Secret Site Agent

Below we have an extract of a conversation heard at Staplewood training ground today by a 'source'. Virgil Van Dijk: Hi Itsh Virgil here. Wassermans Agent for Netherland Key European Representatives: Virgil baby. How is you? Fine I hope.hehehhe..we have big plans for you, Loads of money. VVD: Yesh, itsh about this letter I have sent. W.A.N.K.E.R. :Yes, you did well there. Saints will have to sell you now to Liverpool. You really told them. VVD:Umm,when did I write it? W.A.N.K.E.R. : We wrote it yesterday. VVD:What, me and you? W.A.N.K.E.R. : No us.......I mean yes, me and you and some other blokes, you know the others that come ith me, the PR team, the lawyers, the media guys, Mr klopp, The Liverpool boys, The Liverpool echo. You know. Your team. VVD:Yes, I don’t think some of it is true though? W.A.N.K.E.R. : Of course it is, you told us, so we.......you wrote it.We helped of course, but it’s defiantly you. Yep, it’s all true. VVD:When did I tell you this? W.A.N.K.E.R. : Well,I dunno, yesterday, last week, never.......what does it matter, saints are going to sell you to Liverpool. VVD: Well, Les said, and the board seemed to follow him up that I won’t be sold to Liverpool. W.A.N.K.E.R. : Yes you will, Kloppy told me. VVD: But he said the Liverpool board won’t do it in case they get investigated for tapping up again. W.A.N.K.E.R. : Ahhh, thats ********. Let me ask you. Have Liverpool ever tapped up a player and been caught out? VVD: Well, there’s that thing about the Stoke apprentice and....... W.A.N.K.E.R. : Virgil, Virgil, Virgil. Let me put it another way. When did the Liverpool board ever do anything against the wishes of Klippity Klopp? VVD: Well, they are going to sell Coutinho........... W.A.N.K.E.R. : Ahhhh, Vigil. Don’t worry about that. There other teams interested. VVD:Like who? W.A.N.K.E.R : Top teams. VVD:What top Teams? W.A.N.K.E.R. : TOP!TEAMS!....Now I’ve got to go, i’ve got to try and convince Steven Gerrard, Robbie Keane and, Jamie Carragher to have a candlelit vigil for you. By the way Stevie G was wondering if you had Ryan Bertrand mobile number as.......er.......he wants to.....er....catch up on a conversation they had when they are on England duty. About......ummm.......Nivia cream.....yes that’ll do it..... VVD: Lishen, i’ll text it over. Mauricio Pellegrino: Heya, Vigila. You a reallya fuk it all uppa now. Anyway, the boysa all havina a cuppa tea. Woulda you likea a cupa tea? VVD: well, bosh. When I was injured I realised that a footballer only has a short career and a short number of cups of tea and I need to be somewhere where they serve tea in mugs with big red crests on them and ‘you’ll never walk alone’ written on the top. MP: Wella, I wonta have a player whosea head isn’t inna a cup of tea, so youlla have to go a and drink a youra tea with Class 9 ata St. Marys Primary schoola. VVD: OK. Have you had any phone calls from.......well.....other teams....you know....about.....maybe me? MP: Yes I hada call froma José Mourinho, Pep Guardiola, Antonio Conte, Zinedine Zidane and Luciano Spalletti . They alla aska mea the same question. VVD:Really. Whats did they say? MP: They alla saya to me, theya say, Thata Virgil Van Dijk ofa yours. Why is he such a ****.

I think we should maintain a dignified silence on the matter. We are better than this

Couldn't agree more.

My god, are you always so down? I wouldn't be surprised if your blood group was B Negative. This is a bit early to say, is it not? We finished 8th last year, not 17th. At least give us a chance to **** up this year before we all start sneering 'I told you so.' Who knows, perhaps MoPe is right and if he stops the team from playing like a bunch of individuals and plays like a team, and we achieve getting as few in we might surprise and flatter again.

I predict 6th.......Just with a few days to go and to quietly move up the table, plus a good cup run and another final..........with a Cinderella story finish.

Well done Weston, I'm really please for you. Are you back in Employment now? Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

Yes, and also a busted flush. And up **** creek without a paddle. And a flash in the pan. And we have no coherence And we are leaderless We have no direction We are all at sea,all at sea We are a shepherd without a herd We are a carpenter without a hammer As we face the sun, we have no shadow Our Karma had come full circle We are reaping what we sowed We are set adrift on memory bliss We amble from one crisis to another And various other Vague idioms which mean nothing about anything to do with us.

