Master Bates

LEON Crouch has revealed his masterplan for Saints to satisfy the bank manager in 2008/09 contained the first team squad being based mainly around the club’s academy and reserve players. http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/sport/saints/news/3948085.Crouch_planned_to_back_Saints__academy/

To the tune of 'Winter Wonderland' Lacy things -- the wife is missin', Didn't ask -- her permission, I'm wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear. In the store -- there's a teddy, Little straps -- like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear. In the office there's a guy named Melvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!" "Let's wait until our wives are out of town!" Later on, if you wanna, We can dress -- like Madonna, Put on some eyeshade, And join the parade, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear! Lacy things... missin', Didn't ask... permission, Wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear. Walkin' 'round in women's underwear, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

Um, you're not really allowed to move the seats about, I think it's against ground regulations, plus they're screwed on anyways, aren't they?

Spot on Want me to pm you a picture of the Queen's snatch?

Want me to pm you her snatch?

Didn't realise she had cellulite, i'd still do her.

I'm off work, can I come?

We'll abdicate you in a minute, as they say, out with the old and all that

Yeah horror sounds good.

Hey, you can wrap it up and give it to me for xmas for the favours I do, true story.

Rip

A PERVERT has been jailed for having sex for second time with the same HORSE. Leeroy Le Gallais, 46, was on probation for molesting gelding Calico last year. Then he was caught after leaving his underpants in the stable. But the drunken weirdo returned and committed further indecencies with the same horse, a court in Guernsey heard. Calico’s owner found a mounting stool next to the animal the next morning. Calico was also “box walking” — moving sideways — a sign of stress. Le Gallais said he meant to go home but went and “played around” with Calico. He admitted having sex with a horse and was jailed for three years.

List your favourite christmas films: Black Christmas (2006) Santa's Slay Black Christmas (1974) Friday After Next Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys The Nightmare Before Christmas Ernest Saves Christmas Elf

Wide from Prince Phillip, but then I guess that's what happens when a German marries a Greek.

Her foo foo's like a cat flap.

I like the Queen. Life expectancy is so poor in Pompey that if you reach 100 you don't get a telegram, instead the Queen knocks on the door and does a handstand with a sparkler up her ar5e.

December 12th

Plastic Saint

+1.

Wow, we can get 2 free seats!!!!!

Taking a group of people.

Some stupid old bint spent £3000 on it

A brick made of poo?

FORMER SAINTS chairman Leon Crouch has hit back at criticisms from the men who replaced him in power. http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/sport/saints/news/3944399.Stakes_upped_by_Crouch_in_Saints_blame_game/ FORMER Saints chairman Leon Crouch insists the only way the club can ever prosper again is to attract new investment. http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/sport/saints/news/3944398.Crouch__Outside_investment_is_only_way/ LEON Crouch is calling on the thousands of stayaway Saints fans to return – and help ensure supporters aren’t blamed for any more player sales next month. http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/sport/saints/news/3944401.Ex_chairman_calls_for_stayaway_fans_to_back_young_guns/