John Boy Saint

Save your pennies - tried it - it doesn't work.........................however I do have some stuff from my mate in the CIA that they developed with NASA and some foreign Johnnies from central America.

If we could expand this to commentators Clive Tyldesley on ITV commentating on Ingerland games annoys the whatsit out of me, it was no surprise that he made a pigs ear of commentating the Viking Axe throwing on Ant & Decs Saturday take away! Yup Garth Crooks spouts some cobblers. Chris Sutton is a funny one though, one minute you’re thinking - are you thick? Subject changes and you’re thinking - gosh I hadn’t thought of it like that.

Just about sums up what happens every time we play them! nope that didn’t go Whooosh - I just chose to duck!

Armstrong and JWP won’t be getting the Players player vote as they are the Fines committee- nor will Jack Stephens as he is the fines appeals judge and no one gets a decision overturned.

That one in the second half was funny though, his positioning and shaping was spot on just had a brain fart as he pulled the trigger - quite a few around us were laughing about it for quite a while. As for shooting practise, watching the pre match warm up and the shooting drill Danny Ings must have hit the post more times than he scored, actually most of them rattled woodwork rather than the back of the net............so I guess it was good to see little Shane had been paying attention in training and managed to get something on the ball for our first.

Fonte was already due for the door when Poch started his first full season that’s why Yoshida was brought in, only Yoshida got crocked at the confederation cup over the summer, which gave Fonte the window to go “I ain’t having this” and upped his game getting super fit in the process and putting in some damn good performances that gave Poch no choice but to stick with him. There was a player interview thingy and more than once when asked who is the fittest player in the squad everyone said Fonte when he came back from winning the Euros his ears needed greasing to get through the doors and he felt his stock was far higher than it actually was.

Looked pretty innocuous at the time good solid challenge put the ball out Lino flagged something Villa player laying on the ground well off the pitch suddenly had the lino flagging for a foul. Villa player was “dead!” Then was suddenly possessed and started wiggling back into life and - hang on what’s this - he’s wriggling himself back onto the pitch!! He wriggled and wriggled and as soon as his feet crossed the line back onto the pitch the Kingsland and Chapel erupted into giving him dogs abuse which got louder the more of himself he wriggled onto the pitch - quite frankly the referee should have booked him as that was unsportsman like behaviour of the highest order. Then all of a sudden the Ref who was buying all the Villa feigned dives up to that point decided to buy another one that the bloke had brain damage and called on the magic sponge men - abuse by now is pouring down from the stands on this shyster - to the point where his own team mates were getting very embarrassed Grealish is waiting to take a corner while they had momentum looking impatient - Mings who had trotted up to hammer the corner home also had the nark and marched over to his team mate tried to get him up then telling him (from his body language) to get off the bloody pitch. In the end I think he realised that he was being a winkle and would be getting dogs abuse for the rest of the game and didn’t fancy the heat so made sure he carried on the act to get substituted out of the cauldron. Bet he’ll be copping it in training on Monday.

Just as a brief interlude or aside and no need for another thread, has anyone listened to the latest Peter Crouch podcast featuring Mike ‘bloody’ Dean as well as being amusing quite interesting listening to the most commented on ref in current football. .............and just before we go back to normal the Ian Wright Desert Island discs is worth looking out too. right carry on

Craig Pawson on the whistle tomorrow he’s another who can be a funny one. Last weeks excuse for a ref Simon Hooper will be manning the Transit van in the St Mary’s car park watching TV’s looking out for an offside nasal hair.

Jeez has good ole Rupert Lowe crept out of a crack in the pavement and talked Gao into opening an old folks home in the SMS car park! Lallana would offer nothing aside from an odour in the dressing room, Clyne did nowt at Bournemouth......I guess taking them opens up the opportunity to claim Gift Aid for the club when Season Ticket renewals come up.

Nah......free use of a Super Yacht tied up to the Harbour side at the swimming pool for the Monaco Grand Prix weekend - and just to sweeten the deal a steady stream of scantily clad eye candy wafting up and down the decks serving Verve Cliquot bubbles from dawn to dusk.

No We’re trying to get rid of deadwood on silly wages to bring in fresh young blood, not add to the lumber pile.

Havant & Waterlooville smashed their representative side 7-0 back in October. Just hope the nippers make a better fist of it than they did last season against Basingstoke Town (then staring at consecutive relegations 2 leagues below where Eastleigh are now) in the semi finals. We had a "good" U23 team out that night including some lads who have made 1st team outings this season, Vokins springs to mind. We were 2-0 down inside the first 10 minutes! Town had their tails up from the off, we looked like we had won before the game had kicked off and the part timers punished our sloppy play especially from the defenders, who included Klarer. Even as the game went to extra time Saints still looked like the part time team and just needing to be in the Camrose Ground to make the final. About the only player of note for Saints was Will Ferry as he worked his socks off but no one else bothered to join him in his endeavours, only putting in guest appearances. Just looking it up we haven't won this since 1976 admittedly we had missed entering for a few years more recently - think we only went back in due to the Premier League 2 fixture list was looking a bit thin on games so gave the lads another and very different match day experience.

