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Teh official rate your weekend fred - sponsored by Teh Demented Wives Association


Crouchie's Lawyer
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Fri: Dropped Teh Mrs to a restuarant for a work meal, went to pub, picked a very drunk teh Mrs back up after I finished at pub. Was hoping for secksy time, all I got was listening to the rythmic sounds of her chundering in the loo. Nice.

 

Sat: Stayed in bed most of the day watching telebox and playing FM08, trying to ignore the sounds of teh Mrs still throwing up. Lame bint. Over a mates in the evening for pizza, weed, xbox and wii.

 

Sun: Watched footy and tidied house. Over parents in evening for a meal.

 

5.5/10

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Friday -- Went into town during the day and had a couple of pints. Went to British Sea Power at the uni in the evening before heading to Lennons afterwards. Got battered.

 

Saturday -- Woke up feeling like sh*t. Monged about before heading to the Avondale for the football. Still felt like sh*t throughout and the result was poor. Was going to go out but the weather was shocking and didn't feel well enough.

 

Sunday -- Still felt like sh*t. Did nothing. Went back to Somerset.

 

This morning -- Still feel like sh*t.

 

10/10 for Friday, 2/10 for the rest.

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Fri- Dinner wiv the mooses.

 

Sat- Played footy, beat teh Pompey fookers Portchester 5-0. Boots were dismantled. :(

 

Sunday- Awoke to SMS abuse on teh telephone, got up and played for IFC in teh second half, deflected one past my keeper, gave away a pen with Crab Lungs in a tag team combo challenge

Went shopping wiv teh mrs.

Watched Super Sunday

Chilled

 

7/10

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Friday - Gym and then went to the lucky ladyfriends abode.

Saturday - Numbed my leg up and played Footie, finished with the swelling on side of my shin as it has been, but also at the base of my shin as well, still all bruised, good times!! We did win 3-2 and I got 1 so nice goal bonus. Town in the evening.

Yest - Numbed up leg again and played first game for Sunday team this season, won 4-2 and I got 2, back to pub that sponsors us for roast potatoes and sweetcorn yummage. Gym and then pub quiz.

 

Today - Leg is bad and maybe should've took doc's advice, might go for that x-ray!!

 

Rating - 6/10, if i'd have been on here all weekend it'd have been a 10.

 

P.S. Stevo has replaced SRS as my favourite TSWer

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Friday - Gym and then went to the lucky ladyfriends abode.

Saturday - Numbed my leg up and played Footie, finished with the swelling on side of my shin as it has been, but also at the base of my shin as well, still all bruised, good times!! We did win 3-2 and I got 1 so nice goal bonus. Town in the evening.

Yest - Numbed up leg again and played first game for Sunday team this season, won 4-2 and I got 2, back to pub that sponsors us for roast potatoes and sweetcorn yummage. Gym and then pub quiz.

 

Today - Leg is bad and maybe should've took doc's advice, might go for that x-ray!!

 

Rating - 6/10, if i'd have been on here all weekend it'd have been a 10.

 

P.S. Stevo has replaced SRS as my favourite TSWer

 

Aids my friend, what boots do you wear, mine took a turn for the worst and now im hunting out some new ones. Yours seem to do the biznis

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Aids my friend, what boots do you wear, mine took a turn for the worst and now im hunting out some new ones. Yours seem to do the biznis

 

I lobbed a keeper with my F-50.8's on Sunday, then lashed in 4 yard and 25 yard with my World Cups. I would suggest against F-50.8's as like most boots these days they have no protection really, they just look poncey. If Puma Kings are still on the go i'd get a pair of them and I might look into that myself, as they are leather and the besterest boots ever.

 

I hate boots now actually, all fart and no sh!t if you ask me, just give me a normal pair.

 

I hope this helps you in some way, pro-direct soccer is the way forward for boot buying though.

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I lobbed a keeper with my F-50.8's on Sunday, then lashed in 4 yard and 25 yard with my World Cups. I would suggest against F-50.8's as like most boots these days they have no protection really, they just look poncey. If Puma Kings are still on the go i'd get a pair of them and I might look into that myself, as they are leather and the besterest boots ever.

 

I hate boots now actually, all fart and no sh!t if you ask me, just give me a normal pair.

 

I hope this helps you in some way, pro-direct soccer is the way forward for boot buying though.

 

I hate Puma King's, i spent my Tyro days kicking people with those big flappy white tongues.

 

Was gonna get some AdiPURE's, a modern day version of the World Cup/Copa Mondials it seems. Dislike the F50's too.

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Aids who do you play for?

 

Nobody amazing, I play at the lovely Combined Counties level. Getting back into it, as stopped playing on Saturdays to watch Saints, but got annoyed splashing the cash for rubbish when I can earn a few beer vouchers and whatnot.

 

Adipures may be worth a look, as I love my world cups, they are the balls. I have used my whole allocation talking about my worthless life and Football boots, i've reached a real low in my life :(

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Nobody amazing, I play at the lovely Combined Counties level. Getting back into it, as stopped playing on Saturdays to watch Saints, but got annoyed splashing the cash for rubbish when I can earn a few beer vouchers and whatnot.

 

Adipures may be worth a look, as I love my world cups, they are the balls. I have used my whole allocation talking about my worthless life and Football boots, i've reached a real low in my life :(

 

Head on over to b-anter then?

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Friday - resigned from my job - I am 33 on Wednesday and decided that working in sales in boring and I need a change

Saturday - pondered what the hell to do now that I have no job then went to The London and Oceana for a few hours, first time there, was ok. Ess provided the taxi home (thanks)

Sunday - same as Sat

Today and for the foreseeable - nothing

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Friday - resigned from my job - I am 33 on Wednesday and decided that working in sales in boring and I need a change

Saturday - pondered what the hell to do now that I have no job then went to The London and Oceana for a few hours, first time there, was ok. Ess provided the taxi home (thanks)

Sunday - same as Sat

Today and for the foreseeable - nothing

 

That sounds like the arrival of a mid-life crisis Jill!

