DT

It is this EM Forster bloke? Great writer

Gazzaniga was all set to sign up for that one but he dropped the pen

shame he got subbed by Man U yesterday...

Would be a crucial signing for us if we want to avoid shipping goals every weekend. Seems like good captaincy material too

News report template: Southampton are interested in *insert name of Dutch bloke* but face opposition from Liverpool, Man Utd and Spurs

All we seem to be left with is a bunch of Fisons grow bags

13. Make sure your catering is the envy of the rest of the Premier League 14. Don't get your kits from Primark

we're good at derisory

Ever? Really? Shilton and Flowers 86/7?

The wages thing is the method Harry used at Pompey etc, ultimately leading to club meltdowns but success along the way. They all fall for it. Difference is with a bit of clever accountancy we could do a similar thing with our recent cash influx, adding in clauses to ensure we don't go down the swanny if it all goes pear shaped and we get relegated. Football's broken, though.

No, it doesn't, but I too suspect they offered more, wages-wise, than we did. Just a gut feeling, so admittedly not scientific. Also suspect he weighed up the likelihoods of survival, plus living in London etc etc. F'sure.

Harry's brown envelope strikes again

This is exactly what will happen, starting with a spanking at Anfield, and Lambert 'not celebrating' his 4 goals against us. Wispy beardy boy will though.

Because we're not offering enough in wages to attract the best players

If wages are a problem perhaps we should use the bulk of our cash in raising them across the board, with clauses about relegation of course. Might mean we could then get targets to sign. Gamble, sure, but cash burning hole in our pockets not working on fees.

Used to really like Liverpool. Now I hope they do a Spurs, post-Bale and have lots of in-fighting and no team spirit with all these incoming, edging Rodgers out of the door in so doing.

I think he will do annoyingly well at first. But then the stroppy Spurs fans will get on his back after a loss to Arsenal and a few other dodgy results and Levy will get rid

Not sure we can be choosy about CBs at the moment. Looks a bit weak to me. (Our ability here, not MR)

If he goes to Spurs I will hate him much more than if he goes to Arsenal, which is clearly a better move for him.

Travelodge

Are you suggesting Saints grant them asylum?

I think we might just about avoid relegation

Our policy is to keep the worst players and sell the best. Thought we all knew that.

Christ - will you just look at that collar. Sub-Primark