Hatch

If Spain win the only undefeated team in this years World Cup will be... New Zealand

gazza = legend. He will post on the weirdest thing you have done while ****ed thread in a minute

In Paris, about 8am, been up all night drinking. Found one of those orange juice selling kiosk things, shaped like an orange. It had just opened for the morning. Slammed the lid down on the poor sod inside, rocked the kiosk off it's base and then tried to roll it down the street, while young frenchman was still locked inside. Had to run away from a very angry crowd of Parisians.

http://twitter.com/kay_burley

How long does a tour take? i can't imagine it taking longer than 30 mins.

Just bought my daughter the cheapest pair I could find, she only wore them about 2 or 3 times. Waste of money having to buy a new pair every year for about 2 hours football.

Following Stu's every move on twitter.

and well done to his linesmen as well. The two biggest f-ups this world cup have been made by linesmen not referees, so the linesmen are equally important. FWIW, i hate linesmen more than referees.

i think i read on here that it isn't even there any more

wish he would shoot that Chief Constable, she is a shocker. Put her out of her misery.

Just remembered another one.. While wandering around the back streets of London near The Strand somewhere, was asked by 3 Albanians , 2 blokes one girl, to give them all my money , wallet, phone etc. I did the decent thing and told them to F*8K off. So they promptly stabbed me in the bollllox. I was so drunk that I didn't even realise, so just got a taxi home. In taxi on way home, still didnt even notice that I was bleeding all over the place, but did realise that I was wet. I thought that I had wet myself in the taxi, so didn't say anything and got him to drop me off about 100 yards from my house, paid and got out without saying anything hoping he wouldnt notice. It wasn't until i got home and took my shoes off and thought, thats a bit weird, my shoes are full of blood that I realised what had happened. Wifey then promptly whisked me off to hospital where I stayed for a few days.

Friday, motorbike crash

Also done the falling asleep on train thing. Worst was leaving Paddington wanting to go to Slough. Woke up at Oxford, Got train back, fell asleep, back to Paddington, got another train (the last one ) , fell asleep again, got off at Didcot. Then had to get a £70 taxi. Could have got a taxi in the first place for £30 and saved myself about 6 hours arsing around.

gate crashed a party in Windsor castle. After about 3 hours there, was eventually escorted from the premises by blokes with guns.

what is moisturiser? is that a girls thing

At least we know it wasn't a Mini. He is banned from getting in those.

Predictions? I reckon he will be gunned down by cops, while attempting to try and find his daughter to say good bye to her. He seems too stupid to be able to travel more than 20 miles away from home, and therefore is currently staying at one of his equally thick mates house. or a reporter from News of The World will find him before the cops do, and this weekend he will feature in a full double page spread telling his life story, while pictured swigging champagne in just his boxer shorts while lying on a satin sheeted double bed.

had my stag weekend in Magaluf. I think.

I was on the Piccadilly line that day when the bombs went off, I was at Green Park at the time so not that many stops away. When they announced that the tubes had been suspended and that everyone had to leave the station it was obvious they were talking complete ******x. They were blaming an electical fault on the metropolitan line for stopping the piccadilly line.

I still don't know why this woman is famous.

We nearly bought the ****dorf stadium in Switzerland

probably get the Final now that Uruguay are out

arson victims

I'm getting a divorce tomorrow