 

Don't worry, it's the best thing that ever happened to me

You'll be ****ging 18 year-olds very soon

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Had a rather busy, yet quiet weekend, which I wasn't at all unhappy about. Seeing some friends and relatives going off on respective holidays the day before was a slight downer, but surprisingly nothing I couldn't cope with. Usually I'm green with envy if I haven't got anything lined up myself, but not this time. tbh, Saints losing was the biggest disappointment, and I got over that reasonably quickly. Must be some sort of indicator.

 

So 6/10.

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Friday: Takeaway with friends in New Milton, spent hours trying to book a holiday and failed.

Saturday: Finally got holiday booked. Drove to Coventry, had some drinkies and nosh. Went to pap football match. Got driven home. Went to bed.

Sunday: Had lie in. Spent most of afternoon at in-laws setting up their broadband and helped them buy a laptop. Home for dinner, sorted out washing, fixed handles on to wardrobes, bath and bed.

 

Rating: 2/10.

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Friday - College during day, band practice in the evening. The latter wasn't so good.

Saturday - Not much during the day, watched the footy on tv, saw Saints get hammered then went out babysitting. Got some monies for it.

Sunday - Went swimming with my cousins. Pool was full of mongs and inbreds. It felt like home.

 

7/10

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What defines a 'missus'? 'going out' > 6 months? Only cheese on the board for > 12 months? 'When I were a lad', if a missus wasn't actually a missus she would've been someone you would have long since forgotten having 'teh secks' or any kind of 'fun' with - ie > 2 years. Mostly, she was the grim faced harridan who made your life miserable every night - ie 'the missus'.

 

Explain and discuss. Use detail to explain your definition. (10)

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What defines a 'missus'

 

I too find this difficult to understand, some categorise a girl they have been 'seeing' as their 'missus', been with mine 9 years, never used that terminology, do not think I will even when I marry her....'the wife' is better imo

 

W/end 6/10 too much drinking really

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What defines a 'missus'? 'going out' > 6 months? Only cheese on the board for > 12 months? 'When I were a lad', if a missus wasn't actually a missus she would've been someone you would have long since forgotten having 'teh secks' or any kind of 'fun' with - ie > 2 years. Mostly, she was the grim faced harridan who made your life miserable every night - ie 'the missus'.

 

Explain and discuss. Use detail to explain your definition. (10)

 

An old mate of mine once sorted them as follows, and I try to recall how it went

 

Wife - a constant stream of bills, criticism of your fitness, lifestyle and friends, secks when they want it and maybe a bj once a year on your birthday as long as you don't get p*ssed up first. It's always HER friends who come to dinner parties. You can't afford a weekend break in Prague

 

Fiance - First signs of worst habits of wife but with secks, a definite reluctance to "go out with the boys". Will still be interested in a weekend trip to Prague but only for the architecture and that "pretty bridge". Will invite your friends for a dinner party but will be stressed out for months about it

 

Missus - a wife in waiting, focuses on looking at furniture, suggests improvements in your wardrobe, will go out with your mates a couple of times a year but gives the body language of hmm. The secks is ok but unlikely to be quickies in a lay-by, might remember where the feather duster is once or twice a year, probably get a bj once every 6 weeks or so, would probably enjoy a weekend trip to Prague but will drag you home from the bar after only 3 beers with the promise of something interesting (which in hindsight wasn't REALLY worth missing the other 6 beers for). You would take her to a dinner party

 

Girlfriend - sits at your side through football, pub with mates, cinema, shopping. Looks at nice things in shops and goes ooh, but doesn't REALLY expect you to buy it for them. Rarely seen without best clothes on, always full of compliments about you, your friends and of course your choice of Vindaloo on a Friday. Only sign of the woes to come would be a reluctance to have a kebab with Chilli sauce on the way home from the pub. Has secks regularly and enjoys being creative. A really good one would buy you a pay of handcuffs for Christmas and a feather duster. Would join you in the dodgy bar in Prague and gently crtique the bodies around the stage. You would have dinner in a pub/restaurant

 

F*ck Buddy - visits you as often as possible, doesn't want to go out, just wants more more more. Will even wear a Saints shirt and sit on your lap while the game is on telly. Creativity isn't there as she normally only has time to tear your favourite shirt in a rush to get it off. Would be on the stage in Prague given half a chance. Who the hell needs dinner!

 

Date - Holds your arm while walking from the restaurant or the posh "chill-out" lounge that you have been to impress her. An occassional holding of hands causes a speeding up of your heart rate and your mouth starts uttering stupid comments that would sound cheesy in a bad Hollywood college love movie.

You are focused on what's under the T-Shirt/spangly top, she is focused on what's in your wallet or what's in your gene pool. You know that only slappers sh*g on the first date, you don't want to go out with one but you HOPE that she'll make an exception just for you. She'll want to play it cool so that she doesn't scare you away and you go home thinking - hmm next time, next time, next time.

Why waste money taking her to Prague? but you know you're going to take her to that big romantic restaurant that your mates recommended (and which is always embarrassingly BAD) Oh and she's always late 'cos she's making herself look gorgeous

 

Then finally you get that whole drunken fumbling 30 seconds later moment, and then it's all about recovery time as to whether you go to level 2, straight to girlfriend or back to square one.

 

 

Of course this misses out the whole new technology stuff but it was a long time ago that he recounted his tales! He also pointed out that it can take anything from 3 months to 10 years to get from step one to wife. Just depends on how long you are able to delay the process

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