B*llocks, I feel for you mate!
Try getting someone in your family to pay for birthday+christmas or something. For some reason I get the feeling this season will be one you don't want to miss.
I think i've figured it out. This whole scenario was a set-up by Baj and Mark Fry, to try and test the new server.
It would also explain why the "takeover" happened on a Wednesday and not a Friday.