Turkish

come on then ponty, what about you? Ever knocked one out over a bird s***ing on you?

yeah yeah i get that, but does it make me wierd fantasing over a one eyed chinese midget? What wierd fantasies do you lot have?

what about this fantasy then?

no just lots of murders.

I had the wierdest dream a little while back. I have a customer in Plymouth which i is on an industrial estate at the end of a council estate. I dreamt that i killed a the purchasing manager from this customer and hid her body under the stairs in on of the council houses outside their offices. I turned up to work the next day in the dream and my boss sacked me because they couldn't have one of their staff going around killing customers so i took another customer to my HR dismissal hearing to fight my corner that she was a customer too and i hadn't killed her yet.

that must have been when you were trying to find your power animal.

good girl

was it a bit like that scene in fight club? I've done that before.

After a bit of advise on this one. Got a load of chinese students at the end of our road and never looked at any of them twice, until the other day i saw one in some tight fitting shorts and t-shirt which exposed her pert bum cheeks and toned stomach. I went over for a quick chat and she started flirting with me in her yappy little voice i knew it was obvious she wanted some of what i have got (i dont mean the bottle of lucazade i was drinking) Anyway, since then i cant stop thinking about her, saw her the other day and she gave me a wink and a smile and said 'herro Mister, how are you?' dead flirty like. The only problem with this is she is only 4ft 5 and has got one eye. Is it wierd to have a fantasy about a chinese one eyed midget or is it normal? ANyone else got any wierd fantasies?

being blown out by Stu!!!

glad to hear it, maybe you'll stop making refernce to it all the time then.

hmmmm, doesn't sound like it too me....

THere you go again, pandering to him, get over it.

i knew Malc well and found out this morning, such a shock. Really nice fella and a proper saints fan through and through. Will be sadly missed. Thinking of his wife Chris at this sad time.

ask Stu.

Well i dont know how many there are so i dont know if i can or not do i!!!

you're not wrong.

Yeah, you do look bloody awful in that photo to be fair.

Really? I thought you loved them? Skate Sythmpathiser.

Would she not agree to immediately move in together and have children? Is that why it was never going to work?

I might offer to hold his coat for him while he weighs you in.

Dont try and use me to get out of what you have been saying about her. To be fair from the pictures you showed me she doesn't look the sort of girl that would do ATM, so i never believe you anyway.

You shouldn't be at football, you should be at home cooking his tea for when he finishes golf.

The other problem you are going to have is that the Skate ex and father of the child will probably want a straighter with you and will no doubt kick your c*** right back to Romsey.

So you haven't even done that yet and you are talking about adopting her kids? Your true colours are showing- oh whats this i have just found on the shelf???