Wade Garrett

Anyone remember that miserable cu*nt Percy, by the old bus station. He made a right mess of my barnet once and wouldn't show me the back in a mirror. £1.75 for a wedge that would have looked better if Stevie Wonder had cut it.

Go back to your office, and leave a massive steaming pile of sh*t on your boss's desk. He'll soon get the message.

One of my biggest regrets is being on the golf course on Friday at the same time my brother was trying to get hold of me with a spare ticket. Gutted.

Next is absolute garbage.

Not in any particular shop. But I do enjoy wearing the old classic labels. Wayne?

You've all turned into your grandads, you boring cun*ts.

Kick her bearded clam.

Where does the assumption that this is a 'one off' kit, like the anniversary sash, come from? Is it conceivable that our days in a striped kit are numbered? I'm only asking these questions because I may have missed something.

The new kit is awesome, I'm going to get Dalglish printed on the back of mine.

I think people are getting hysterical over people getting hysterical. As for the kit, at least it's better than the old Pony one.

That shirt is gash.

Hammond is better than him.

I agree that 50% is way too high.

I'm not. Jimmy Carr's taxable income was about £10k.

Rather than the present system, where PAYE workers like me, earning less than 50k, are paying more than treble the tax that multi-millionaire comedians and pop stars (who get honoured by the Queen) do.

I disagree with the first half of your post. We didn't overperform last year, we are a decent side, and I would say we under performed for a fair chunk of the season. West Ham were just long ball, I think you are overrating them a bit. To be fair you are spot on about being ruthless though.

I hope the c*nts responsible receive some 'natural justice', rather than a slap on the wrist from some magistrate. We had a problem in our road with wing mirrors getting booted, the old bill, quite frankly, couldn't have been less interested. Useless f*ckers.

1. 9 2. Try for a straight left arm at impact (it won't be, but will stop you flipping your hands). 3. Practice your short game more than your long game.

I think we'll struggle to fill a 40,000 stadium on a regular basis.

I always sit for a pee at home. Failure to do so would inevitably lead to yellow walls.

I think Redknapp is a casualty of the impending financial fair play rules. Clubs won't have much choice about bringing their own talent through the ranks.

He doesn't seem a good fit for Spurs to me. Martinez much more likely imo.

It is quite obviously bullsh*t.

Clarks are sh*t compared to Kickers. I'll be attending games next season with a nice pair of loafers, a smart sports jacket and a nice pair of slacks.

I wonder if Clarence Beeks is still getting bummed by that gorilla?