Shareholders of Kleenex will be watching the game from behind the sofa, knowing that if the "Club Football Champions of the World" falter and fail to get any further in the CL, the share price will dip due to reduced sales to the sporting media, knocking £000's off their investment. I think now is the time to invest in buckets, as just about every supporter of every other team in the land is going to need one to cope with the nauseating media outpouring that will go on for months (even years) when they finally end 30 years without a League Championship.

Breaks your heart...................Isn't Schadenfreude a terrible thing. That puts Spurs right up the pictures - Moura is hit and miss and Dele doesn't seem to be able to hit a Cows backside with a Banjo and could also be in Hot Water following his Coronovirus tweet that would leave them even more short handed up front if the FA decide to act as they have in other cases.

Best summed up by Shane Long being deemed as offside before being fouled for the penalty that was over turned at Leicester. the point at where the VAR ref had decided that Long was offside using his onscreen lines etc, every man and his dog could see that the ball is blurred and in a lozenge shape meaning the ball was already well on its way to Long at the moment taken for the decision. With Mike Riley at the top of PGMOL (?) you are going to get bloody minded stubbornness until the cows come home.

Watching this Chelsea game Football is becoming a farce - VAR is becoming as inconsistent as the the referees were before it came in, now the player who should have been sent off for a Son on Ruduger type challenge scores a goal!

I thought I heard that had he played the bill for playing 90 minutes would have been eye watering

Some may say itÂ’s mumbo jumbo - but it worked after her last visit, she did her stuff outside and we won our first game at St MaryÂ’s. The ground is built on the site of an ancient settlement, if you look at the glass windows at the front of the stadium the map of the settlement is featured in the glass..........maybe she need to come in for top up. Something else I noted was the colour of the home dressing room, itÂ’s very black. A few years ago in the hey day of Wimbledon there was something about needing to be repainted as it was predominantly black which was what made them aggressive. Trouble is these days you canÂ’t get away with roughing up the opposition, so maybe the Black is psychologically firing them up but then during the game the are having to keep themselves in check and dulling their game. Some will be all over the above as complete hollyhocks - colour has been proven to have psychological effect. Soldiers on parade have for years been told to look at something green if they feel a bit queezy. As has been said already the football more often than not over the past few Year has been less than uplifting. As for this cobblers about playing towards the Northam second half to fire up the team, well we did that Saturday, Burnley turned up with one man and his dog and tucked themselves in a little cluster up in the corner out of the elements the awesome Northam were making out like Church Mice even when we were chasing the game.

I stand to correct myself - (having now seen it) that first goal was flippin bizarre - whilst Ings looked to be trying to avoid deflecting it into the net and giving Alex a clean catch, McCarthy looked to be unprepared for any aspect of the corner - no wonder it all looked weird from the opposite end of the ground.

Bit of a strange game - there were moments when the game sort of stopped but carried on. The first goal viewed from the far end looked really weird as not only we searingly stopped but Burnley did likewise except one person. We did look like a team that had set themselves in their heads for the break after Liverpool but then found themselves having to play at Spurs when they hoped to be on a beach. Burnley are just one of those teams that our game doesn’t suit playing against, that Vidra(?] who scored was probably their smallest player on the pitch. Didn’t think KWP looked as bad as some made out, he was a bit rusty to start but soon got into the game, certainly didn’t look like a fish up a tree like Danso did the other week. Played himself out of trouble against “the bigger boys” with a neat bit of skill a couple of times. Now I know I have different view from row EE to that of McCarthy the amount of times today he had players showing for the ball left and right with acres of Hampshire to run into but more often than not he just stood with the ball dithering about what to do.

Actually in the ground watching KWP looks ok from my seat - just a bit new that’s all. But on here every newbie has to be XBox pro straight out of the box. Wind is a bit swirly in the ground a few good cross field balls have just died mid flight.

banged to rights - posting under the influence buggered up my Saints chronology.

All this chat about the weather playing into Burnleys favour, Rain might not be an issue but 60mph winds are going to play havoc with their hoof it up front game. If the winds are that strong a hoof into the penalty box is going to have to be starting out aimed at the control box in the Itchen Northam corner for the wind whipping over the Kingsland roof getting caught under the Itchen roof and blowing back across the pitch towards the Kingsland. Should see some wayward football all round.

That is sad news, Dave Watson was top drawer, if he hadn't shocked the World signing Keegan Lawrie getting Dave Watson would have caused a spin in itself. Think the moment he he smiled at the oppos in the tunnel after taking out his front false teeth, half his afternoons work was done!