Lighthouse

He does love a bit of claret doesn’t he. Summer 2024, he’ll be off to Scunthorpe.

Wood signs for Saints!

Pathway? When you only need to be better than Adams, Armstrong or Mara to get on the pitch, it’s less of a pathway and more of a heated, indoor moving walkway like they have in airports, with a pop up Costa halfway along and a personal valet to carry your suitcase. We could sign Haaland and still have more than enough opportunities for Ballard and Morgan.

They’re level with us on points after exactly half the season and finished last season with one win in nine games, so what exactly constitutes a ‘run’ in your eyes? FWIW I do believe that both they and Everton are more likely to stay up than saints, via a sudden 11 points in five games out of nowhere in April. Actually I have to admire West Ham for regularly being as s**t as we are, whilst spending twice as much money.

He might score 4-6 goals if he can stay fit, that’s still a massive gamble. Villa have already given him a contract well beyond anything we were able to offer, which we’d have to match or better for him to come here. He’ll be 31 in summer, if he has fitness issues and big wages we’ll struggle to shift him. Why would he agree to that when he’s earning top whack at Villa? We’re bottom of the league, relegation is more likely than not, why would you sign up to a probable massive pay cut in six months, for no reason?

His wages will be sizeable and he’ll only come here if we can give him a decent contract. If he comes here, doesn’t do much and we go down, he could become something of a financial burden which we may struggle to offload.

I don't think anyone is writing him off as such but after some of the players we've signed, particularly up front, you can forgive people for being sceptical of a player who has two league goals this season.

Not exactly guff, he was unfit for two of the three seasons he played here. Granted he had the season of his life in the middle but I wouldn’t bet on that being the one he replicates again my time soon.

I’m not entirely sure you know what a hipster is.

I would have to agree with that. We’re going to need someone better than ‘not wanted at Villa’ to get us out of this mess, particularly with his fitness record.

Chelsea on New Year’s Day?

This thread reminds me of one of my favourite Karl Pilkington quotes; "I can't buy my girlfriend flowers, she gets suspicious and wants to know why I've bought them. If she came home and I'd built that (the Taj Mahal) she'd be like, "right, what is going on!?""

I'll go and grab one of those "Dial X for horny grandmas" stickers from the nearest phone box and post that. Incidentally, whilst we're doing typographical errors, it turns out 'ligh' is an old Celtic word meaning to lick.

Actually he probably wishes Lavia hadn’t been injured for the majority of the season, meaning he had to do much more defensive work covering for the inadequacies of AMN and Diallo. All but 8 minutes of JWP’s England career have come under ‘the cult of Ralph’ so I doubt he holds that much resentment towards him.

Nice to see him finding a new career, after Steps.

Just need to win at Arsenal now and the hoodoo is broken.

F5 F5 F5 F5

I like it.

Its just a shame about that ancient scripture in Jerusalem, which says that Southampton shalt not win at Goodison.

3-0, Pahars. No way Leeds are coming back from this.

He was no Eljero Elia.

TBF I’d drive quicker if people were firing mortars at me too.

It looks like a few fans might be planning a protest, there’re just a few details that need ironing out first.

3.5 games out of 21 missed, I make that around £1.8m down the toilet. Small change for Chelsea but still funny whilst they’re floundering in mid-table.

How far back are we going? Mary Queen of Scots was pure filth, I’ve heard. VAR check on that, Turkish brought up Maj first and followed it up with Nigella. Not disapproving, just saying.