Bearsy

Someone back me up here, I can't be the only one knows bout the catcher I the sky killing Abraham Lincolnshire. There was a whole movie bout it starring mel gibsons, Julia Roberts and baldy big nose from star trek

Gotcha. That's why he killed Abrahams Lincoln.

Just post it up here homes! Anything that ain't bout Ramirez is "on topic" in this thread. It's like the mods have give me a free pass to talk bolllocxs! You know that Tulisa story? When you heard about it did you get a little boner even though it was basically a terrible rape story? No, me neither... I mean alright I did but in my defence next to the story they had enticing pictures of Tulisa sticking her boobs out or whatever.

Alright let's say he sh!ts where he sits. How is that working in practicality? If he just goes I'm thinking it won't actually exit his bum crevice which is presumably like a bit of a grand canyon. It'd have to be a very long turd to poke out past them bum cheeks Unless the turds kind of queue up in the folds of his bum cheeks and maybe over time a new turd pushes one of the old turds out into the world, like one of them 2p games in sh!t arcades. But then, he's still basically sitting on it. Maybe he rolls over on one side to get a clean exit, but then still what's he gonna do next? There's no way he's reaching behind himself with them Michellin arms, all he can do is roll back on top of his freshly laid whatever. It trouble me, Tokyo. I don't know I'll be getting any sleep tonight!

Nah homes I ain't read that one. I've heard of it though, it's that one bout the dude what killed Abraham Lincoln or whatever. I'll maybe check it out. I have been reading a bit though bout Tulisa and bout her getting sexed up or whatever. It was pretty bad right, she was out with Fazer and Dappy and they was all putting drugs in peoples drinks and she was like I don't want to be drugged so she was pretending she weren't thirsty or whatever, but then she had a drink anyway and it was spiked and she woke up in "a strange taxi" which I thought was odd cos all taxis are strange, and Fazer or Dappy was feeling her up - she ain't clear which one - then she was unconscious again and when she woke up again she was in Fazer or Dappy's bedroom and Fazer or Dappy was having sex with her but she weren't loving it but she couldn't tell Fazer or Dappy to stop cos she was drugs. Then she wakes up next morning and Fazer or Dappy's mum is making her a cup of tea and asking her if she had nice sex, and cos she is embarrassed she is saying "Oh yes thanks Mrs. Fazer/Dappy."

It's the positioning of the toilet roll I find interesting. I mean normally I'd assume it was for vvanking but it don't seem like he's actually got access to his penis. Then I was thinking maybe getting up is a bit of trouble so when he wants a dump he just like goes, there in his sofa. But again, I can't see him managing the reach round to his bumhole for cleaning up. It's a mystery!

Never bleeding heard of Tristans before! I had no idea how far up this thing goes! We should call the "Who do you think you are" people so they can trace back Dunes through the ages. Probably turn out to be Hitler's uncle or something.

Yeah dat's one of my favourites too! I reckon a lot of the political satire bits go over my head I really like the swearing! "What the f*ck is this, Tinker Tailor Soldier C*nt" made me loool the other week! [video=youtube_share;2jPTS1emNeI]

I don't like to be over critical or whatever... but that's rubbish! You've even spelt Saints wrong! Or is that on purpose? Is Cheesie famously dyslexic or something?

Word. I also notice she's messed up with the fake tan on her right hand. We've got a girl like that at work i was like what's that on your hand and she was like it's fake tan and i was like "oh... how come you only put it on your knuckles?"

what you chattin bout there pap?

Cheesie I ain't gonna talk to you every day! I'm a busy bear, I'm having to set them all right on the main board all the time, then I have to go tell them in the Arts forum that they're watching the wrong tv shows or whatever. It ain't easy being me. You don't need to be such a b!tch about it though. I had this girl once and if you didn't pick up your phone or answer a text she just kept ringing and ringing till you did. One time she rung like 15 times in the space of 5 minutes and in the end i caved and was like "What!" and she said "Just wanted to see how you were." FFS

I remember when i was a kid next door had a tortoise and when they was away they left me in charge. It weren't a big job, you just lob in a couple of lettuce leaves or whatever. Then one day it weren't coming out to play so I give it a fair Christian burial. Gathered my little sister round and I done a whole service and we buried the thing in the rosebushes. It was a sad day. Anyway couple of weeks later the neighbours come back and they was asking bout their tortoise and I had to gently break the bad news. They didnt take it well, they was all going on bout hibernation and stuff. They even went and dug it up (sacreligious!) but it was dead. Just like I said. I'm just thinking bout Cheesie really. I feel like I pronounced him dead, and even done a whole tombstone and now people is trying to make out like he was just hibernating. They're trying to make me look like a mug!

