stknowle

FFS. Incredible

Sorry mate, I admit I need to go on an intense diet and exercise regime. I'll not be returning to SMS until I have so feel free to park one buttock on my seat until I do.

No meltdown here but we just lost comprehensively at home to a team that drew at home with Watford last week. It's early days but thshy fact does not necessarily point to a comfortable season ahead. Bertrand back plus a new top drawer CB and hopefully we'll look more solid but any team would struggle to replace Morgan, and his absence is the root cause of our shambolic defending today.

"have you soiled yourself as an adult?" springs to mind

If memory serves correctly we were 3 0 up with nineteen minutes left to play, AND we were at home, all of which made the loss extra-specially humiliating/embarrassing. Would be surprised if that effort has ever been "bettered" in the history of the league. MLG? Worst goal - ironically scored by Best (Derby play off semi).

I have never been on twitter and have no knowledge of Gareth as a person (though he seems like a nice boy in interviews) but the contents of this thread leaves me virtually certain that he does not "follow" Russ Watkinson either. #'Kin ell so unfair.

All pile round yours after we win the final then?

Agreed. Brilliant play from Long, perfect placement by Sadio. The fact it set a record that is sure to stand for years kinda adds something as well.

Absolutely superb way to sign off at home, back to the devastating form we were in when it all kicked off. Villa aided and abetted througout the first half but the 3rd and 6th goals were amongst the best of the season. Brilliant. Sadio has to get the MOM for the prem record hattrick but I thought Long was absolutely brilliant throughout the first half, scoring 2 and setting up 2 as well. Also I called Gazza a hopeless clown last week but today, for the first time, there looked like there may be a decent keeper in there somewhere. COYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christer Warren?

1* awful

Would prefer Forster chained to a wheelchair with no wheels over this utter non-goalie.

What a hopeless clown.

Yep. Most embarrassing thing he's done though - and the biggest pointer to some sort of mental instability caused by the pressure - was that ridiculous episode with the Palace player on the touchline after getting (totally accidentally) knocked over, taking it in good humour at first, then getting lairy and grabbing him by the throat, then calming down and letting him get up, before igniting again and refusing to let go of his arm whilst grimacing/smiling inanely.

Q. What's the definition of endless love? A. Stevie Wonder v David Blunkett at tennis

Ok, just the cold buffet for me then.

If the OP could confirm the lines of coke will actually be racked up between the bare breasts of the stippers I would wish to confirm my interest in the two tickets which remain available.

Best headed goal I can remember us scoring. Brilliant cross by Long as well. GTF IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Both of them are too weak in the tackle, especially JWP who needs a summer on the weights.

Ditto. The only one I had to take a punt on as well. F uck my luck

A good looking bloke with a massive big toe and a tiny **** pulls this gorgeous bird and takes her back to his flat. After a few wines he gets her into bed, turns the light off and they both undress. Justifiably worried his tiny old boy may leave the lady disappointed, he manoeuvres himself round in the darkness and gives her the sh@gging of her life with his gigantic big toe. A couple of days later he notices his toe is red and itchy. The problem worsens over the following week until the toe is covered in weeping scabby sores and feels like it's on fire. No amount of scrubbing and cream application will improve the problem and eventually he goes to see his GP. The doc takes a brief look at the toe, nods wisely, and says "I'm afraid you've got a bad case of VD of the toe sir. It's an unusual condition I know, but you'd be surprised at some of the ailments I've diagnosed in my time. Only this morning I had a bird in here with athlete's c.unt"

Azhaz Yebda

Agreed Yuki, and congratulations on suddenly having a full command of the English language.

Thanking you for your most respectful postings Yuki.

Some open topped concrete efforts like those Dell chocolate box things could be economically and speedilly lashed up to solve that