tpbury

this is funnier than I thought it would be! D Megolddick Andy Bellend Danny Upthebottom Marian A-hahs!!!

FFS - have you asked her out? She may tell you to do one, rather than being pathetically grateful that a non HIV person is considering having sex with her! Might be a good idea to try to 'build' a 'relationship' and then see how you both 'feel'.

No, no, no! I read through this whole thread to see if any had spotted this, and you took the opportunity but fluffed it! With the talk of the catering manager also being dismissed, there was acres of space to make a sales/burger/salsa based crack, but you screwed it up with irrelevant references to dances (now if the cheerleader manager had been given the boot, then it would've been ok). Try harder next time.

My vote is that Turkish is a real intelligent bloke and a also bit of a wide boy. Because of this, he provokes and responds in different ways. I suppose everyone knows that. The thread is interesting despite/because of Turkish's contribution. My view - I want a world which upholds all the 'easy' ethics which most religions adhere to. I'd rather religion was just something you put in facebook. When I read about the crusaders sticking their swords through the bellies of pregnant women I realised that Christianity was sh i t. When I see followers of all religions do the same, I realise that all relisgion is sh i t.

Well, when we were young, we didn't have to dissemble the meanings of songs we liked, so: At The Name of Jesus - loved it - incredibly aggressive and inspriring In The Deep Mid Winter - v. depressing, good choon the bit where they go all mental on the glory thing, must get to church more often, me dad'd be ashamed of me

What do you think Britain is? What do you think a Kingdom is, cos I've got no frickin clue!

I'm sure you're aware that there is an entire thread from a few weeks ago dedicated to 'standers' and 'sitters', though your particular affliction seems to suggest you present your backside to the trap door, rather than presenting your pathetic manhood - you should start another thread on the subcategories of 'standers' - god knows you are a weird tribe, possibly without bum hair. Have you considered clinkers or absence thereof as a possible root cause for the itch? You could consider getting Shane Warne or David Gower or Alan Lamb or another cricketer to give you advice on growing bum hair? Do you shave 'down there'? I've a feeling tag-nuts are essential to anal comfort.

Perth is full of wnakers, just like UK, but there's some decent people if you want to avoid all the racism and paranoia, mind you, that might be what you're after! As others have said, there isn't much around, though the South of WA (Margaret River) is only a couple of hours drive - you get to see greenery there! Onve you've done that and the Pinnacles (6 hours north), you're left with Perth. A lovely place, Fremantle is particularly nice, but I chose not to live there on accessible varietal scenery grounds. And not being involved with mining.

And the other two times? I sincerely hope you go to every match, otherwise, please stay away!

Leeds 3-2 - hmmm Warnock... hmmmm

Up the Nuns!

R5 live says we are pretty, but pising around.......................................................I can smoke whilst listening wooooooooooooooootttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt Jos

Boags yes, Extra Dry maybe, Crown - NO! Went to Sail and Anchor at Fremantle, Perth last night and had 'UK IPA'. Was quite nice, but basically lager with orange colour. BWS are/were doing 12 Loewenbrau for $25 and they are nice, albeit Ozzie brewed.

Jokes here are either crap, funny, tasteless and funny but not tasteless and unfunny. If the cot death one is funny to you, I guess it's because you're don't have an instinctive empathy for the concepts of the words that you write or say. That's why I found all those ethiopian and racist jokes funny when I was a kid - because I had no understanding or education of the subject matter. Maybe I've been brainwashed. Now for some proper crap jokes: Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. I was walking through the cemetery the other day and saw 6 blokes carrying a coffin. An hour later, saw the same guys wandering around with the same coffin. I thought to myself - "They've lost the plot" I was invited to a party at the embassy and the invite said "Dress to Kill". The false beard, turban and backpack didn't go down too well.

Well, this gives me an opportunity to ask a question. Whilst I may have a couple of real ales at the beginning of the evening in order to humour my bearded mates, I invariably switch to 'fizzy continental' and then maybe cider. However, fave ale is/was HSB. Is that brewed in Hampshire? Don't think that HSB is Marstons - but I always thought they had a connection with Hampshire also - any views?

Quite a good thread! For some insight, here in Australia there's much less competition and I feel that the supermarkets are a few years behind UK (wow, they just introduced a clothing range at Coles! (and it's all crap quality like all Oz clothes, dunno why, not that George or F&F is great, but they're just crap here at clothes)). Anyway, the ONLY way you can get any value for money is buying specials, BOGOFs etc. The 'home brand' stuff is ok, but not massively cheaper than brands, and often more expensive if the brands are on discount. We didn't shop at Aldi in UK (habit rather than snobbishness), but they have brought seasonality to the point of science - basically whatever's on offer (grapes, razors, fridge, coffee, ride on mower, whatever), you have to grab it, coz it'll be cheap and not available next week. So it's basically random shopping based on price - which I think may clome close to the 'perfect market' - that is bringing the required goods, at the required cost to market at the right time, all of the time (as per what I remember from doing Economics A level 5 million years ago).

Meryl Streep. Fkn milk snatcher.

Look, were you purposely ambiguous in your use of the expression in dispute? FFS, no one ever says 'put one on side'. Either revise your transcript to let us know whether 'put one on the side', or whatever was said, or phone Beatties or someone again. (Not James, unless 'on side' in a footballing sense). I've spent a hard day analysing data today, and now this seems like work. Tscheesch.

No, it's called a fail. ;-)

Facrissakes, do you ever say 'put that on hold'? No, you don't, you say 'hold that for me'. Your version of the crap joke fails on many levels. However, consider it fixed. I don't know why this is important to me at this moment in time, so, apologies......

Facrissakes, do you ever say 'put it on ONE side'? No, you don't, you say 'put it on THE side'. Your crap joke fails on many levels. However, consider it fixed. I don't know why this is important to me at this moment int time, so, apologies.....

Reading BillyShyte's excellent blog, he often refers to a couple of wnakers who continually moan throughout the game, often demonstrating complete ignorance of the team and game as they do so. I recognised these types from when I used to attend games. I'd often be stood near to such koks in the Milton Road end, which seemed to attract them. They made me so angry most of the time, not just cause they made the odd criticism or got on the back of players who weren't trying, but because THEY NEVER FRICKIN SHUT UP!!!!! Never any break from the continuous negative bile (unless we were winning, which, lets face it, wasn't very often in the 80s and in any case it would only be narrowly, giving them plenty of opportunity to predict how we'd concede - and that happened a lot also). Frankly it made me depressed. I often left the game feeling that my 'matchday experience' had been tainted, leaving me with a bleak outlook on life. Basically, these types messed up my day, and I dont even know if they got any benefit out of spouting all the BS they did - maybe it was therapy for them, I'm sure they acted more out of compulsion than reason, but it was a selfish compulsion, unaware of the impact it had on the impressionable audience that was forced to listen to the drip, drip of negativity. Those type of people really, really **** me off.

Joy of Sex?

lover, not a fighter. A joker, a smoker, a midnight toker. Cool as and burnin hot, the dude was class, kicked ass and didn't let no mofo stand in the way of his righteous dismay. Hear what Im sayin?

Be Cool. Look at Utd, City, Chelsea - weird results. Forget about random Arse. All will be well. Trust me. Right now, we're top of the table, somewhere we've not been for ages. Despite losing! Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm. (Should I wish to fail to be 'promoted' to the dog's den PL?!?!?!) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.