benjii

Think she took a blow to the twat a minute ago.

Solid fisting from the keeper.

No chance there's half a million people in that stadium.

Being a sporty lesbian must be great.

Greasy fuckers.

Finally getting stuck in.

Guly has a clause in his contract.

Delighted fot that Russo lass. She plays like a bloke. Good girl.

Spare rib ticklers all over the place.

Exactly!

Everyone is such a pussy in the tackle. Make me manager of Nigeria or Jamaica's lady team and I'd win the World Cup. We'd smash this lot off the pitch.

OK, so first time I've properly watched a lady match. Touch and passing is nice and decent quality, but the defending is so passive. No gets stuck in. There's hardly been a tackle all match. Fuck em up, get into em! Spain are very neat and tidy, but they are just women, so it's still going to take them an age to get it into the goal so I don't see why we can't take formational risks. I'd get another striker on. Our striker, Russo, looks like a good player so I'd go for more of a an attacking 442 and sacrifice a CM for another forward.

4th official looks quite cute.

Just tried it. It's Stuart Hall and Big Ron. Cracking stuff.

I did. He has a nice commentator voice. Slightly worried he might be a motormouth though. Early days.

"How do Spain like their pasta cooked?" - "Caldentey" Thank you, I'm here all week.

Don't know who that is but I'll give it a go.

Why isn't there a token bloke commentator? No one wants to listen to two shrill voices all match.

Terrible defending. Piss weak from the left back and everyone ball watching in the middle.

Our left winger is fucking gash.

Spain coach thinking he's cool with a top-knot 🤣

Interesting to get the sports science angle, thanks.

Hmm.... based on the line ups, I'd say it's 1-0 to the string quartet.

Tuning in to my first Ladies' match now. Hoping for some entertainment! Who should I be looking out for? Any big players for England and Spain? And which ones are left luggage handlers? Thanks!

The thing is.... they were never a particularly interesting live band. Just stand there and do the songs with hardly any movement.