RIP Bill. Condelences to his family

I thought there were a few, like AR-10 & Guam, they seem to always be on the nose. The rest are chancers I had one, he was pretty spot , but since he left his job, nothing. The club do run a very tight ship and it's a hang over from Cortese days. Not that it was a bad thing, I think it was to stop anyone undercutting us on deals, or pushing prices up etc. I'm just happy when it happens to be honest and all this speculation does my head in a little bit. The problem is, i understand the strength of using THE WORD as a tool and a weapon, so I always take everything with a pinch of salt until corroborated somewhere else. We will just have to wait boys and girl

Words cannot do justice to how I feel. RIP Bradley.

Rest in piece Ken Thanks for your service

Rest in peace Ken.

I would like to hold you to account and challenge your Dejan comment. And further more i say to you Purple monkey dishwasher, if i may paraphrase the great Krabbable.

Yeh, great Article Polish football expert Kamil Rogólski answers all of our questions on him, almost.

I'll get your coat:lol:

What's that I smell in the air? A small part of paradox, mixed with humor and satire and just a twist of banter and contempt? Why it's Irony I think, or perhaps sarcasm? I'm not sure, to be fair.

No, sorry mate, I have no idea.

Are you mad? We all know, and accept that VvD is going to be off. That is not the problem, and I don't think the club would be bothered to throw up some smoke screen to cover him going. The issue is that he could go to Man City, Arsenal, Man Utd or may even abroad for what is being touted at 60-70 million. Liverpool want him for £50 million, so have tapped him up to make it a done deal and save themselves from a bidding war and an extra 20 million. Fair play to the Club for reporting them, and I hope he DOESN'T got the Liverpool, and I hope they get some sanctions. Why can't you get what the issue is. We know he'll go, and have known for over a year. We just want top dollar, and Liverpool are trying to rip us off, AND ****ing over the other interested teams to boot.

Of Course we did. I also gave Burglar Bill written permission to enter my property and reported him to the police. For some strange reason.

Wow, i'm agreeing with both Glasgow AND Alpine today. Yes, where is your proof? You've been called on this on 2 threads so far today.

If we get to the cup final, we had a chance at a trophy.:Ahem, well duh.

****, I went home from work and started my holiday and realised I was about 3 weeks early. You used to be able to set your watch by Alpine and his summer rant, now he's just too early all of the time. My answer is the same as the last 5 years No,No,yes, only in your mind, I don't see that, agree to a point, not sure what you are getting at, no,no,yes, Sundays, Les, MP,no,no,yes, Kat does you know, maybe,I can wait, loverly, need some perspective, no, no,League 1 and beyond, yes, maybe, no,yes,yes, what? I'm not sure, maybe, good. Ahhh summer is here.

I read this and I am impressed with the content there, and how we are going to stand firm against Klopp tapping up VVD. I was also impressed that I could get two free £10 bets by opening a new account at William Hill. Perhaps one would be for VVD NOT to join Liverpool.

Logic would dictate that, if we did, and the selling club didn't like it, we would be reported. Or another team would winge because thye wanted him as well. How difficult is it to contact the club in question and ask to speak to the player? If they say no, you just go to the press and say how much you admire the player and wish you had someone like him. There are ways to do things, ways to bend the rules to achieve what you want without breaking them. As for Toby, he wasn't ours in the first place and YES, I was mightily ****ed off when spurs got him. But don't you think Vic wanted to go to Spurs, and we got a decent bit of wedge for him. That is the importatnt thing to remember, we get a big wedge for these people, which is the only consolation I get when they go, otherwise you have an underperforming player, or one sat on the bench for a year to two years then they go for free. It's business, no matter how you look at it. When VVD goes, why should Liverpool have an advantage over other clubs because they have tapped him up? Why should Chelsea, City, Man U or say Inter or Real Madrid not have a chance to put their offer to him?

I agree. It's got nothing to do with us looking like crying babies, the rulesis the rules and you can't argue something that is wrong. We go out and do it the right way, like we did with Celtic to get VVD, so the least Liverpool can do is the same. For me, no matter what the PL do as a punishment, I would put VVD out there for £60m to City and Chelsea, £75m to Liverpool and £55m to any team outside the PL, (so he isnt playing against us). Lets see how keen Klopp is then.