CB Fry

Why would Celtic struggle in the Premier League? They'd be richer than "self-funded" clubs like Arsenal straight off the bat, and would be snapped up by Arabs/Russians in no time. They'd be huge. They'd dwarf "on the up" Saints by a massive distance, that's for sure.

What point are you making here? Apart from a very classy bit of sneering at a team finishing eighth in the Premier League. Finishing eighth completely beneath a European Megaclub like Saints.

Hartson was 22 when he left Celtic, was he? Clueless.

Or, he's right. Saints is a step down from Celtic. It's the League and the money he's coming for.

You know it's a done deal when Dalek rolls out this rib-tickler. See you next time, twenty-four ours before our next signing.

So saying Spurs couldn't possibly replace Bale, but we could replace Lambert easily isn't twisting things? And taking Bale out of the Spurs team and removing all his goals and shed load of points to plummet Spurs down the table isn't twisting things? Keep trying Chubby Checker.

Right you are sweetheart. You've based your "we're as good as Spurs" routine on arbitrarily removing their best player. Just like you to name our best player that we can remove them from the Saints team to even it up. Do tell.

So. Well done Fergie on signing Djemba-Djemba. We were all saying it back in the day, we were. Go to bed you nutcase.

I'm worried that 50m English people won't be enough. Maybe we need to bring in people from Rome and the Blue side of Glasgow too. Lets round them up as WE ALL NEED TO HELP HIM. Phil, can you let us know exactly what you've done so we can ALL follow suit?

Total drivel from start to finish. So many strawmen in such a badly constructed post it's amazing the entire forum hasn't burnt down. Frank, if you can, find one person here congratulating Ferguson on signing Djemba-Djemba, or one person demanding Delap back, or anyone wanting stripes but no money on signings. Go and find these "real" people you are ranting against, and have one of your "real conversations" with them instead of boring the arse off the rest of us.

Perfect. I'd not heard that. Great news. My mate works with the designers of the matchday magazine and I know they are going for an all red cover for every match this season. Sounds like a really striking design, especially in a much smaller format, more pages and with a hard cover. Iconic.

Fingers crossed it'll be a Chinese Dragon or a Bonsai Tree or Nun-chuckas or something. They love that stuff over there.

Just want to check. We've established you think Lambert would be piece-of-p*ss easy to replace. Does the same apply to, say, Morgan then? Is he easy to replace for us? If no, how many league points can we lop off Saints total for the season without him, to balance out your Spurs-without-Bale tally. (after all, Lamberts goals didn't contribute to our season. Any old striker would have done the same. So was it Morgan?) If yes, and he is just as easy to replace as Lambert, doesn't that ever so slightly weaken your argument that we are a gnats knacker away from Champions League Spurs? Because either we have a super-special megateam breathing down the necks of the top six, or we have a team of easily replacable ten-a-penny journeymen. Which is it?

Linking together things like, say, plain red shirts and progress not achievable wearing striped shirts? Things like that?

What happens if you randomly/arbitrarily take a player out of the Saints team, and all their goals and all then remove the points gained from the games he scored in? Richard Lambert, say. How close are we then?

Go on then. Share your "knowledge". How is an off-the-peg Adidas plain red top going to "progress the club in a way that [you] don't believe stripes can"? 10 bonus points for every time you don't mention "the Asian market".

Doesn't matter really, as just being linked with these players is brilliant in itself.

Seems to be about two players Saints actually signed compared to two players we haven't signed.

Tell them what? He's not representing Britain. I was supporting him as they were but he isn't representing Britain. Like Golf, it's a sport of individuals, with exceptions for the Davis Cup/Olympics.

Not really representing anyone is he, really. It's not the Olympics.

To be fair, he hasn't started a game in weeks.

As a child in Merseyside, Rickie Lambert did little else except dream of playing for Southampton.

The possibilities are endless.

Yawn. Of course it is possible. And also pathetically easy to imagine with pretty much zero creative thought whatsoever. But congratulations on your breathtaking leap of imagination that the team you support could finish in sixth place in a league table. Quite astonishing.

God job no one has said they are then.