John Boy Saint

Excellent - All is well in the World...............(not excellent that you have no life beyond this TSP and UI though )

Errrr??! Has anyone heard from Billy / Glen - He's gone quiet (not that anyone could blame him after Burnley) just hoping he is alright. Sorry to those of you expecting a read of his next installment

He’s been our Kryptonite for ages, so will be no surprise if he does.

Hey Shroppie (re the other thread) I I stand corrected on you standing corrected - Antonio playing in the JWP zone tonight, that said he didn’t look comfortable on the left.

Liverpool look like they just needed to turn up - they look too casual

Have I stepped into the Twilight Zone???!!! First I thought Dark Munster was mucking about yesterday - turns out he wasn’t. Now we have Whelk seeing a new page and re stoking Dark Munsters embers. for those un sure ANDY CARROLL AKA MY LITTLE DONKEY WENT BACK TO NEWCASTLE IN AUGUST LAST YEAR!! So look out for his appearance a week this Saturday in a Newcastle Shirt..

Especially if you are up the back of the away stand........differently bad when you are on the lower tier too, got seats down there 1st season they were there, spent most of the half when we were attacking the other end watching the bloody great big screen as depth perception actually watching the game totally went to pot.

That is a wonky one, as somewhere along the line in a certain context they can switch to what the other should not be. I looked it up only the other day as something I was writing just didn't look right, saw the difference then saw the possible occasion when it could switch and thought - thanks for that internet!

Saw the Doctor this morning, they are a proactive practice, get you in for an MOT and check over before you've gone wonky. Doctor asked how I was, I said I had a spot of sciatica since last Tuesday evening taken a bloody age to go, normally sleep and its gone. Cheeky bugger just said you're getting older and as that happens bits of you just wear out! So its not just "Things that make you feel old", bloody medical professional officially confirming it to you!!

When you look at how one eyed Carragher is in his co- commentary, considering he is a hero of the Blue Few down the road and seemingly a bit mad Claridge does talk some sense, probably why I haven't heard him on Radio 5 of late........guessing he's on that talk squit these days.

Not wishing to nit pick, pretty certain Antonio is more of a right wing raider - so JWP will be needing to give Bertie some tips on how to worm his way into his head and be a psychological nuisance. It is quite funny as that James Ward-Prowse does seem to be a very nice polite young man................. although I do like the way he just walks away from the scene of the "crime" with a look of yeah whatever in his stride.

Save your pennies - tried it - it doesn't work.........................however I do have some stuff from my mate in the CIA that they developed with NASA and some foreign Johnnies from central America.

If we could expand this to commentators Clive Tyldesley on ITV commentating on Ingerland games annoys the whatsit out of me, it was no surprise that he made a pigs ear of commentating the Viking Axe throwing on Ant & Decs Saturday take away! Yup Garth Crooks spouts some cobblers. Chris Sutton is a funny one though, one minute you’re thinking - are you thick? Subject changes and you’re thinking - gosh I hadn’t thought of it like that.

Just about sums up what happens every time we play them! nope that didn’t go Whooosh - I just chose to duck!

Armstrong and JWP won’t be getting the Players player vote as they are the Fines committee- nor will Jack Stephens as he is the fines appeals judge and no one gets a decision overturned.

That one in the second half was funny though, his positioning and shaping was spot on just had a brain fart as he pulled the trigger - quite a few around us were laughing about it for quite a while. As for shooting practise, watching the pre match warm up and the shooting drill Danny Ings must have hit the post more times than he scored, actually most of them rattled woodwork rather than the back of the net............so I guess it was good to see little Shane had been paying attention in training and managed to get something on the ball for our first.

Fonte was already due for the door when Poch started his first full season that’s why Yoshida was brought in, only Yoshida got crocked at the confederation cup over the summer, which gave Fonte the window to go “I ain’t having this” and upped his game getting super fit in the process and putting in some damn good performances that gave Poch no choice but to stick with him. There was a player interview thingy and more than once when asked who is the fittest player in the squad everyone said Fonte when he came back from winning the Euros his ears needed greasing to get through the doors and he felt his stock was far higher than it actually was.

