Wade Garrett

Forbes Phillipson Masters and Manny Andrusweski. We need big names.

Would be another £5m down the shitter.

Name me one inspiring politician in the Commons. I’m struggling to think of any.

I see your point hidden in that mound of sarcasm. We have to mix our buys between promising young players and more experienced ones who could do a job straightaway. Much like Big Lawrie’s dealings.

I agree, he was absolute garbage.

Thought Forster did well last season. Looks to have improved, especially coming off his line. He is definitely first team keeper for me. McCarthy has gone backwards.

Don’t worry. I’ve heard Perraud has had I Hate Pompey tattooed across his forehead.

As good as he is, £30m is too good to turn down for a player who routinely misses large parts of the season through injury. Caveat being the money is invested in a couple of players who will walk into the first team.

Didn’t realise he was English.

Saw Harry Kane going into Primark today. He went into Sports Direct afterwards and then WestQuay. Make of that what you will.

Grealish is quality and was criminally underused by Southgate in the Euros.

I would rather sign Tomkins. Quality.

Great player a few years ago, has lost his way but is still young enough to come back to form with the right club and coaching.

But the time you take agents fees and wages out of that £50m you could probably buy Carlton Palmer.

Watching a different game to me if you think Redmond is a consistent 6.

Have we said he isn’t for sale?

Yes

Van Dijk home to Leicester. Wanker.

We were shocking at the back last season. Good that we’ve got a left-back, hopefully an improvement on last season. Salisu has to be a starter in the centre and needs an experienced player alongside him. Sell Vest and reinvest for his replacement. If Ings won’t sign a new contract then sell him. I couldn’t give a monkey’s where he goes, we just need a good price to reinvest in a replacement. The lad banging them in for Celtic would be decent. Armstrong from Blackburn has a few goals in him. Would be good to get him in and offload fringe players like Obademi and Redmond.

He’s quality. Can play in a number of positions and is hard as nails. Can’t believe Man U will let him go. He’s a colossus. A giant at the back. And he’s free.

Would be a good deal.

Until anyone bids for him there is no decision to make.

With the associated wages, agents fee etc that we’re always being told about, I’m reliably informed that the Lemina money will be spent on a new washing machine for the kit man and some training bibs.

Good riddance. Complete wanker.

Where did I say that?