rallyboy

When did they get Brexit over the line? That's just another of those half-finished, oven-ready projects that Boris kept promising but failed to complete.

This morning she's been trying out some new experimental material at small regional gigs, it's been like Kate Bush, but madder. Awkward silences, scripted nonsense, baffling explanations, plain made-up shit, and more pauses. The last time we saw this many car crashes in such a small space of time was when World of Sport brought us a demolition derby double bill from Ipswich. We're gonna need more popcorn.

Children hiding in the playground during the lunch break because their working parents earn more than £150 a week so they don't qualify for free school meals. Other kids pretending to eat out of empty lunchboxes because they're embarrassed that they have no food. As a country, what the fuck have we become?

When you have hedge fund mates playing the market and shorting the pound benefits you personally, the Chancellor is playing a blinder. He and Jacob Rees Mogg must be very happy this morning.

Scoring 300 in the 2nd innings makes it even worse - to chuck away the whole season in that one mad hour is criminal. Let's remember 2022 for the T20 instead.

The Villa game did remind me of Puelball, and not in a nice way. No forward momentum, no threat, no point, no fun to watch. I can take the odd 3-2 defeat if it's entertaining, but that run of 0-0 Claude draws and 1-0 gutless defeats was great for defensive coaches and bloody terrible for everyone else. For me, Ralph hasn't become consistently that dull yet, but he clearly needs to demonstrate progress and deliver points in the next couple of games.

We hold all the cards, it'll be the easiest deal in history... And If you're still defending all the drivel that you were spoon-fed in return for your vote, you should never be allowed near a polling station again.

Pellegrino is one of the worst cases in history of a manager being given too long - he was too nice to be sacked and he should have gone much earlier. Whenever clubs in trouble talk about giving someone more time, there is a limit. A big win in the next match and we'll assume everything is cool again - in reality Ralph probably needs to string eight or ten good games together to convince anyone.

Turning a blind eye to corruption, repeating pub rumours as facts, occupying two parking spaces with one car, training cats to shit in neighbours' gardens...the UK leads the world in many things.

Indeed, I'm sure there's no way that this government will allow rich people to get richer before they address helping those in poverty, remember how those PPE contracts were all given to poorer towns with established companies. Even the energy support is very-much geared to help the less well-off, this is a caring cabinet that focusses on levelling up - multi-millionaires had better watch out!

I'm sure you're aware of ownership laws and your responsibility to politely return it to the owners of the cat? If you don't know which one it was, anyone who owns a cat nearby qualifies, if they don't have a letterbox, where they walk by their car is good.

Her passing seems to have inspired some non-writers to create what they like to call poetry. I think we've suffered enough without that.

Not sure that the postponement was required, but on a selfish level, get our key players fit, the new players settled in, and play Brentford once their form has dropped off...works for me.

Diversity? - What, millionaires from a variety of public schools? Yes, one of them even bought milk once. Well, actually, they bought a dairy farm - but they know all about life in the UK and can definitely come up with good ideas to help poor people. Stuff like, take on yet another job, or turn the heating down a bit...yes, this diverse cabinet really understands life beyond their own worlds.

Jacob Rees-Mogg stated very clearly that a change of PM demands an election. He also said that he wouldn't serve under another PM. He's a toxic cartoon character who is full of shit, and anyone who believes him on anything should DM me, because I have magic beans to sell them. In fact anyone who believes a quarter of what's coming out of no.10 at the moment should get down to The Bean Barn asap. The stocks are running low due to the war, the woke, leftie lawyers and immigrants - so, last chance to buy magic beans, cash only, sold as seen.

With the BBC fact-checking the old Eton crook's mad farewell speech and finding that every single claim is inaccurate, we can finally confirm that he's not played a blinder. He's just been a very toxic, corrupt and deluded PM who has damaged the UK, lined his own pockets, was outwitted by his own cabal of idiots and finally replaced by someone who doesn't understand that drones are not frightened by dogs.

Funniest part of this was the Radio Solent newsreader trying to pronounce Besiktas....then Fenerbahce, and finally Galatasaray - in quick succession. At the next news they'll just say he's off to Turkey.

With the departures of Dorries and Patel the UK is less toxic and a nicer place this morning. They both leave with records of abject failure and any other version of events is just desperate spin. It's a good day for the UK.

It's a Poundland Boris dressed up as Thatcher. Short on ideas, over-promoted, surrounded by lazy simpletons - it's going to be hilarious! Just don't get poor, old, or in need of the NHS, the police, or schools, and you'll be fine.

There's nothing wrong with VAR, it's just currently being operated by people who aren't very good at their jobs. At the Euros it was quick, and in the main accurate. We're constantly told that we plucky Brits lead the world in every field of human endeavour, but in reality, on refereeing standards?...we're halfway down League One.

Personally I think Bednarek has shit all over his own room with that comment, unwise to go out of your way to slag off Saints when you just go on loan - I'm pleased to be at Villa would have been fine. Whatever positive legacy he did have is gone, and he needs to move away permanently asap, as I can't imagine anyone wanting him back. Hopefully he goes straight into their back four tomorrow and marks Haaland - they will then discover how good he really is.

If the kettle doesn't work we can always use the Truss suggestion for keeping drugs out of prisons - employ barking dogs to scare off drones... If that's the level we're at, the next few months could be a very expensive and damaging comedy car crash that might even make the Johnson era look like a roaring success.

Last night they drew 5-6 on penalties apparently. Because the actual game was a draw and they came a plucky second in the penalties which decides the bonus points, that makes the whole evening a draw, according to the few, so they may be firing up the bus... And did anyone else notice that Norris, the guy who scored the dramatic season-changing equaliser at SMS, is now selling shirts due to 'lack of space and a costly divorce', so there may be some bargains to be had at a car boot sale near you.

How did we move directly from a fantastic win at St Marys, to debating whether Mark Hughes was the messiah?.... If you can't celebrate these moments, perhaps football isn't for you. We won, Ralph made it happen, it was exciting, we deserved to win, it was great!

I wonder what would happen at Old Trafford if a visiting player juggled the ball with his arms, then slapped it away with his hand?