Crouchie's Lawyer

Another one... http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/5651/Woman-has-200-orgasms-a-day-Sarah-Carmen-suffers-from-Permanent-Sexual-Arousal-Syndrome-PSAS.html Right, if ever I become single, I now know the way forward. I am going to 'pretend' to be a sex addict and go to one of these Sex Annonomous meeting. Befriend the best looking girls and hey presto, instant sex on a tap!

She has obviously exhausted her local community, and no one will touch her with a barge pole now, so the best thing to do, is sell your story to the National Press, and judging by all the responses at the bottom of that article, she has just secured her next few thousand 'buddies'. She could just move town and start all over again. I fail to believe that she is 100% of the time 'careful' if her 'disease' is that bad, Im sure if she had a man with his wang out in front of her, she would not stop because he didnt have a rubber. I bet she is disease riddled up! She sleeps with an average of over 10 people a month. 1000 people in 8 years (since she lost her virginity as a surprisingly high age of 17 - for a Essex bird!) Why would anyone go out with her? Her new boyfriend - Wayne, must have some serious self respective issues. It has failure written all over it. On the plus side for him though, I bet she is a right dirter. SHe would spit on it and everything!

+1.

:confused:

No.

Sh!tzu and a Parrot, it would be Sh!tot

Yes, twice. Very funny. Make sure, if you are sat near the front, you go to the toilet half way through!

Nan's love puzzles. FACT

My excel spread sheet would not calculate higher than 2811 - well it did but the cells contains letters. I dont know what is after a billion? Is it Trillion or Zillion? Whatever it is, the year 3000 will see subsciptions of 2.63427E+13 I think Bajjer's great great great grandaughter will not only look pretty fine, but she will be very well off too!

You are not accounting for inflation though mate. Based on an average of 3% inflation pa, in the year 2811, the annual subscription alone would be £98,724,335,191.00 (Ninety eight billion, seven hundred and twenty four million, three hundred and thirty five thousand, one hundred and ninety one pounds) And Bajjy said it was a non-profit making entity!

Was it a Monty Python re-run?

There will be no way that the ERC's would be worth paying if its fixed for that long. Over the last few years, rates being relatively low coupled with lenders increasing the ERC's, mean that 99% of the time the ERC means it doesnt benefit changing the rate. This is my plan. My rate ends the end of this month. I was fixed at 4.89% for 3 years and was fearing the end of my rate. C&G my current lender could only offer a fixed rate of 6.24% recently! Glad I shopped around, as I managed to get a tracker with HSBC at .89% above BOE so my new rate as of next month is 3.89%!! I managed to get the HSBC rate before they pulled all their best rates too! The thing which annoys me is the lenders pulling the tracker rates knowing the base rate will fall. Greedy bar stewards. Re your comment Steve, I agree, people were moaning that they were lending too much too cheaply, however, providing they keep their criteria strick and dont lend to people who wont pay their mortgage, it should be fine.

Meh, still probably 'would' I would accept that from anyone other than you Stevo. You 'would' more often than me!

Precisely! I buy DVD's from knock off Nigel £1.22 a pop, all DVD screeners and a lot of the time, they come from Yankeedoodle so I get them before or actually when they are in the cinny over here. I still go for the 'bigger' films which require the experience of the cinema, like Cloverfield for example. By the time you have paid for two cinny tickets, parking (if chargable) and a drink each and some food, you would be lucky to see change from £25!

Sadly enough, I worked this out just the other day too when I heard it on Radio 1.

I turned safe search off before typing in 'Lorraine Kelly' after my previous search was for 'squatting down'.... Not.nice. Pics of LK are funneh though. She obviously lost her razor/immac

I saw Kate Garraway today and Kim Wilde yesterday. Lorraine Kelly the day before that

Sounds kind of like the same. That your perception of size/distant was fecked. Thats what I got

I ferking love crackling. Has to be propper crispy though

What did you halucinate? I remember when I was younger and used to get a cold/flu, I used to haluncinate that the door to my room was miles away, then really close, that things were really heavy and everything was out of proportion (like my hands were really big). I used to sleep halucinate though (basically trippy dreams) but it would happen as I was drifting off to sleep

Ah I remember that one! I'd certainly have a suckle on teh nipple! Its a gash picture, but she was say like this (below) with her back against the wall. I walked round the corner and she was facing me dead on. I found it difficult to not stare

I feel like death now. Im still gonna do what I have planned. Ill just get really stoned tomorrow so hopefully I wont be able to feel my cold!

That made me lol. What makes it worse, is I have been up at ITV all week in London, meaning I have to get up at 5.15am to get a train to arrive in London for 8.30. Its non-stop walking around, up and down stairs and climbing ladders all day, before getting the train back and getting home at 5pm ish. I have walked so far this week and with this cold which I have had for the last few days, I am f*cking f*cked!

Tonight: Sit infront of Telebox on innernets and watch stuff I sky plussed but havent watched yet. Order a chinese takeaway and when it arrives, get teh Mrs to walk to front door, collect food and serve to me so I dont have to get out of my chair. No doubt my nose will run when eating my chinese as I have a cold, but I may not blow it, or even sniff it up, Im just gonna let it roll down my face. Pop over AV's house to steal his Aids Medicine and replace them with laxatives, so he poo's himself and the Aids gets the better of him. Sat: Watch Soccer AM while in bed, choice of watching Arse Vs Manure or going with teh Mrs to see the cars she has chose for transportation to and from the wedding next year. Think ill plumb for teh footy. Listen to Saints as Im broker than Dr Stephen Hawkin's legs then over a mates house to Watch many South Park episodes while getting high on the old Mary Jane. May fit in a few games of Pro Evo and eat a pizza. Sunday: Nothing during the day other than possibly watching footy. Playing indoor footy in teh evening.

I think he should get one of these. A dog sized horse. A Fallabella. My Mrs wants one which can live inside the house. Think there was one on the Gordon Ramsey cook along a couple of weeks ago...