USaintA

Gavin Buzunu: Grape Crusher at a winery (good with his feet). Flynn Downes: Professional Crab Imitator (you know, because.... sideways). Damion Downs: Historical Battle Re-Enactment Specialist (because shooting accurately doesn't matter). Etc

True, plus we're their feeder club anyway and they'd never allow it.

Göztepe, I'm sorry. Please excuse me.

How are Goose Step doing in the Turkish league? If they're doing any good let's just do a Chelsea and take their manager. A quick search reveals they're in 4th... Welcome, Stanimir Stoilov!

Good clean sheet for Bazunu today. Always rated him. Great keeper.

Well that escalated quickly! Which is more than can be said for Saints' play.

I can feel it in me bones. A 4-2 comeback win.... If it happens, I'll give you the money meself as Les Dennis would say.

Good luck, Bazunu. Thanks for all the save. And to Stoke, our manager's brilliant too. We'd be more than willing to discuss a swap deal with you for yours.

Stoke, if you're reading this, forget the loan. Sign this geezer up on a permanent deal immediately. You won't regret it. He makes Peter Shilton look like Rita Stilton, and Gordon Banks look like Shabba Ranks. Trust us, Stoke. For God's sake trust us!

I don't know about anyone else, but I am starting to get the feeling that appointing this geezer might not've been such a good idea.

Great job, lads. Wiped the floor with them.

Is Jesus available? Even he couldn't save us from this.

There's this tall Nigerian geezer currently playing in the top Turkish league. Name escapes me. Think he's scored something like 11 goals in 16 games. Might be worth a shout.

Interesting to note that the head of Hamburg's scouting department is named Sefan "Stevie" Wunder.

Known as, "Jennifer" in the dressing room, apparently.

I heard that Bazunu is in the team because of the way he slices and serves a really good half time orange. Allegedly, according to reports, Bazunu's weak wrists and inability to tightly grip and hold a knife enable the orange slices to retain their natural juices. This results in a far juicer and tastier orange slice, which Tonda and the lads really appreciate.

"He rose like an anorexic Warwick Davies," is my most favourite description of Gavin Bazunu I've seen on here. Although that is really doing a great disservice to the star of Willow to be fair.

I moved over here a few years ago and had hoped to go to see a World Cup game in 2026. Well, fuck that!

Cos maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me. And after all, you're my Tonda Wall. We hate Pompey, we hate Pompey.

If we're talking about the kind of parties where everyone stands around making inaccurate lists using ChatGPT then no, I don't think I would be much fun at one of those, you're right.

Odd list considering that at least 2 people on it have indeed been sacked.

I woke up this morning thinking Saints won a game of football by a 5-1 scoreline yesterday. Did this really happen, or was it all just a dream?

I have it on very good authority that TV's Morph is going to get the gig. He'll be clay-er manager apparently. His good communication skills swung it for him over the other candidates. I'm leaving now.

Have we sacked him yet?

No, I wear them when I play. She's got gigantic feet.