Crouchie's Lawyer

fixed it

Its only trigger by lights in human you pea 'n' eye. Cats dont start fitting due to lights

Yes, she had an epileptic fit again on Sunday night. I mentioned it on the weekend fred as it put a downer (not that kind Cabbage) on my weekend and a few c*nts have been taking the peace

Right Im gonna buy a beer and take it to the loo and pour water in it and call the trading standards telling them your watering down your beer

Only because he sexually abused you when he was drunk

Who was this aimed at???

Right, Im gonna send some 16 year olds with big beards and who are really old looking in your pub, wait till you serve them and then call the Trading Standards and get your licence taken away!

:finga:

:smt042 CF is my favourite poster ever FACT

Possibly most pedantic Can we also have Most ghey and Most boring

Yeah I love them. Most flavours, ministrone, tomato and herb, chicken and mushroom

I feel I probably have two of those covered

Blow my nose

Chocolate flavoured, with Toblerone and oreo cookies. You.cannot.beat.this. FACT

A little mad yes. I can see your point, however, PFC would have been worse. POU could stand for POULTRY or POUR. Whats the chances of another identical car coming up for sale soon? (The fact you drove 180 miles, tends to lead me to believe, they are not two-a-penny)

I had porridge flavoured with syrup (came like it in the pack) the other day, now we have run out.

Yes, I know absolutely nothing about sales, which is why I have spent the whole of my working life in sales I am fully aware what an OTE means Stu. I have been lucky enough to work for two mortgage companies as a fully qualified mortgage advisor. Yes it was over the phone. Firstly, the 'high street, corporate company' I worked for, had targets, which I always exceeded. Basic was approximately £20k, with OTE £24k. I was on course to earn in excess of £32k that particular year before deciding to move to a better paid job in a Mortgage brokering role. Your 'dont talk sh!te comment goes to show that you know sweet FA about the mortgage industry stu. The company I moved to had loose targets. They KNEW the people they employed were good sales people and as such, trusted them. My basic there was £18k with an OTE of £40k. I started half way through the year so my OTE was reduced accordingly, however I still managed to earn £35k (bearing in mind I was not on a 'full pay per deal' for 6 months of the year until my pipeline had amassed and the sign off was complete). The following year, I was well on course to earn minimum of £50k and more than likely a figure of £60k would not have been too far wrong. However, the credit crunch hit and killed most of the mortgage market, including a huge chunk of my pipeline. Hence why I moved out of the market. And yes my income now is considerably less. However your comment regarding age is just plain wrong. Up until the credit crunch hit, a CeMAP qualification, meant you could walk into a broker, and be paid a very high amount of money. The company I worked for dealt in the sub prime market and were charging client £3000 to arrange their mortgages. I frequently did in excess of 10 deals a month, and had ASU (Accident, sickness and unemployment) penetration of around 50-60%. I would personally earn a basic of £18k, and £225 per deal. The Average ASU policy would get me £150 and if I introduced my own business (as opposed to a lead which I was given) I was given half the broker fee, proc fee and ASU. On a sub prime deal, that can be worth to me around £3k. Sorry to peace on your 'load of sh!te' comment. It may work for people who are not very intelligent Stu, however, I find, eductaed people and people with half a brain, can see past the 'cheeky chappy' approach and see that all the sales person is thinking of them is money money money. I would want to be sold to by someone who knew about the product, someone who informed me of all points, so that I can be better informed to make the decision about if I needed the product or not. I agree with the identifying needs comment, which IMO goes hand in hand with knowing the product. If you do not know your product inside out, how can you be sure your product fits the need of the client??? I have never been told 'You didnt built up a decent rapport with the client' because all my 'sales' have been left in such a way that the client is happy with what they have been sold as they understand it. If I am buying something, I want the product, not a 'c*ckney geezer' person trying to come across as one of my friends.

Can we open another forum called CabbageFaceCorner where he can sing till his little bitty hearts content?!

I bet there is one of these 'c*ckney Geez' sales men, that try and be your best friend and sell the product that way. Annoys the sh*t out of me as 99/100 times, they dont actually know much about the product they are selling and over compensate for this by being all 'chummy' and 'matey' with the client. When I sell, I pride myself on knowing as much about the product as possible and having faith in it. This way, I can pass on my knowledge to the customer and if they understand the product well, they are more likely to want it (unless the product is gash).

Which is what I mean by the 'Irish trick'

For once Im inclined to agree with you my little ginger friend. Any sales person, this is a consistent over achiever would be on a hellova lot more than that! Especially if they were skilled in a number of areas which Stuey claims to be! I was on over 30k at 22 years old selling mortgages. And a hell of a lot more than that at my next mortgage sales job. However, the nasty old credit crunch has meant I had to jump before the ship sank and im now earning a hellova lot less. But the bills get paid I guess so all is good!

She's sick too? God, its getting worse. Its nothing contagious is it? Not an STI? Ill just have to do the old Irish trick. To be sure, to be sure

Was there such a thing? I thought it was Catwoman?

:smt042 I kind of like it when Jon-J rambles on. Just dont comment on his hair colour. The wee fella gets a little uptight about it.

:smt058 Commitment to the cause and all that