CB Fry

Bigoted claptrap.

You're not coming across as someone prepared to listen to anyone's opinion about anything.

Drivel.

Just pure, unadulterated bedwetting. Stoke far stronger based on what? They've lost a few and signed some assorted Carlos Kickaballs and have a manager pretty much proven to deliver mid table - 9th, 8th maybe. Far stronger? Nope. Newcastle finished the season fighting relegation up to the final day. Far stronger? Than 17th. Well yeah. Even our Schteve can do that. Oh, I'm scared. WBA. Pulis basically able to deliver 12th/13th every single season regardless. Far stronger? Nah, just another Pulis season. Palace? Yep, great Pardew doing well. Possible contender for 7th/8th? If all planets in alignment why not, if he does he's the next England manager. Far stronger? Let's be fair - they are as likely to be as inconsistent as any, and mid table awaits. Good luck to em. Seriously, who have any of those clubs signed that you want? The mentalist striker Newcastle have bought? I have no doubt that if Stoke had signed Cedric you'd be pi ss ing the bed about it.

Too much nonsense there to bother with I'm afraid. Someone else with energy could take it apart line by line but I can't be bothered. Disappointed you didn't manage to weave in Les Reed's record at Charlton, though. Do try harder.

That's a pretty special post, I've got to say.

He does look like the Great Soprendo, though. Piff-Paff-Poof.

If we'd have signed James Chester, diminutive centre back, slightly injury prone, last seen being relegated with Hull alongside "Gashton", Alpine would have gone apesh it about our seaside B&B levels of ambition and what a sh it signing he is. He'd have a hilarious nickname for him by now, too. Something like James Chesturd.

Dry your eyes, chubs. Someone give him a couple of Ferrero Rocher tide him over, for fu ck's sake.

We're all looking forward to laughing long and loud and heartily at all your hilarious pretend opinions endlessly repeated day after day for the whole new season. What fun. Don't forget on Thursday to do your comedy gold about how we need to get out of the Europa League as soon as possible so we can (get this) concentrate on not being relegated. Oh, my aching sides.

Alpine having his traditional tranfer window meltdown, banged into the forum in between fistfuls of Minstrels. Plus Dalek doling out what is without doubt his genuinely held opinions and by no means a repetitive and painfully obvious troll routine. Happy late July everyone!

The countdown to Alpine's snivelling "well, it's all easy with hindsight" climbdown has begun. I'm saying it will be on August 26th.

Someone hasn't had their king sized Snickers this morning.

Says the man who doesn't trust the judgement of anyone at the club about anything, at all. Oh well, there's always Maltesers, aren't there?

Basically I've covered our CB signings over the last four seasons, plus Fonte. All did outstanding jobs for us. Where's your "always this clubs f*c king blind spot" theory come from? Once you've finished your Twix, do tell.

Like you'd ever heard of Fonte, Toby, Jos, Toby or Lovren before we'd signed them. Put the Yorkies down and man up. Fu cking clueless.

If we don't sign Virgil a Van Dijk I swear I will kill myself. Or burn down a primary school or something.

Could be as brutal as slow start to season, bimbling around ninth = sacked before Christmas. Levy's got plenty of form.

When you say "centre-left" we all know what you mean. Dead right wing you are, just like Stalin and that.

Clearly that's all going to work out just fine for both clubs over the next twelve months.

You sing. Kinda like every football chant humanity has ever sung.

Yep. Just a scatter gun of non sequiturs. Well done. You could try and assemble some kind of coherent point or train of thought, but I'm pretty sure you don't really want to.

You're just scatter-gunning completely unrelated points to zero effect. You can't accuse people of not knowing history and then come out with ill informed garbage like this. Anyway, we've established you haven't a ruddy clue so let's leave it at that.

Please do point me in the direction of one of those awfully high brow political forums where Chairman Mao gets described as a "right winger in left wingers clothing" and everyone strokes their beards at such an insightful observation. Must be brilliant on there, what with all the "people that know something" and research and that.

LOL "me and GM", two forum contributors who basically agree about absolutely nothing. And you've done your routine already. We get it. It's all left wing when jolly nice things happen, but as soon as anything horrible happens, say like a pan - generational totalitarian state powered by democide, that's, like, so right wing and stuff innit. That uber capitalist Mao Tse-tung was a devil for the small state free market model, wasn't he? I remember when he deregulated the water companies and sold them to a French multinational. Oh, and that time he introduced internal market competition to their health service. Like, he was sooo right wing that Chairman Mao. I do hope you're about 15 years old.