qwertyell

Is it the same legal team that were confident that Toby Alderweireld was signed, sealed, and delivered, with no possible loopholes that would allow him to join Spurs instead? No point being confident in anyone associated with this club to be anything other than useless.

In keeping with the Sport Republic era - every time it looks like we've turned a corner and starting to hint at some kind of organisational competence, rank amateur hour rears its ugly head again. The hilarious thing is, we weren't even good at spying. It was so pathetically half cocked that no-one could credibly believe it was a premeditated practice from a multi million pound company of, supposedly, actual adults. And of course we didn't win any of the games we admitted to spying on. Of course. Leave it to Saints to come up with a master plan that provides bugger all benefit and ends up costing us everything. Bunch of fucking clowns. Fire them all into the sun.

My two pennies, for better or worse: we'll get what we get and deserve it. I don't particularly care about the "morality" of spying on training, nor consider it cheating in any serious sense. 24 hours earlier it wasn't. In nearly every other league it isn't. It's not four Serie A clubs getting caught match fixing. It's not Marseille bribing Valenciennes to throw a game to help them win the title. It's not buying referees. It's not systematic doping. It's not financial doping. In just about any sport, such things would constitute flagrant, indefensible cheating. Some dipshit wandering around in plain sight waving his phone about shouldn't really be mentioned in the same breath. In the grand "cheating" pantheon it is probably akin to tapping up, in the sense that it's not allowed (in this particular league at least), but everyone does it, and it's seldom punished. But like tapping up, if you're stupid enough to get caught by being as subtle as a brick, that's on you. We can't blame anyone else for the situation we find ourselves in. Whether we were trying to be a bit cheeky, or devilishly underhanded, the execution was so inept and slapdash that someone needs a good kick. There's no point in whinging about Boro or their fans. This is our mess, and regardless of the outcome today (or tomorrow, or some other time, pending an appeal), is such an idiotic own goal for the sake of minimal benefit at best - if we really believed spying on Boro's training would give us a competitive edge, surely we could've sent someone other than the world's most conspicuous peeping Tom. Anyway, there's nothing we supporters can do. The club has dropped one bollock after another over the past few years - add it to the list. But if our season ends here, what a dumb way to go.

Depends on the outcome. If it's a fine and we get promoted anyway, who outside of a small patch of the northeast cares? If we get chucked out and consigned to another year in the Championship, he'll get a better job offer anyway. So we might as well hang on for the compensation. Of course, he might get a ban, in which case we'll have to move on.

Irrelevant. Norwich don't have to be involved. It's the "whistleblower" that's supposedly presenting the evidence. If he, as an ex-employee, has the receipts of systemic spying, we'll not have much of a leg to stand on - and it could open us up to further charges down the line. It's a mess of the club's own doing, and we'll have no-one else to blame if the sanctions are pretty harsh. Boro have been royally hysterical about it, but they're not the ones who were caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Or standing in plain sight to the side of the cookie jar waving their phone in the air like a useless cunt.

The build up is going to be an absolute shit show with the EFL charges hanging over us. Assuming we get to play it, don't think we'll have Scienza, Edozie or Harwood-Bellis available either. Knee ligament injuries and dislocated shoulders don't right themselves in 10 days, and Harwood-Bellis will probably be charged once the referee includes the "discriminatory language" incident in his report. You've got to be in it to win it, but Hull aren't going to be a pushover.

Edgy. Very edgy. Individually, Jander and Charles are doing okay, but they're not a partnership at all - the midfield is way too porous, for me. Wouldn't mind Downes on for the peripheral Matsuki or Azaz and strengthen the middle. Got a sinking feeling Wood's stupid booking for dissent is going to play a part somewhere along the line...

Second to everything again. Boro have definitely been the better side over to two legs so far. We're getting overrun everywhere.

Take that. Truly dreadful until Boro tired. Can't afford a repeat performance on Tuesday. If memory serves we weren't any great shakes at West Brom in our last play off semi first leg, but ground it out nevertheless. The result is all that matters. Thank our lucky stars, and go again.

Not the day to drop a stinker. They're quicker, stronger, more aggressive. Snap your hand off for a draw.

Pointless. Play the reserves and settle for 5th. We'll be playing Boro almost certainly regardless. Might as well be fresh for it.

Glass half full: we can rest everyone for Preston and prepare for a play off game with Millwall or Boro. We need the rest.

Well this is absolutely fucking predictable. You can't trust Saints.

Unimpressed Newcastle fans labelling him Hologramsdale at least raised a chuckle.

This, but unironically. Not sure how he possibly qualifies for a British work permit under the current regulations.

All we can do is take care of our own business. We've got 33 more points available - that takes us to 86. No-one's missing out on the play offs with 80 points.

And if the "since Tonda took over" trend continued, the table would end up pretty much like this: Coventry: 91pts Middlesbrough: 85 Ipswich: 84 Hull: 80 Millwall: 80 Wrexham: 75 Saints: 72 Birmingham: 67 Bristol City: 66 Derby: 66 Watford: 65 Preston: 64 So we probably need to be sensational over the final 12 or so games - 9 wins, perhaps - or someone has to absolutely collapse down the home straight. That someone could be us, of course...

Give Jander a rest. He's on a booking and pretty off the pace lately. Not surprisingly. They only play 34 games in Germany - plus a winter break. We're on match week 34 already, in February. That's quite an adjustment to make, physically.

How has he managed to spell Kyle wrong? That doesn't auger well.

Wouldn't get a work permit. So if we are in for him, it's with the immediate intent to loan him out (probably to Goztepe) to a stronger league until he earns enough points to qualify for a WP - as happened with Matsuki.

Alejandro Rodriguez gets his first senior goal for Lyon in the Europa League, aged 17. Think he'll be a better player than Ballard over the longer term. Not for us, of course. Don't be silly.

He's supposedly about to join Inter and be loaned back to Hajduk Split for the rest of the season. Barcelona have also been sniffing around. I mean, he might've grown up with posters of Florin Gardos on his wall, and be an active participant in the West Quay facebook community, but even then I doubt joining one of the weaker Championship sides would be top of his destination preferences. That being said, he's a very decent prospect. Big lad, but athletic, strong in the air, physical, aggressive, moves pretty well, comfortable on the ball, good positional sense for his age. None of that sounds like a Saints player.

Don't see why not. In a classic 4-3-3, before everyone went all double-pivot, Downes sits and Jander and Charles play as 8s supporting defence and attack. Gives us more presence and workrate in the centre of the park than having to carry Azaz as the ghostly 10 who may or may not turn up sporadically, depending on if he feels like it.

Didn't know Princewill had returned from his loan. Didn't he have a problem with his arse or something? 6' 3" striker, though, so maybe we can find a use for him in some capacity. Busted arse notwithstanding.

Birmingham in for August Priske for £6m. Along with Robin Roefs and Younes Ebnoutalib, clearly other clubs are heeding my renowned scouting expertise (absolute shite suggestions in my post history are obviously due to being hacked), but not Saints. It's almost like they don't want to succeed.