Wade Garrett

Was never in doubt.

I feared this, and it's one of the reasons I started the thread about players leaving. I hope he stays, natural goalscorer.

Just been accosted by the pen agent, he wants 5% of my pens. Don't worry, he's laying by the kerb now with the crap kicked out of him. Nearly there, don't panic everyone.

Can't have too many fallback options. Get down here, I'm behind a bus now and it's like driving miss f*cking daisy.

I bet he orders his pizza tonight seconds before their 11pm deadline.

Can't talk. Just paid my 60p, on my way over the bridge as we speak. Cortese has arranged for the stewards to lift the car park barrier for me. He is sh*tting his pants,and is worried I might not make it there with my pens by 11pm. Adkins is pacing the car park waiting for me. If the Sky bloke gets in my way I'm going to f*cking knock him out.

Woolston, or the plentiful supply of pens?

I'm on my way. Look out for me on SSN.

I've got loads of pens. I'm only in Woolston. Shall I nip them round to the stadium?

It would need a reference to 'Pompey Scum' if we were going to sing it.

I don't use Twitter, but am grateful to the 2 journalists you mentioned, who have spent a lot of their own time in the last 2 weeks keeping a few of the mad b*stards on this forum informed.

I told you earlier you mad b*stard, chill.

Might be the obligatory 11pm announcement, just so NC can p*ss the Echo off again.

Which is exactly why it can be difficult to sort deals early.

Dime bar for Glasgow.

Going to kickstart the server with a DeLorean.

See, told you all.

Shameless promotion of my own thread. But I still reckon 1 or 2 could be on their way.

You knows I'm right you mad b*stard.

If it was going to go tits, we'd have pulled out days ago and pursued alternative targets.

Never had any doubts on this one. Chill.

Tries the glory ball far too much and gives away possession. He'll get a few red cards in a Stoke shirt that he would have got away with if playing for Liverpool as well.

I've got SaintsWeb Tourettes. It's very liberating. Sh*tc*nt.

He's a bit of a c*nt, all the players think he's a c*nt, and he thinks Strauss is a c*nt. The only person that likes him is that c*nt Darren Gough from TalkSport, who is continually blowing smoke up his arse.

I'd like us to sign a Premier quality keeper. That rules Green out.