A good looking bloke with a massive big toe and a tiny **** pulls this gorgeous bird and takes her back to his flat. After a few wines he gets her into bed, turns the light off and they both undress. Justifiably worried his tiny old boy may leave the lady disappointed, he manoeuvres himself round in the darkness and gives her the sh@gging of her life with his gigantic big toe.
A couple of days later he notices his toe is red and itchy. The problem worsens over the following week until the toe is covered in weeping scabby sores and feels like it's on fire. No amount of scrubbing and cream application will improve the problem and eventually he goes to see his GP.
The doc takes a brief look at the toe, nods wisely, and says "I'm afraid you've got a bad case of VD of the toe sir. It's an unusual condition I know, but you'd be surprised at some of the ailments I've diagnosed in my time. Only this morning I had a bird in here with athlete's c.unt"