Lighthouse

After 7 games, we're currently 12th after a tough set of opening fixtures and you're talking about last chances and must win games?

You're joking right?I know hating the Tories is your thing but Britain is almost certainly in the 20 least corrupt nations on Earth.

And there’s probably a good reason that’s the case. We will see more of the new lads with time. Liv and Lav are injured and apparently Aribo hasn’t been fully fit this week either. We’re going to have to be patient, like it or not.

Or, it's a matter of time before they start looking like a decent Premier League team. This many new players don't just click instantly in every game. There will be Chelsea games and Villa games along the way.

Good bye, everyone.

Sky History 2 are showing Paranormal: Caught on Camera, featuring a possible Sasquatch sighting in Siberia. You have five minutes Saints, don’t make me do it.

WTF did Prowse think he was passing to there?

Great run by Larios and the f**king Moi gets hold of it.

Sitting incredibly deep, 11 men in the box for corners and our out ball seems to be Moi running through treacle into two defenders.

Not thrilled but not upset either, so fair enough, with five subs he can generously be described as 'an option'. TBH I feel better about it now that: 1) We've added Fandab and Aribo in the AM positions. 2) Redmond has left and Moi, Walcott and Tella may well follow next summer.

It’s hard to tell his age from distance and with a headdress but if he is some 70+ year old who’s given his country decades of service, I can forgive him for not marching properly over a prolonged period.

You can't have a funeral without McNuggets. It's what she would have wanted.

The whole country goes mad in times of grief, the Centre Parcs and NHS stuff is ludicrous. Which cretin thought chucking people out of their accommodation right in the middle of their holiday was in any way a sane idea or respectful to the Queen? Cancelling the football I get; I don't agree with it but I do get the principle of suspending things which are fun out of respect for the monarch passing. Other stuff, like the met office suspending updates out of, "respect," is just bat sh*t. As if knowing there's going to be 63% humidity this afternoon is some sort of joyous celebration.

As my dear late grandma used to say, "if you can’t say anything nice to someone, chuck a frag. Grenade in there."

I don’t get it either. He’s the quite obvious choice to replace Lavia in the short term.

Want to be my VAR against the Dog and Parrot this weekend?

We mustn’t underestimate Russia, they haven’t all given up fighting.

Motorway service stations. Being able to pull in and have a p*ss for free, then choose between any four from McDonald’s, BK, Pizza Express, KFC, Road Chef, M&S, Smiths, Waitrose, Starbucks or Costa is absolute paradise compared to anything I’ve seen on the continent. Usually €0.50 in a machine which only takes loose change, not card, followed by a p*ss into a urinal which is hanging off the wall and leaking everywhere. Then onto the food court, which normally just involves a choice of 5 different stale, dried out chicken sandwiches from a vending machine in a Relay.

I call dibs on the slightly card happy, narcissistic referee.

Protestors at the Queen’s funeral proceedings who are clearly just desperate to be arrested so they can feel oppressed. That includes the people who swallow it hook, line and sinker and are on SM bleating about how this is just like Putin/Russia. No you aren’t, you’re being arrested/moved on for a public order offence at a state funeral. You can go to Buck Palace, Westminster or wherever you want and wave your signs 24/7, nobody will stop you. Doing it at the Queen’s funeral will lead to an angry mob beating the living sh*te out of you.

As I said, he doesn’t have a the capability on his own without the obedience of the military. I think people are massively underestimating what a massive deal an unprovoked, nuclear first strike is. These weapons have only ever been used once in anger. 80 years ago, to end a world war, when no other country on the planet had the capability to respond. Remember, the whole country has been driven to paranoia by anti-NATO propaganda, completely of their own volition. There is no way they’re going to try and bluff us on nuclear weapons. Not when half of theirs probably don’t work anyway.

Cornered rats don’t turn around and bite into the nearest electrical cable in the hope that somehow it’ll all be fine. As ridiculous as the Russian mantra has been across this whole circus, nuking your neighbour, who has the military backing of NATO states in the USA and UK, is an entirely different level. That’s one step away from every man and his dog being blown into radioactive dust. In the Cold War, the fear of all out nuclear annihilation wasn’t just a western thing. It kept the average Russian awake at night too at times, such as the Cuban Missile Crisis. It’s not something anyone other than perhaps a deranged Putin would take steps towards.

I don’t see how and with what rationale. For a start there isn’t a literal big red button, they will need the military to authorise the launch of anything like that and their support for him is rapidly waning as they are getting humiliated in Ukraine. Secondly Putin has been trying to market this a special military operation to liberate Ukraine from Nazis. That’s a pretty hard sell if you nuke one of the places you’re supposed to be liberating and will probably cross a line with the likes of China.

The way things seem to be going at the moment, I’d drive the Russians out of every inch of Ukrainian soil, Crimea and all. If they go back to post-2014, Russia hasn’t really lost. If they crush Russia it will dissuade them from ever attempting this again and hopefully spell the end of Putin. Personally, I’d find a square metre of worthless, remote swampland somewhere on the Russia border, pile it with cow manure and give it to Russia as a gift/reward for their ‘special military operation’.