Looked pretty innocuous at the time good solid challenge put the ball out Lino flagged something Villa player laying on the ground well off the pitch suddenly had the lino flagging for a foul. Villa player was “dead!” Then was suddenly possessed and started wiggling back into life and - hang on what’s this - he’s wriggling himself back onto the pitch!! He wriggled and wriggled and as soon as his feet crossed the line back onto the pitch the Kingsland and Chapel erupted into giving him dogs abuse which got louder the more of himself he wriggled onto the pitch - quite frankly the referee should have booked him as that was unsportsman like behaviour of the highest order. Then all of a sudden the Ref who was buying all the Villa feigned dives up to that point decided to buy another one that the bloke had brain damage and called on the magic sponge men - abuse by now is pouring down from the stands on this shyster - to the point where his own team mates were getting very embarrassed Grealish is waiting to take a corner while they had momentum looking impatient - Mings who had trotted up to hammer the corner home also had the nark and marched over to his team mate tried to get him up then telling him (from his body language) to get off the bloody pitch. In the end I think he realised that he was being a winkle and would be getting dogs abuse for the rest of the game and didn’t fancy the heat so made sure he carried on the act to get substituted out of the cauldron. Bet he’ll be copping it in training on Monday.

Just as a brief interlude or aside and no need for another thread, has anyone listened to the latest Peter Crouch podcast featuring Mike ‘bloody’ Dean as well as being amusing quite interesting listening to the most commented on ref in current football. .............and just before we go back to normal the Ian Wright Desert Island discs is worth looking out too. right carry on

Craig Pawson on the whistle tomorrow he’s another who can be a funny one. Last weeks excuse for a ref Simon Hooper will be manning the Transit van in the St Mary’s car park watching TV’s looking out for an offside nasal hair.

Jeez has good ole Rupert Lowe crept out of a crack in the pavement and talked Gao into opening an old folks home in the SMS car park! Lallana would offer nothing aside from an odour in the dressing room, Clyne did nowt at Bournemouth......I guess taking them opens up the opportunity to claim Gift Aid for the club when Season Ticket renewals come up.

Nah......free use of a Super Yacht tied up to the Harbour side at the swimming pool for the Monaco Grand Prix weekend - and just to sweeten the deal a steady stream of scantily clad eye candy wafting up and down the decks serving Verve Cliquot bubbles from dawn to dusk.

No We’re trying to get rid of deadwood on silly wages to bring in fresh young blood, not add to the lumber pile.

Havant & Waterlooville smashed their representative side 7-0 back in October. Just hope the nippers make a better fist of it than they did last season against Basingstoke Town (then staring at consecutive relegations 2 leagues below where Eastleigh are now) in the semi finals. We had a "good" U23 team out that night including some lads who have made 1st team outings this season, Vokins springs to mind. We were 2-0 down inside the first 10 minutes! Town had their tails up from the off, we looked like we had won before the game had kicked off and the part timers punished our sloppy play especially from the defenders, who included Klarer. Even as the game went to extra time Saints still looked like the part time team and just needing to be in the Camrose Ground to make the final. About the only player of note for Saints was Will Ferry as he worked his socks off but no one else bothered to join him in his endeavours, only putting in guest appearances. Just looking it up we haven't won this since 1976 admittedly we had missed entering for a few years more recently - think we only went back in due to the Premier League 2 fixture list was looking a bit thin on games so gave the lads another and very different match day experience.

Shareholders of Kleenex will be watching the game from behind the sofa, knowing that if the "Club Football Champions of the World" falter and fail to get any further in the CL, the share price will dip due to reduced sales to the sporting media, knocking £000's off their investment. I think now is the time to invest in buckets, as just about every supporter of every other team in the land is going to need one to cope with the nauseating media outpouring that will go on for months (even years) when they finally end 30 years without a League Championship.