Turkish

Thats a coincidence I've got a Romanian Steaua Bucharest fan in my office. Just asked him what he thinks of gardos. He reckons he's great. Excellent positional play so doesn't need to use his pace to get him out of trouble, great with the ball at his feet despite his size and rarely makes a mistake.

This cant be true, he's rubbish and not good enough for the premier league, we know this from seeing him in a friendly.

A Liverpool fan in the office tried engaging with me about football yesterday, he was swatted away like a fly. Thick tw*t.

Many of them are, yes.

Because football fans in the main are idiots pal. Whinging, moaning, complaining dinlows. From the clown that stands behind you thinking he's funny, like the bloke in the Northam who used to shout "Go on Hoover" in his broadest 'ampshire accent then look round laughing every time Hoolveld got near the ball, to the ones who scream "f*ck off Guly" everytime Guly gets near the pitch. The ones who shout "stop f*cking about with it, get it fooooooorwarrrrrrrd" and then moan that Lambert was a lazy c*nt because he didn't chase a long punt down field while it ran out for a throw in by the corner flag. Fat, dopey, thick, scruffy idiots.

Can i ask why almost every post you've ever made on this forum has been about Boruc?

We've got one, Mayuka. We also just let go one that was lighting quick, Jonno quick. Or did you mean a decent striker?

First you agree with 'small fry' now I agree with you. Something odd going on here.

'Your new gaffer' who do you support Irene?

Foam hand waving, fancy dress wearing, back board banging awesome. I can't wait to see what September one holds for the saints.

September One would be Awesome.

He did say it was special to be here. But it was also going to be special to play under Ronald Koeman, special to play in the premier league, special to work with Dave Watson everyday. Quite a few things are special it seems.

Why do they always ask such boring questions? 'Do you think this is the right move for you?' what's he going to say FFS.

What with this and James Ward-Prowse the barristers son we must have the most middle class squad in England,

Back in the 70s there was an away section in every home end. If it remained that way to the end of each game was largely dependant on the home fans ejecting them themselves.

Cue hilarious 'can he play centre back/when's he off to Liverpool' gags

Let's hope he's a decent defender and a leader. One of the things about Lovren was he was very vocal and organised the back 4. We need to replace this.

An absolute legend and hero to saints fans. One of our best ever signings. Sadly though I think his dream move is turning into a nightmare. A few Liverpool fans at work were saying this morning how sh*t he is and a pointless signing, they seem to be on his back already.

All paid for on your saints credit card.

When Pochettino left he was told not to even think about coming back for any players.

So anyway, is he any good?

No one ever said that.

I've long held the view that there is a wealth of untapped potential on this forum. The amount of tactical geniuses, coaches, scouts, man managers, not to mention finance and law experts and business greats. The only surprise is when recruiting for these positions the club don't simply read a few threads and invite the contributors to interviews.

Not all the players cracking jokes about co*ks then?

More if a trilogy. The godfather films. Les Reed as the godfather obviously.