Lighthouse

Er…. What!?

He wasn’t drunk.

After all the noises we’ve been making about signing the right people, scouting different leagues and long term projects; signing Phil Jones would be the equivalent of buying your wife a bag of charcoal from Londis at 8pm on Christmas Eve.

Stonking power play that. With Vince and McD opening we might just sting a few wins together

I feel like the metric system is better for men's self esteem in general. Saying you have a 76mm ding dong just sounds more impressive than 3 inches.

I don’t know about this vote, it lacks the fun and camp of Eurovision.

Criteria #1 for me, in any position, is being fit enough to actually get onto the pitch nine games out of ten. For that reason I’ll pass on Bale, AOC, Jones and any other, "hey wouldn’t it be great if he came here and stayed fit!" Player.

I’d probably take Bergwijn for £15-20m. He’s looks decent enough in fleeting spells for Spurs although he mostly seems to be an 89th min sub.

When the transfer windows opens, can we just trade BoJo for Estonia’s PM?

You’d have to pair him up with his partner, Frank Magnet.

It’ll be Cardiff, surely.

Kids, don’t make me pull this car over.

Except we’ve been through four different ‘generals’ since 2016 and they’ve been commanding a steadily declining group of foot soldiers, lead by the same group of NCOs. Simply chopping the highest ranking official you can find isn’t necessarily the solution to everything.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/61689669 It’s official! We HAVE been beaten by a cricket score.

The phrase “platty joobz” is currently a thing.

Should be all done and dusted with the weather being as it is. Great run out on Rawlins just before the stoppage.

It's on Sky Sports crickets, I missed the opening partnership but as you say we looked average at best after that. Looked decent with the ball though, for a change. Four down now, they SHOULD see this through.

Wouldn’t want some wet lettuce like Gattuso, Cannavaro or Maldini in your team.

Ligue 2 is competitive but hardly anyone gives a s**t. A bit like this conversation really.

Good luck to him at Reading, I genuinely wish him well if he goes there but this post just highlights our painfully low expectations recently. Being our 8th EPL top scorer is based on nothing other than the fact that he’s been here a long time. Over 1/3 of the 23 years we’ve been in the Premier League, in which time much better players have come and gone. He isn’t about more than goals either, he just runs around a lot. His touch is poor, he’s frequently offside and gives away possession.

I tried those Heineken mini kegs a couple of times, I just got 5 pints of foam, followed by five more of flat syrup. Don’t know if these are similar.

The clue is in the name; it’s a cake, not a biscuit, you wouldn’t dunk a mini Battenberg. You want to get yourself some Hobnobs.

9 balls: W01W0W04W

What about an evening with Gal Gadot and a packet of Jaffa Cakes?

Good Lord this is bad. I knew when I decided to take on a more active support this season that they’d instantly become a monumentally s**t team. We won’t get halfway to the 230 odd we’ll need to win this.