Crouchie's Lawyer

I saw Kate Garraway today and Kim Wilde yesterday. Lorraine Kelly the day before that

Sounds kind of like the same. That your perception of size/distant was fecked. Thats what I got

I ferking love crackling. Has to be propper crispy though

What did you halucinate? I remember when I was younger and used to get a cold/flu, I used to haluncinate that the door to my room was miles away, then really close, that things were really heavy and everything was out of proportion (like my hands were really big). I used to sleep halucinate though (basically trippy dreams) but it would happen as I was drifting off to sleep

Ah I remember that one! I'd certainly have a suckle on teh nipple! Its a gash picture, but she was say like this (below) with her back against the wall. I walked round the corner and she was facing me dead on. I found it difficult to not stare

I feel like death now. Im still gonna do what I have planned. Ill just get really stoned tomorrow so hopefully I wont be able to feel my cold!

That made me lol. What makes it worse, is I have been up at ITV all week in London, meaning I have to get up at 5.15am to get a train to arrive in London for 8.30. Its non-stop walking around, up and down stairs and climbing ladders all day, before getting the train back and getting home at 5pm ish. I have walked so far this week and with this cold which I have had for the last few days, I am f*cking f*cked!

Tonight: Sit infront of Telebox on innernets and watch stuff I sky plussed but havent watched yet. Order a chinese takeaway and when it arrives, get teh Mrs to walk to front door, collect food and serve to me so I dont have to get out of my chair. No doubt my nose will run when eating my chinese as I have a cold, but I may not blow it, or even sniff it up, Im just gonna let it roll down my face. Pop over AV's house to steal his Aids Medicine and replace them with laxatives, so he poo's himself and the Aids gets the better of him. Sat: Watch Soccer AM while in bed, choice of watching Arse Vs Manure or going with teh Mrs to see the cars she has chose for transportation to and from the wedding next year. Think ill plumb for teh footy. Listen to Saints as Im broker than Dr Stephen Hawkin's legs then over a mates house to Watch many South Park episodes while getting high on the old Mary Jane. May fit in a few games of Pro Evo and eat a pizza. Sunday: Nothing during the day other than possibly watching footy. Playing indoor footy in teh evening.

I think he should get one of these. A dog sized horse. A Fallabella. My Mrs wants one which can live inside the house. Think there was one on the Gordon Ramsey cook along a couple of weeks ago...

I can cope with the snotty nose, but what peaces me off is the sore, tickley throat. I had the first signs of a cold yesterday which was the slightly runny nose and a metalic tasting sore throat. Where you constantly feel you need to hock a lugger. F*cking hate colds. That is all

Their lines have been rammo'd since the whole cellar incident, so I doubt you will get through

Saw her today while I was working up at ITV. We were on the roof of one of the studios (which is where her dressing room is) and as I walked around the corner, she was squatting down having a ciggy. Had she not been wearing black tights, I would have been able to see what she had for breakfast. FWIW, I would hammer the sheet out of her!

I think there is a video on my facebook. If there isnt ill put one up on there

I didnt. It was common sense as I was worried about the long term affects of the meds we were giving her. The vet had said while her levels were low, the fact she hasnt fit, means its ok and as long as she doesnt fit, it wasnt a major problem.

Thats just not anyway true though. The FACT is that you used to get e-abused from Stkipanui when he was drunk (OK maybe not sexually, but abused all the same)

One of my cats is cleverer than a dog. I have taught her fetch

No. Epilepsy isnt always triggered by lights in humans either. The Vets basically so a load of tests and if there is no obvious other illnesses that the fits can be a sympton of, they diagnose a verdit of epilepsy. Basically, if they run out of ideas, then they say its most likely epilepsy. And the med's we give her for epilepsy work and stop the fits. However, we hadnt given her much med recently, hoping that she had grown out of it by now (she hadnt had one for 18 months). She is fine now we have started with the propper doseage again

Had she managed to scoop it up into the envelope before posting it through your letterbox?

fixed it

Its only trigger by lights in human you pea 'n' eye. Cats dont start fitting due to lights

Yes, she had an epileptic fit again on Sunday night. I mentioned it on the weekend fred as it put a downer (not that kind Cabbage) on my weekend and a few c*nts have been taking the peace

Right Im gonna buy a beer and take it to the loo and pour water in it and call the trading standards telling them your watering down your beer

Only because he sexually abused you when he was drunk

Who was this aimed at???

Right, Im gonna send some 16 year olds with big beards and who are really old looking in your pub, wait till you serve them and then call the Trading Standards and get your licence taken away!