John Boy Saint

Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, ( looking up.) A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing. Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the f-n' height of this flagpole, but we don't have a f-'n ladder.' The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down. She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches. Then, she walked off. Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde! We need the f-n' height - and she gives us the f-n' length.'

I answered a knock on the door over the weekend, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.' 'Go away!' I said. 'I haven't got any money!', 'I'm broke!' and proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, I will personally eat the remainder.' I stepped back and said, 'Well I hope you've got a f****** good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of broke did you not understand?'

Bring back the Bull............................. I take it that was yours previously?

Totally politically incorrect I know, but why put the prison staff at risk in allowing them to break up the skirmish: just let them scrap to the finish and save all us decent taxpayers some money. When both of these 2 are eventually released they will still be a drain on the public purse as they will be given state protection due to the notoriety of their crimes. A few more proverbial bars of soap careless left lying around would not go amiss in the vicinity of no marks like these. Right where's my copy of Daily Mail Xtra

Judge Not Too Bad

The Tarnished

A Solo Search for a Cuckoos Nest

Very good................. I sat for ages this afternoon looking at this DVD in the rack but nothing popped into my head....... Well done.

Ferrari Mafia running Formula 1?!?

Monsters Market Traders

H Robot

Oooppps "Taxi for John Boy"!!

Light Alloy Waistcoat

Nope, Just figuring out how to get to Notting Hill.................. Earls Court or Ladbroke Grove could also get in there.

Bernie has issues with the BRDC who own Silverstone, he considers them as a bunch of Blazers, no doubt because they can see right through him and refuse to kiss his backside in the same way everyone else does to stay on side with him.

or Marble Arch.......................... depending which direction you are coming from,

Shepherds Bush

Mr & Mrs Potter

The Day Before Tomorrow

Love Quite Possibly

Slumdog

28 Days Earlier

Dr Yes

or 4 Engagements and a Sudden Illness you beat me to it

The 1st.................. 2nd................ 3rd.......................... and 4th Element