CB Fry

Not sure what your phrase "give youngsters a chance no matter what" is supposed to mean. It's certainly not what the club says and you are making our youth system sound like a footballing Jim'll Fix It where young players get some guaranteed golden ticket to first team football regardless of ability. What we do is over-invest in development of young players, and the really strong ones we play, we don't farm them off to Standard Leige. The half-the-first-team thing is unlikely ever to happen while we are a top half Premier League club. But neither is Champions League qualification. However, both aspirations provide our strategic direction of travel and inform the decisions we make. And promoting youth where we can will continue, as will not spunking pointless money on wages and fees ("just pay the asking fee in full!!") on any old Carlos Kickaball that knee jerk idiot fans demand us to sign in the name of "ambition". We remain distinct from other top 8/6 clubs.

An Argentine signed from the Spanish league? Clearly no way you can pin that on our Mauricio.

Yeah. We play them and we'd definitely win. Of course we would. I would happily never play the cu nts for a decade. Don't give them the satisfaction.

A fee less than we got for Clyne would still be pretty crazy money for Fonte in all honesty. But he's still worth more than that to us and he won't go.

Maybe the club will run some kind of competition after he's signed and she's settled in the area.

Personally I think the ones we loan we think probably aren't going to make it in the Premier League.

What conscious decision are you saying the club is making? All I'm saying is we're not in a particularly lean time - in terms of players we've got three - Reed, Targett, JWP - who I think will play 50 plus top level games this season. It's a shame we sold Chambers so quickly but there you go. We're not going to ever get to the half the team thing anytime soon, not if we want to finish top ten.

Not so much that, more that we aren't in the lower divisions anymore. That's what allowed us to risk Chamberlain, Bale etc. An Adam Lallana coming through now might not ever have made it.

Isn't Reed the one that our Les describes as the best young talent he's ever seen? That, combined with his previously stated policy (In the main, to not loan players out) suggests Harrison Reed will not be going anywhere.

What do you mean "nothing was not true"? It was pretty much entirely his opinion about things, primarily spoon fed to him by some disgruntled mate of Adam Lallana. So nothing true or false about it - his opinions, which did, very quickly prove to be way, way off the mark. It was how he presented them as grand revelations that was the funny bit for me, especially when they eventually dribbled out and the true source - a spoilt stroppy footballer angling for his payday - was painfully obvious. Crabby's utter inability to process the info he was privy to was from whence the comedy arose. To save face he decided to cling on to his Forster opinion as a final stick to beat Les and Co with but unfortunately for him we ended up with the second best defensive record in the division and Forster recognised as an excellent Premier League keeper.

I saw Jay Rod in the Chilworth Arms once and can confirm he did not have an eight inch biffter on the go.

Except the "reach" is the pointless assertion that if nothing bad happened to us in the season we'd have finished in X position. Jack Cork didn't shoot Swansea above us when they had us in their sights last season, after all.

Which two seasons did Alan Pardew near-relegate you? He was gone for the half season local passionate understands the club super Geordie John Carver nearly relegated you. The season you were in the quarter finals of the Europa League you finished 16th but only dropped to there very late in the season and didn't spend a single week in the relegation zone, mainly being mid table. Maybe the fact you were also in the quarter finals of the Europa League was a factor. Maybe you mean the season you finished fifth? If he was from Gosforth you'd effing love him.

Isn't he from Street Fighter 2?

Bob Mortimer praising the bestest fans on Twitter. Can't move for replies saying "we are always like that". Of course.

Hyped to the hills but always looked one that could go either way to me. Former assistant to Carlo Ancelotti. A role previously held by managerial greats like, er, Ray Wilkins.

And who have actually won the league in the living memory of lots of people who are actually living human beings.

Your own description of Shaqiri reads exactly like a description of someone who has failed at two big name clubs.

Brilliant.

Announced it on Five Live and presenter went straight to resident expert Kevin Kilbane for a view on it. He burbled something about Stoke signing Shakiri and then eventually said "yeah, good signing". Never in the history of spoets broadcasting has an expert so blatantly never heard of a player. Brilliant.

3/10.

Anyone who thought we would come put of this window with an on paper "upgrades" to three of our best players leaving us with an on paper "stronger first eleven" is a fool. If upgrades on Morgan, Clyne and Toby were easily available then I'd suggest Man U, Spurs and Liverpool would be signing them instead of the inferior Morgan, Clyne and Toby. Cedric is a perfect example of the replacements we are going to secure - youth, potential, some relevant experience and a chance he is worth £18m in a couple of years himself, at which point we can all have a good old whine about the length of his contract, how we "co cked up" keeping him and how our replacement isn't an upgrade. The replacements to TA and MS will fit the same pattern. Obviously. Fu cking obviously. Get used to it. The CM and the CB will be signed and we will have a lovely team all good and ready for the season ahead. And jolly good it will be too.

LOL. Currently tearing it up in the Latvian second tier.

Good. You forgot the ba ba ba ba ba baa bit that would also work as a chant. Unfortunately this will never be sung in SMS. We need another club to adopt this as a chant first which we then copy.