Wade Garrett

His effort today was a disgrace. If he doesn't want to be here it would be better all round if he went.

Hammond and Schneiderlin were absolute gash in the midfield. We definitely missed Chaplow. Neither of them were demanding the ball and were both ineffective. Lambert's effort today was disgraceful. On one occasion he found himself offside when it took him about 20 seconds to bother himself to get from the edge of their box to the halfway line. He should be dropped, he really needs a kick up the arse. We definitely need to sign a central midfield player and another forward. Adkins disappointed me today as well. The late substitution was ineffective, as was putting AOC up front and pumping high balls in to him.

Another conspiracy theory (and I'm not rubbishing yours), is that he has been refused bail so that our country can protect him against assassination. Just another way of looking at it, although I am pretty sure that your scenario is a lot nearer the truth. It's depressing isn't it.

It doesn't sound good Hatch. Prepare yourself for life without your penis, as it is about to drop off. Classic symptoms. Happened to my dad a year before I was born.

I remember an outburst from one of the teachers at assembly about it, and the fact that a 5 year old had been left fatherless because of some nutter in America. The fact that it was 30 years ago makes me feel old.

Anyone else think he's got a bit of the George Dubya about him?

Great post. Sums up my feelings completely.

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I drive a crane and I could fix that tumble dryer. I am not as well versed as you in the old 'it'll cost you' patter though.

What do I know!

Also the Liebherr family saying they will honour Markus' wishes. This sounds like a wind-up from a skate journo, or he is being fed the story by a skate. It doesn't add up to me.

Thank you for explaining the reasoning behind commenting again. Perhaps your next post could be to explain the reasoning behind posting the reasoning behind again commenting on not worth commenting until the work actually starts.

I'd rather sign Jack Hargreaves. Out of Town was TV gold.

They've still got North and Haddon.

Not worth commenting again on commenting on until work actually starts.

I don't look great and my personality is sh*t.

I did, but thanks for the advice anyway.

It should stop just before Christmas, and start again on the FA Cup 3rd round weekend. Footballers are normal just like us and should be able to celebrate Christmas and the New Year with their families, or their favourite prostitutes.

I was refused a doctor's appointment once because I wouldn't tell the receptionist what was wrong with me. Nosey bastard - is she a qualified medical professional? - no. Has she signed the hypocratic oath? - no. The doctor's were crap there anyway, on one occasion the GP kept looking things up in a book, and on another a different GP didn't look up from her computer through nearly the entire appointment. (I'm not a hypochondriac, on average I have less than 1 appointment a year). I changed surgeries.

We have Cowell to thank for a lot of the boyband culture and general crap that is popular today. Would love another Sex Pistols to come through right now and smash all this talentless manufactured rubbish to bits.

That's what they said about Keegan and Shilton signing for us.

Cool as f*ck. The thought of smoking makes me feel physically sick, I've never even had a drag. I have to resort to masturbation to pump my creative pistons.

I hope you put on your hobnail boots and broke the Guinness Book of World Records for number 1 c*nt kickerer in.

Why don't we go for Bridge as well. He's made his money, and could come back down here and help us out. I hear Rooney's a bit unhappy as well, he's made his money. He could come down here and help us out. I'm sure we could get all these players, as it's such a nice place to live and quite near the Forest. For Rooney, there is the added bonus of the world famous Derby Road, for a bit of slap and tickle with a diseased ming*r whenever it takes his fancy.

I'm a parent and I'm not soft. I beat f*ck out of my missus last night because my dinner wasn't on the table at 6pm. Hard as f*ck.