scotty

In other news, C*nts Corner has been hacked and relaunched. This made me chuckle, Grumpyc*nt is like a pensioner version of bearsy: I was giving Mrs Grumps a right royal seeing too the other day and powering in like a champion when I felt the sudden urge to fart. Knowing this would be a passion killer and a waste of good Viagra, I clenched arse and tried to ignore the firestorm trying to burst through my starfish. In a desperate attempt to race said fart, I changed up a gear and started pounding in like a crazed Galapagos Turtle on speed. I was going so fast I started getting friction burn on my length and was in considerable pain so I reached for the KY jelly but to my horror I vaguely remembered eating it on dry biscuits after smoking a number the week prior as we had no food in the house. With all this on my mind, I proceeded to lose my erection. In a desperate bid to restore order I focused all my effort on flexing my cock muscle to finish the job but by doing so relaxed the considerable tension required to keep my arsepipe firmly shut. The results were disastrous as I let forth a tremendous fart the velocity of which was so great it propelled my forward, head-butting Mrs Grumps and knocking her out cold. Things only got worse when I looked behind me and realised I had misdiagnosed the need to fart and had actually thunder sh*t all over the new bed covers. When Mrs Grumps came too and asked what happened, I told her she shat the bed when she was out and she was a dirty c*nt. She would not let me finish my sh*g however the rude b*tch.

That was my immediate reaction.

Very good A bit crowbarred, but very good.

this.

Hungry.

Sicki is crawling with those at the moment.

If I'm honest, I really didn't like any of the stuff of his that I saw, which was only really the well-known films and mork & mindy. But it's a very sad way to die. They mentioned his alcoholism on the BBC report earlier, I hadn't heard that before.

That was my first thought. Can't get a signal inside the stadium, perhaps they might install WiFi?

Fixed.

...and is he hungry??

I have no problem with that, as long as we're prepared to recruit only from Hooters.

There is a lot of truth in this. Should the club take off their blinkers and start recruiting from swf, Turks would still be in Southampton overseeing office supplies at St Marys. I am prepared, should the call come, to oversee entertainment facilities at the ground. I sense a portsmouth-type buyout in the offing, who's with me?

Yes, as I posted earlier on this thread, I think he's a fantastic talent. I'm hoping koeman will play him more than Nigel or poch did, and that he will become the natural successor to lallana. Phil Neville named Gaston as the hardest player in the prem to play against a couple of seasons back, describing him as "unplayable".

He made no mistakes, and didn't need to show any "humility". If that's how he cares to refer to the argentinians then that's his affair and nobody else's. It's no different to us moaning, (which most of us don't,) about other countries referring to us as "brits".

Isn't there some, ah, history between Uruguay and the argies? Did he say whether that had anything to do with it? And yes, I'd love to see him do well here, fantastic talent.

I still see a 50p coin and think "ten bob".

A glossy black bird flew into my pub, and perched on the bar. "Good morning young fellow," I smiled, "and what can I get you? Lemonade?" Mimicking my voice, he said "Pint of Stella please mate, and a whisky chaser." "Sorry sonny," I replied. "We don't serve alcohol to mynahs."

"hasper" is an anagram of "sharp". Apart from the "e". This must prove something, but I don't know quite what.

So why couldn't they have done it with the "are you absolutely sure you want to leave us" pitch?

:lol:

Stop wasting your posts on humour Guan, you only have 3 a day!! You can get back to the comedy when the window closes.

Right under that article are two Google ads: "how to declare bankruptcy", and "remortgages from 1.79%".

It did occur to me that the dippers might bid for him purely on the grounds that we are linked with him. Cut out the middleman, so to speak.

Neither would amaze me, tbh. We've had players in on loan before, obviously, but in recent years we've brought almost every player in on contract. Seems odd that policy has suddenly changed.