rallyboy

Toby left a club that lives in the shadow of its neighbour, and joined Spurs. The end.

Everyone has spent their £13m in the town before they get into the fortress of fat.

But still no reference to the crime of running a British football club on stolen funds or an enquiry into it by football authorities....They've swept so much sh!t under that carpet it must look like the Andes by now. Re season tickets, I checked how much you get for your money. One adult plus two kids can total £400 for the season. They have the gate numbers, but not the income - it's all about selling cheap to aid summer cashflow but results in very little in matchday sales. The perfect business model is to sell less up front, deliver on the pitch and sell out at top dollar - that scenario would deliver maybe three times as much money as their current model. And Sue, I don't know what's wrong with your mind, I was just highlighting how he bought younger players.

Are Madrid getting their legal advice off Google? Perhaps Spurs are innocent parties here who are being sold something by people who don't technically own it.

Uncle Avram splashed out on a couple of youngsters....

If Madrid can ignore a contract after a deal can we give Spurs the money back for Bale and say we've changed our minds and he belongs to us?

If our paperwork is correct Spurs are negotiating with a club that doesn't own him. They need to buy him from us. £25m. Sadly, probably not that simple - but it's good to have a dream.

Big page number - 2067. The next time we'll play them.

oh no, don't start posting Ho's finest moments, those are right up there with the statue and Penny emptying Hilsea Lido in one go.... In fact I think we should put a list of Ho's quotes up on Itchen Bridge. If you are at a dark point in your life, his story about the council giving pompey land to sell to Tesco for £20m would definitely cheer you up. Just as the statue of Milan Krankie looking up at the bridge kept people from jumping all those years ago.

In all fairness Mero the thread had sat quietly for a couple of days - until you banged it up the top again. Please send the Ho over, we miss his ITK takeover teasers, his transfer rumours and of course his take on how the worlds of banking and finance operate.

Nice one. Just because people don't comment doesn't mean they didn't chuckle! That's what I tell myself most days anyway.

Let's look for a positive - if Toby chooses us over Spurs he'll be an instant hero, an icon of the two-fingered salute to north London yobs and as such should go directly onto the banner - and if he doesn't, Madrid will be paying us compensation, but it'll be coming straight out of Levy's pocket and going into ours.

I was in Italy once and saw a match on the TV where the ref gave four dodgy penalties....you have to think that no ref is that bad. The only time I've discussed it with a sportsman was when an international batsman told me how he thought he was playing brilliantly in a one day match and scored a century, but years later that very game was investigated and on reflection he realised that the opposition spent the whole innings bowling short to his strength on the offside - with not a single fielder on that boundary.

Awkward question of the month - Hey Penny, do you think the British taxpayer, the hardworking voters of Portsmouth, and the rest of Europe, should have to pick up the bill for a country like Greece that habitually borrows money it can never repay, enjoys spending way beyond its means and clearly has no intention of paying off debt?

Let's go a bit drastic on this one - young players are getting tired?... They are professional athletes, their careers are short. How about they look after their bodies and then when they retire they can then lie in the street so drunk they wet themselves or stay up all night before a match? Zero tolerance on night life shenanigans for pro athletes - or do the nights out, but play 50 games a season without moaning or a drop in form. And for the people who say, they need to let their hair down. Yeah, but you don't have to have your stomach pumped, get involved in a fight or charged with a sex offence to relax. If you want to be a sportsman, behave like one, if you want to party every night, go work in Tesco and benefit from cheap cider at staff prices. Then you can also live the footballer lifestyle by ****ging slappers behind the bins between shifts.

Mack isn't big into myths - in relative terms, and I'm not talking sisters, he's the lone voice of reason down east. He thinks they only make £10m each home game.

A former Pompey favourite has joined condemnation of the terrorist massacre in Tunisia that left 39 people dead. Jed Wallace is one of thousands who have taken to Twitter to express shock and outrage at the atrocity. And the lid is finally nailed down on the coffin of local papers.

Did make me chuckle!

No, he gave them the elbow.

This new signing Barton is a bit of a maverick, he's a loose cannon, he's already gone off template. No massive club, no reference to fans, no mention of the fence around the training ground or even the most recognisable sporting arena entrance in the world. He might struggle to fit in unless he gets with the programme. Though I see he has the standard two year deal and was lured not by money, but by the opportunity.

You need to be able to stand in the middle of the goal, on the line looking at the penalty spot, and be able to see both posts without moving either eye - and you need to have at least twice as many digits as teeth, even after they have been downgraded from CVA1. A knowledge of jockey wheels, horse brass, homemade tats and lucky heather also helps, while a penchant for being easily-led into believing any old sh1t you are fed via short paragraphs would assist. Somewhat.

Without wanting to sound too happy-clappy, the club must be really looking after these young players if their heads are not turned by more glamorous offers, and the youngsters themselves appear slightly wiser when it comes to career-planning than one or two of our more experienced current and former players. Top marks all round.* *As long as nothing changes between now and Feb.

Interesting to note that Italy also says just clear your football debts and everyone else can do one. Is this rolled down from FIFA? It's one of the less savoury aspects of financial debacles when every other business/charity and even the taxman are all shunted to the back of the queue behind the players, who have often contributed much to the club's demise. I can understand that other clubs shouldn't suffer, you'd think there might be enough money sloshing about for a fund that would cover that rare eventuality. Or has it all been spent on Jack Warner's moat?

I see that 33% asked for longer paragraphs while the other 72% requested clarification of the figures.

The great pompey survey....the thoughts and wishes of the most passionate 461 fans in world sport.