Lighthouse

Stek Cedric Fonte Yoshi Targett Wanyama Reed Tadic JWP Jay Rod Pelle I'd save Mané for Sunday's game.

Pretty much the BBC killing two birds with one stone. Very cheap sports coverage and fits in with their liberal, equal opportunities stand point. I say equal, a men's game of that standard wouldn't even get a mention on SSN. As a display of sporting talent, better 20 seconds of coverage at 1:30am on the Football League Show. If these women were good enough to be on TV they would be playing for Chelsea and Man Utd. Or even Saints... or Bompey... or anyone in the football League... but they aren't.

We do you're right, the OS had me thinking the Newcastle game was next.

I'd love to see a front 4 of Mané, Jay, Tadic and Pelle. Not sure if the balance would be right though.

Along with Lallana's tw*t beard and Clyne's sh*t tattoos. I think they're just missing a Saints torso now, perhaps we can sell them Neil Shipperley's enormous beer belly.

Seconds out, round one. Thoughts? Teams? Predictions? I'm going with the team that beat Vitesse and I think a cagey draw which will largely satisfy both teams.

Any comparisons between the two before we got promoted are pretty much meaningless. You can't say Lambert is better because he scored more goals in League 1 than Pelle did in Serie A or the Eredivisie. I couldn't pick a better player of the two. Both had strengths and weaknesses, both ended up in 10-15 Prem goals a season territory.

You can be flippant all you want, scoring in a friendly against a team which was non-league last year doesn't prove anything.

2 goals in a preseason friendly against League 2 opposition? The point is everyone has declined well below their best by that age. Sheringham was decent but not the same player who was banging them in for Spurs and England in the mid 90s.

I wish people would stop comparing him to Sherringham. Why not compare him to James Beattie? He was also a decent midtable striker, who never relied on pace. Couldn't get a goal for love nor money by the time he was Lambert's age. Robbie Fowler, Grant Holt, Andy Cole, Van Nistelrooy?

Be interesting to see which Saints team appears. I can't imagine anyone who started last night will play more than 45 minutes. Hopefully we can give the likes of Stek, Jay Rod, Caulker and Juanmi a decent run out. I wouldn't risk Mané in this one. He looks razor sharp already and I'd hate for him to get a knock.

Apart from the known troll that is PP, who are you actually talking about?

Age takes its effect on everyone in the end, regardless of how slow they are to start with. I remember going to Carrow Road about 3 years ago and Grant Holt looked like he was running through treacle. We saw it several times when a big defender stuck tight to Lambert, he really struggled. The likes of Clint Hill and John O'Shea kept him quiet and they aren't exactly world class defenders.

I thought Yoshida was very good last night too. I guess it's the old story of mistakes by defenders and 'keepers being highlighted more than attacking players. Mané for example tried a simple knock and run in the second half but ended up knocking it out for a goal kick. You could latch on to that as evidence of him being a liability but in reality both players were excellent I thought. I even thought his distribution was generally very good. All this playing between the inexperience of Stek, Targett and Clasie.

Nope. Scored away to Palace, Villa and Ludogorets.

Liverpool thought he would be a great player to have as back up to Sturridge and Balotelli but he wasn't. He would probably get a decent round of applause the first time he came off the bench. After a couple of weeks of forgettable sub appearance the novelty would largely have worn off. As dreams go, this one is on par with my dream about washing my socks and forgetting to use fabric conditioner.

Did anyone else see a bat flying around the Northam towards the end of the game? He must have been tripping out on the noise in there.

It's not libellous at all. Alleging that he sold enriched uranium to the Syrian government would be libellous, not questioning his attitude as a footballer. Lambert has gone, we got the best years out of him and his form last season was as much him being past it as it was Liverpool not utilising him properly. Saints, Spurs and Liverpool are all well above his level now. If he moves on it will be to a team in the bottom half.

I'm going to put my money on him having a blinding season, only to get 'poached' by Liverpool in summer for £20m, kind of like Toby. He will then go on to be a hilarious flop at Anfield.

Shame. I'll just take a load of mushrooms and whizz instead.

Even Berty?

I thought he was Eminem.

He really isn't. alpine is dull, predictable and really quite sad. I don't consider endless drivel about how everything is terrible to be comedy gold.

Nope