shurlock

It wasn't even on sky pal. He's playing with you.

Nope, still as transparently bad a troll as ever. Don't quit your day job, little fella.

I've received separate PMs from yuki and aziz yebda both confirming its a done deal.

That's the spirit Brett.

The forum's been crying out for a decent parody account from an overseas supporter. With neither the wit of a beijing casual nor the cunning to create an internally consistent watertight backstory, little ekon failed to rise to the occasion. And to think: it all started so promisingly. Setting up a twitter account was an intriguing, leftfield gambit, though, in hindsight, the little fella should have probably seeded the account for a few months before joining the forum - not to mention avoid talking about this place literally with his first tweet. Alas the result has been bang average. Like the bad remake of a classic movie, more than anything, though, I feel disappointed about what might have been and even more disappointed that it will be months, if not years now till memories have faded and someone hopefully more capable than this helmet can have another crack at things. Mess.

Who? Brett from Cameroon?

Never underestimate a rat's ability to bite, claw and hang onto dear life.

We've got a mongboarder digitally blacking himself up, pretending to be Kenyan, having selected himself a Nigerian name. #firstworldproblems

Good lad.

Try getting your backstory straight first sunshine before playing ITK. A baby gazelle learns to walk before it can run.

No, your name okereke pal. My meaning was as clear as a savannah sky.

Um Bungo

Is that your real name pal - sure you're not from Nigeria instead? Ticks for getting the continent right, though

Like others, MLT's winner against Arsenal. Remember buzzing for the next 24hrs and absolutely destroying an exam I had the following day. Only thing now that still makes me spontaneously teary-eyed.

JJ makes Dalek look prophetic.

We also lost Juanmi and Pelle that summer (yes some will bleat about Austin being Pelle's replacement). It's debatable whether Lallana brought us Tadic or Mane: with Jrod's injury, Gaston's flop, the departure of Punch, we were already playing catch up and addressing old weaknesses in the squad. Remember we finished the 2013/14 season with only two attackers: Lambert and Lallana. That's why Sam Gallagher, of all people, was thrown into the mix and Jack Cork was actually played in the hole (Everton, h). If you think we did buy two new players with the Lallana money, then that's tentative proof of the approach's success.

Not necessarily. It depends what type of player you're targeting: remember we've been after young players with potential and plenty of upside, not loads of journeymen as we did in 2005. Some of these signings will work out; some inevitably won't. That's why businesses adopt a safety-in-numbers portfolio approach to high-risk, high-reward investments. I suggest anyone who believes you can repeatedly replace proven players with young prospects on a 1:1 basis has been hoodwinked by the club's hype and horse****. If you don't like the alternative, as Verlaine1979 points out, then I suggest that our business model really isn't for you and you'd prefer another approach to player recruitment -e.g. sprinkling the side with older, more experienced players with more pedigree, ideally in the PL. The summer transfer window will be an immediate litmus test of whether we've learnt any lessons in this respect.

Well technically one was a replacement for Juanmi. Question is whether we would have been worse off with just one of those players. Arguably yes, though difficult to say how much given Boufal's minimal contribution.

£32m for Benteke ain't bad given it was nearly two years ago - who knows what that would be in today's terms.

Exactly.

Why the f**k do I have to go to the most polluted country on the planet at the height of summer for preseason just so that these clowns can win a few more contracts building football pitches for bent local officials?

Schneiderlin too.

Southampton as a club isn’t going to grow in China. We’ve got more chance of qualifying for the CL than growing a real fanbase out there. Man City have had real trouble growing their fanbase in China despite winning the league and attracting Chinese investment. The popular get more popular - local culture and history have no place in the expansion of soccerball.

Don't know. They are pretty pragmatic in their business dealings, especially when it comes to how they behave and are viewed overseas. At least early doors. They won't be indifferent to the fact that owning a football club isn't business as usual. Suspect the real issue with Gao is his age and the fact he's not particularly well-travelled. Looking at his blog, I didn't get the impression of someone who's intensely private. Suspect we'd see a very different side to him if went out to China for preseason.

On setting up a minor league team: http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/sport/16230056.Gao_plans_overseas_investment/?ref=mr&lp=4