Fear and Loathing

Selected Picture Huge Let Down for all Contributors to February Caption Competition. Winky smiley emoticon thingy. What do I win?

Hats off to Brighton if they continue to stay top for the rest of the season, they deserve to be champions if they complete the job. Still a long way to go yet. Overall I don't think this is a bad point.

I'd smash it, in a bad way.

Silly Deppo... the webbing between the 3 toes should have given that away.

F**King hilarious.

Sh*t situation. One poor bugger will lose his job, the other 3 get stiffed with having to cover that work too. Best of luck.

Cutting jobs does not necessarily equal efficiency savings, as seems to be the underlying current in many of the posts here. What is more likely to happen is that inefficiency will increase due to there not being enough resource.

Given that the majority of jobs highlighted in the cut out do not appear to be newly created jobs as such, you'd have to question the facts behind the figures. From personal experience the service I've received from Brighton City Council has been superb, of course that level of service is now under threat. dune - have you applied for the Access to Nature position? Would suit you.

Cuddling? Scrabble?? Cheap meat on a Thursday???

You lothario you! You could test her willingness with the tricky brown. If she wants to cuddle you after you've smashed it in off the pink you are f****d.

You do realise that all you have done is sold your debt?

Two protagonists immediately spring to mind but when it comes to the crunch there would be only one winner for me.

I would suggest a SAGA holiday but it appears that Pompey have taken over them.

You must be able to empathise with all the political prisoners held on Robben Island.