Wade Garrett

Still the best football programme on telly.

I know it's not a vegetable, but I once had a job retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfields arsehole. I like to eat cabbage from the wife's vag.

The film and TV series have all been crap.

I'm the Tommy Forecast of saintsweb posters. I'm not very good, and I'm full of sh!t.

They might have just been getting their dicks sucked.

If the Euro goes, what about the political integration? The Euro was doomed to fail when it allowed its members to follow their own economic path. Membership should have meant a common fiscal policy. The dream of a few jumped up political pygmies is turning to sh*t. Can we just go back to the Common Market? Keep it simple.

I am the bastard son of Dean Friedman.

Is there a chance of Birch liquidating the club to stop Chanrai coming back? Wouldn't they be better off starting from scratch?

The difference is that Ross is someone who dishes it out, Hodgson is just a football manager. The Sun has plunged NewsCorp to even lower depths. Who'd have though it possible?

I am really p*ssed off with self-important sports journalists. Watch the Sunday Supplement on Sky, with the exception of Winter and Barclay, they are clueless. Alf Ramsey wouldn't have given them the time of day, nor would Cloughie. I hope Woy doesn't either.

They were embarrassingly bad against West Ham. Ex-hammer Konchesky, and ex-skate Nugent were especially poor. They need to improve if they want to go up.

He's a football coach, not a miracle worker. We'll be lucky to get out of our group.

How did he do at Inter?

West Ham to beat Brum in the final.

I am extremely wa nkered

I would recommend Mykanos for a lads holiday.

I managed to get a home ticket this morning.

I let myself down badly when we went down and my wife didn't talk to me for a few days. Won't go into any details but I was heavily under the influence of Stella Artois. Not good.

He's hardly going to turn round and say 'we don't give a toss about tomorrow and are looking forward to our holidays' is he.

Has it got leather elbow patches?

That too, head cases.

I remember Jimmy Barnes had his hood up and walked into a lampost. Pi ssed myself laughing.

I got fu cking drenched playing golf today. I wish my waterproofs were superdry.

This 100%. The team need to be composed and focused.

Steve Jewett has told me one or two stories about the few who infiltrated the Archers and waded in. Nutters.