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TSM Crap Joke Suppository....


Redbul

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive,

triple-pane, energy-efficient kind.

Today, I got a call from Home Depot who installed them. The caller

complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still

hadn't paid for them.

Helloooo,............ just because I'm a Senior Citizen doesn't mean

that I am automatically mentally challenged.

So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year

--that these windows would pay for themselves in a year —

Hellooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him. There

was only silence at the other end of the line, so I hung up.

He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

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I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said “You remind me of my little toe!”

 

She said “Is that because I’m small and cute?” I replied “No, it’s because I’ll probably end up banging you on the coffee table when I get home”

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I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said “You remind me of my little toe!”

 

She said “Is that because I’m small and cute?” I replied “No, it’s because I’ll probably end up banging you on the coffee table when I get home”

lol
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  • 3 weeks later...

Zoo jokes, eh? :D :D

 

John Terry took his family on an outing to the zoo. He pointed through the glass and said "look at the funny monkey, kids! Ooh ooh!! Aah aah!!"

 

 

Then he pulled out his wallet and said "sorry mate, two adults and two children please."

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  • 3 weeks later...

During my last check up I asked the doctor "So, do you think I'll have a long and healthy life then?"

 

He replied "I doubt it somehow, Mercury is in Uranus right now."

 

I said "I don't believe in all this astrology nonsense!"

 

"Neither do I ," he said, "My thermometer just broke."

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  • 2 weeks later...
We saw a homeless girl on the high street with a sign saying "Destitute. Please help."

 

My mate walked towards her, taking his wallet out. I thought "that's nice," until he asked her for a blowjob and I remembered he's dyslexic.

7/10, could see that coming....boom boom
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