scotty

Ok, so I text someone asking for a prediction ahead of the game. He says "5 - 0 city". I reply "4 - 2 city". He replies, saying "We wont score". I ask if he'd like to put a pint on that, he says yeh go on then... Now, I reckon as we scored twice, he owes me two pints. Some input from the SWF regulars would be appreciated, I've got a £2:75 pint of stowford riding on this.

Now you mention it, I think it was.

Rod Liddle made a monumental tw*t of himself years ago, when he ditched his mrs in favour of a younger model who he frankly looked ridiculous with. When he wrote an "oh, what a lad I am" type article for GQ, lamenting his liaison with said bird and begging his mrs to forgive all, his ex-wife wrote her own lengthy and detailed letter to GQ's letters page. And they printed it, verbatim. What a c*nt he looked. That was the verbal equivalent of a 30-stone rugby player's kick in the bo!!ocks. Liddle came out of it looking like the utter tw*t he is, and you couldn't blame his ex for sticking the boot in. Grade-A pillock.

ssshhhh. Next thing you know, Wenger will be prowling round St Marys like a docker after closing time...

Terrific performance. I feel better about the season now, if we can play like that against the best team in the country we have nothing to fear from the rest of it.

Scratch that. The bastard was having me on, its a gay bar/hotel. I just hope nobody on here followed that "advice".....

Ive checked google, but cant see any reference to roy keane managing Crawley?

Just asked a mate in mancland, he said try the New Union. He reckons its good, and he is a seasoned drinker.

Is it just me, or does he look quite chuffed?? Nice one Barney!! Top work that man.

Well, at least after todays games we know what we have to do now. Beat citeh by 6 and we're top.

Whats a few million between friends? Its only money. I wonder how much Messi would cost.

Your liver isn't gonna like that.

Despite all the potential pitfalls, and the safeguards that would need to be put in place, it is a national disgrace that we don't have the option of painless euthanasia in this country.

Good thinking. Call Berlusconi, he's probably got a few phone numbers....

It wont be any more tw*ttish than usual. Maybe a touch of paranoia blended into his normal "bemused yokel" look.

This is Muppet Show stuff. A mod ought to put a stop to it, never one around when you need one....

I'm obviously hoping we manage to get something from the game, but can't say I expect us to. Defending champions, first game of the season, I can see this being 4 or 5.

Ask the rockers.

Its the crap joke thread. They're meant to be bad.

Be very careful indeed when paying your bill in Zen. Just saying. Incidentally, nobody's mentioned it yet, but having Tadanari Lee back to full fitness will be just like making a new signing. (imho.)

I notice this thread died out shortly after lunch hour.

I suspect it'll be more like the Freemasons. Better roll up your trousis, get the apron on and practice the funny handshake.

Christ, I thought I'd met a few birds who had, how shall I put this, errm plenty of room up there.....but I never heard of one that could fit in a 42 inch telly.

Well, stop rabbiting and get on with dishing out the infractions then. ffs