Lighthouse

I don't think anyone has seen him as anything other than substandard for two years now.

I’d say it was a combination of Jones, Selles and too many signings beings duds. If Aribo, Mara, Edozie, DCC, Orsic, Paul, Baz, Sully and AMN hadn’t ALL been crap we might have been okay.

We scored early in the 1-6 against Liverpool under Koeman. All part of the game plan.

Sub optimal.

I went along for the first half but had to leave before we got to bat. A miserable, cold, damp breezy day to be out watching cricket. Was pleased to see big Keith play, he didn’t disappoint.

You know when a local convenience store has a bunch of leftover stock they’re trying to shift and they start coming up with special offers, like four egg custards, BBQ lighters and a Da Vinci Code DVD for £10. That’s what this team reminds me of.

Good move for all parties IMO. Assuming he recovers well, Tino will be a top player one day and a good long term replacement for Trippier. We’ll make probably £20m profit on a very low risk/outlay and lose the risk of his injuries being a recurring problem. Plus we didn’t need three RBS anyway.

Tesco doughnuts only coming in packets of five. I want one for this morning and one for this afternoon as an occasional treat, not a diabetic coma.

I thought he was busy playing the violin with Beelzebub?

I doubt Liverpool are particularly bothered about him not being available in the League Cup. Having said that, I doubt Lavia will play tomorrow either, so it’s a moot point.

Ings went for £30m and he was 30, in the last year of his deal and had serious fitness issues. Daka and Scamacca were both over £30m and completely unproven at this level (and ended up being flops). Kalvin Phillips was £45m, he’s better than JWP overall but really £35m is the absolute minimum I’d be considering.

Like I said, we wouldn’t be buying him because we wouldn’t be able to afford him. Lots of good players have been relegated, nobody out there believes we went down because of JWP and he has a good five years left, minimum playing at that level. £25m today would buy Elyounoussi or Sully. JWP is clearly a level above that.

Relegated means nothing if you’re financially stable, as we are and 28 is usually just hitting the peak of the average playing career. We wouldn’t be buying proven, fit, English players in the prime of their career because we wouldn’t be able to afford them at all.

Lazy prick lying around in bed.

You misspelled ‘straw-man’.

Has Callum Doyle’s mum ever been to Denmark?

That’s not how the Puel season started at all, we were slow and ponderous right from the first game and very rarely troubled the opposition goal from open play.

Lavia didn't play, so he's scarecely a loss on what we've seen so far. The WP brothers will be a miss, if they both leave, but then there are other areas we may well strengthen so you'd hope it'll even out. Having worse than those two but better than Edozie/AA wouldn't be the end of the world.

Still West Brom ten years ago I believe. Nine of the last twelve opening games away from home too, including the last five consecutive.

2017 League Cup winners? When was the last time a Lampard vs Germany or David Silva in 2014 wasn't corrected by VAR? We still have contentious decisions, just not howlers. Weird, these guys look sort of happy, in a match with VAR. Shouldn't they be standing, waiting patiently and emotionless for a VAR check?

It’s fine. Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with it at all, just like all the other ‘fine’ sports programmes, Vlogs, radio shows and podcasts. There’s just nothing about it which makes me want to tune in and more often than not I forget it’s on.

With the departure of Kammy and Jeff, the final crumbs of entertainment have been swept away. When it was Jeff, Tiss, Thomo, Merse, Kammyand Charlie it was nigh on unmissable TV for me. Now it’s just another bland, generic panel show, unironically pretending to be diverse.

They must have CGI’d in all these immediate goal celebrations last season then.

I never knew bulldogs had square holes or enjoyed pegging.

How long until someone says, “we don’t need VAR, we just need refs to do their job FFS!” As if they never saw this coming.