Whenever i look at old paintings, which to be fair ain't that often, I'm always struck by how ugly the b!tches was back in them days. It's a surprise the humans didn't die out when all the girls was so pie faced! I've been investigating it though in my head and have found the following options: 1) B!tches was just genuinely uglier in olden days b) B!tches are still ugly, it's just they is disguising it with modern improvements in make up and boob jobs iii) The painters in old days was just sh!t and made all the hot b!tches look ugly

MOTD would be a better show if the pundits actually watched the games. I mean I know they ain't got time to watch them all, but they could at least watch the big game of the day. It's clear Lawrenson never saw the game against Villa. He's like seen it was 0-1, seen Paul Lambert claim they deserved to be ahead, and decided Villa must have dominated. He's like the Alpine Saint of pundits. I ain't a hater though, I don't mind him on Football Focus or whatever I like how he says "merment". I also like it when he's co-commentator on Five Live and Alan Green says something dumb and you can hear Lawrenson lolling in the backgrounds.

I can remember pretty clearly waking up one morning i was like 14 or 15 and celebrating my first clean sheet. My mum was so proud! When will Adkins celebrate the first Premier League clean sheet with the Southampton boys? I don't think Everton. Everton will knock one in. Then we've got Fulham, I've got Berbatov to score in that one. Then West Hams, Carroll will be back for that one no doubt and he'll nod in a big hoof against the run of play. Then we've got Tottenham. They'll score. Gareth Bale probably. He'll be thinking didn't I used to score free kicks down here? Then we're up at West Brom remember remember 5th of November, that's on TV though... If not Swansea at home 10th November. I think even tho they got that big win against QPR they're gonna turn out to be turd this year and get relegated. Michu might get one though. Or little Nathan Dyer to recover his southampton form and "nick one". Sometime in November is my prediction!

Everton looked good. Pity the fool what has to play them next

Lawrenson seems suddenly struck by an original thought and he turns to Arry and is like, "You know who he reminds me of, Lambert?" Enlighten me Lawrenson. I was thinking oh he's gonna come up with some 70s player I ain't heard of, or maybe like Shearer or something. "Grant Holt for Norwich last season" FFS

I think the opposite. Adam and Punch I'd say should only be allowed to pass the ball into the net. If it needs a smack, let Ricky do it. Or Gaston.

I give it to Ricky. I really liked his equalising goal! I don't reckon anyone strikes the ball cleaner than Ricky, not in the whole Premier League. It's so sweet when you get a penalty and you're not even slightly worried bout ur dumbass striker scuffing it.

So cheesie, what did you do while you was away? Anything interesting? Did you go posting on some other forums or was you sitting on your hands the whole time. Nice to have you back or whatever! I quite like the idea bout Chalet on his computer and he innocently opens a pm and then he goes white as a sheet, his mouth goes dry and he starts looking about wildly. Someone is coming for me! Oh noes! He reaches out with trembling fingers and clicks on the BAN button. But will that be enough? I bet he slept top and tails with stevegrants that night. I bet he still has Baj come check under his bed when he gets home from the curry house.

Just by the by, i mentioned this before that all the Villas say bout Steven Davis that we'll never see him play 90 minutes cos he physically don't have the stamina, they reckon that's why the originally sold him back in the day when he used to play for them. I said we already see him play 90 against Man Utd. They said, yeah but was he any use last 20 minutes? Thinking back... no he weren't! Got subbed again today I see.

Fo' real? There ain't nothing bout that in the rules! I call Chalet a dirty mod bastard in pm's all the time. Although not admittedly in the pm's i send him. I ain't stupid!